A mom posted about wanting to go to school for her PhD in microbiology and molecular genetics but she would have to move about 3 hours away because her husband could not transfer for his job. She would either take her son and they would see DH on weekends or the son could stay with DH and it be the other way around. There were some saying she was selfish or she should not do it or how it would never work out. I commented and asked how it was different than a dad that was in service and gone for long amounts of time or even a trucker that was gone for weeks or months at a time. I was told because it was a want, not a need. I don't understand why moms are not supposed to want to do things for themselves but it is ok for dads. It is not a need for a dad to be in service, that is a want. It is not a need to be a trucker, or any other occupation that takes you away from your family. It is something you want to do. And no one thinks twice if it is the dad that does it but a mom is supposed to be with her family at all times and is a horrible mother if she wants to persue something that takes her away from her kids for a while.
Heck some moms think it is horrible to even leave you children with their own father long enough for a girls night out or a freaking pedicure. My husband and I both strongly believe in being a parent, but also being ourselves. If one of us wants to go out, then the other will stay home with the children. My husband does not "watch" our kids, he parents them like he is supposed to. And he does not complain if I feel the need to go watch a movie I want to see or go out with friends. And my children benefit by having a happy mother. Same for him. He goes out with friends if he wants and he is a happier person. I don't think anyone should just stay stuck in one role just because they are a parent, be it mom or dad. My husband works 60 hours a week, he needs a break from work, husband, and dad to be just himself. I am a stay at home mom and I need a break from being mom and wife for a while. Doesn't make either of us horrible, especially not since I am the mother. I am not selfish, I just want to make sure and not lose myself in motherhood and be more mentally happy. I don't see a thing wrong with that mom wanting to go to school for something she is passionate about and if it was her husband none of you would probably see anything wrong with it, and probably even be saying that is great that he will be able to get a great job after.