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I cant seem to get over this and its ruining my marriage

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

The day I gave birth to our daughter the nurses in L&D treated me horribly. At one point I took off all my clothes and attempted to change positions because the pain was excruciating,anyway at that time one of the nurses came over and told me to sit still and when I told her what I was trying to do she took me by the shoulders and slammed me backward into the bed. Then I sat back up and told her that wasnt okay. Just as this was going on the nurse (or whatever theyre called) who was supposed to be administering my epidural was wheeling her cart into the room but stopped at the door and told me if I didnt do what they said she was going to leave and not give me any pain medication. After that I did what they wanted and got my epidural. Immediately after our daughter was born a different nurse entered the room and stuck me in the leg with something before I even had a chance to ask what the hell it was! Also I am diabetic and from the time I checked in to the time our daughter was born (18 hours) they never checked my glucose levels. The part of this that is bothering me is that my husband was there the entire time and NEVER ONCE did he speak up or do a damn thing. I just dont respect him anymore or feel safe with him. I have lost any confidence I ever had in his ability to be a protector for me or our kids. The kicker is that was 4 years ago and I wonder if Ill ever get over it.

Edit: Okay so clearly some of you missed the point of this post which is my concern for my marriage. It would have been foolish to think everyone would believe me,so no I didnt come here believing that,or trying to spark a debate about L&D. I want to thank those of you who offered me kindness and better insight as to what my husband may have been feeling because sometimes understanding the other side of the coin helps us to forgive :) Aaaanyway Im not interested in entertaining the cruelty some of you seem to thrive on so I wont be back in this post,but Ill leave it up in case anyone else could use some of the links that were provided. GN (or morning) all.

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 21, 2013 at 12:12 AM
Replies (11-20):
LaughCryLive
by Emerald Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 12:25 AM
I didn't report the nurses because at that time I didn't know I could. Plus when women are feeling vulnerable like in cb it is easier to bully is.


Quoting sam12796:

 Why did you not report this when it happened? Requested different nurse? I am so sorry this happened. I thankfully had wonderful nurses who were very encouraging.


kaybayblee3
by Platinum Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 12:26 AM

 Did he ever give you a reason why not? Maybe he was afraid?

Jabojoe
by Ruby Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 12:26 AM
Eh you could be right. But after the experiences I had with nurses when my 12 year old dd had major surgery in a CHILDREN'S hospital no less, nothing would surprise me. Dd swears she will never ever set foot in any hospital ever again, not even if she's dying.


Quoting Anonymous:

I don't believe this for one second. You sound like a anti-hospital mom sharing a horror story to try to make hospitals and nurses sound terrible.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 21, 2013 at 12:26 AM

 

Quoting Anonymous:

I don't believe this for one second. You sound like a anti-hospital mom sharing a horror story to try to make hospitals and nurses sound terrible.

 Actually Im not anti hospital at all and several of my closest friends are nurses. I LOVED the OBGYN/specialist I saw during my pregnancy as well. My concern right now as I stated is my marriage. I couldnt care less about persuading anyone one way or another concerning their rights to birth however or wherever theyd like. Especially since I wont be having anymore children due to diabetes. Thanks for your response though!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Oct. 21, 2013 at 12:27 AM
It's not coincidental that code grays in hospitals are most often in L&D. Some women get all sorts of crazy while they are in labor. Im sure their is more to this than just your POV
Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Oct. 21, 2013 at 12:27 AM
2 moms liked this
Sounds to me like you didn't know what you wanted thereby making it difficult for your husband to know what was and wasn't ok. I think youre deflecting the blame for a bad birth experience to the last person the deserves it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 21, 2013 at 12:29 AM

 

Quoting kaybayblee3:

 Did he ever give you a reason why not? Maybe he was afraid?

 Yes our dd is his only biological child,so he had never witnessed a birth before and he says he didnt know that what they were doing was wrong. That makes me so mad because I always think to myself "It isnt rocket science and you dont have to have any experience to know that its not okay for someone to slam your pregnant wife backward!"

The.Last.Rebel
by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 12:31 AM

Agreed.

Quoting wickedfiress:

This and chances are your husband had no idea what was to be expected or that you remember the experience this way.

Quoting Amybelle:

I bet the other side of the story is MUCH different


Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Oct. 21, 2013 at 12:31 AM

Your DH probably didn't even know or realize how bothered you were by this. You should seriously just let it go...

Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on Oct. 21, 2013 at 12:32 AM
How is this his fault? I'm thinking that you were over reacting during the process and that was all they could do to control you. Stop being so dramatic. He didn't know what was happening.

Quoting Anonymous:

 


Quoting kaybayblee3:


 Did he ever give you a reason why not? Maybe he was afraid?


 Yes our dd is his only biological child,so he had never witnessed a birth before and he says he didnt know that what they were doing was wrong. That makes me so mad because I always think to myself "It isnt rocket science and you dont have to have any experience to know that its not okay for someone to slam your pregnant wife backward!"

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