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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

my son says he is gay

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 39 Replies
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ok so first of all i am not a troll. second a couple of months ago my son who is 11 wanted to have a serious sit down with me and dad. so we were like ok what is up. i was thinking maybe he wanted to live with his bio dad. so was pretty much ready for the convo. then he blows us away and says i am gay. i was kind of in shock, so was dad. so we decided to ask him what makes him feel that way. he says that he does not feel toward girls the way other boys in his class do. and yes i am aware he is only 11. i told him that if he felt like girls were more friends than anything elese that was ok. but also that did not mean he might be gay. then he drops another bombshell that he over heard a teacher talking to another about how being gay was wrong and that it was totally unnatural. he said that convo made him feel like he was dirty for not thinking girls were cute and wanting to "date" them like the other boys. he is afraid of other people knowing about it becuse he does not want to be ridiculed for how he feels. after he was done talking i told him that i did not care if he was gay and that as long as he is happpy then that was all that mattered. dad said the same. here is the problem. he is not happy being this way, he feels angry alot, because he can not just be like all the other boys. he feels he may have been slighted not by us as parents but by and i am quoting him, "What ever made him like this" i have tried to tell him it could be a phase, to which he promptly responds im pretty sure its not mom. so how do i help him with this. he gets into a lot of fights with the boys because they pick on him for being him. but he can not try being like them because he wants to be himself. i sorry if thisis confusing but i really want him to be comfortable as him. not someone pretending to be someonelse.........
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 20, 2013 at 2:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 20, 2013 at 2:12 PM
3 moms liked this
First of all good job for listening to him and taking him seriously. He is lucky to have you as a mom. Find him someone to talk to that specializes in helping kids with this. I am not sure what to tell you other than that . I think someone to help him understand his feelings and help him understand thw feelings of those around him....good luck!!
lunabella79
by Platinum Member on Oct. 20, 2013 at 2:13 PM
He needs to speak to a professional just to sort out all of his feelings and learn to accept himself the way he is.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 20, 2013 at 2:14 PM
1 mom liked this

Well, did he say he was attracted to boys?  I wouldn't call just not being attracted to girls gay.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 20, 2013 at 2:18 PM

 


Quoting Anonymous:

Well, did he say he was attracted to boys?  I wouldn't call just not being attracted to girls gay.


he did not say attracted to them just that he feels diffrent, when i asked him to explain he said it like when a boy likes a girl.

jayray51413
by Bronze Member on Oct. 20, 2013 at 2:19 PM
1 mom liked this
My brother was very angry like this because of the same reasons. He became happier when he came out and faced it all. He was older though. We had known he was gay for awhile before he actually cane out. He used to wish he was straight so he would be normal. He is completely himself now and he is happy with himself. Your son only being 11 makes coming out and all of that hard. He is lucky to have parents that don't care and love him no matter what. My parents are the same way with my brother but until your son comes to terms with himself it will only get worse. Maybe he should to talk to someone and become happy in his own skin and the rest will fall into place I would think.
kissmiss213
by Platinum Member on Oct. 20, 2013 at 2:20 PM

poor kid. what he needs to realize is that there are lots of other kids in his school that are also gay, they are just hiding it. chances are good that some of those bullying him are, and that is why they bully him, they are too afraid of it themselves. he needs to have support and love, and some place where he can go and hang out with people who will treat him as a person. and possibly taking him to a different school, where he wont get as bullied. but really look into support groups, and explain to him that being gay is NOT wrong, you cant help who you love. also, a LOT of gay people know that they are gay around 7-8...so him coming out at 12 only shows how much he trusts you guys.

unsuspected
by Gold Member on Oct. 20, 2013 at 2:24 PM

He's eleven!  He does NOT have to define his sexuality at this point in his young age.  Talk with the school about the bullying and pick up your Mama Bear claws becuase you have to protect him.  Keep the lines of communication open and keep him talking.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 20, 2013 at 2:27 PM

 


Quoting unsuspected:

He's eleven!  He does NOT have to define his sexuality at this point in his young age.  Talk with the school about the bullying and pick up your Mama Bear claws becuase you have to protect him.  Keep the lines of communication open and keep him talking.  


 yes i know he is only 11 but if i were to say honey you r only 11 you do not know how u feel, or exactly what you just said  you dont think l that might sound to him like it bothers me if he feels this way about himself???

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Oct. 20, 2013 at 2:29 PM

Does he want to "date" the boys instead of the girls, or is he just not interested in "dating" anyone. Because there is a difference. He shouldn't label himself until he knows which sex he is actually attracted to.

*Quotations around date because eleven year olds don't go on actual dates.

suzanneyea
by on Oct. 20, 2013 at 2:30 PM

I think it says a lot about you guys that he was able to tell you.

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