Well let me start by saying: I'm am a SM. DH has custody of 14&15 yo girls. Well SDs have been going out to hang out with friends bonfires etc. the subject of BC came up. He decided they should get the shot. I talked to the 14 yo about it as the subject of boys etc came up. She was glad I talked with her about it as BM wouldn't ever approach the subject and basically left it at "Don't". If DH has she would have been uncomfortable with it.
That said, DH asked me to make them appointments and they have been told by DH that's not a "go off and have sex". We just know that things can happen (sometimes boys don't get 'NO is NO') and we know oldest was 15 living with their mom the first time. 14 yo has even told me about her friends being active. BM is pissed that I even talked to her about it. Maybe it wasn't "my place" but I love these girls, and I'm someone they Know they can be open and honest with without losing my temper(their mom has anger issues, reason why we took custody). I made sure that SD knows that BC isn't 100% and that even with conforms that its possible to get pregnant and talked about STDs.
BM is mad because they're "too young" but as DH pointed out he doesn't want them to have babies and he would think that someone who had gotten pregnant 2x as a teenager would understand. She says we shouldn't let them go out etc. ummm, no he saw what happened to his sister she was constantly sneaking out(ended up pregnant as a teen), and they would possibly skip school if we kept them home all the time.
I'm sorry but I've seen too much about pregnant teens, and I've heard too much.
I'm sure I will get bashed but I'm still posting this. I know BM is mad but really, we are thinking of the girls. We would like to keep their trust, something that BM has lost and will continue to work towards regaining. They know that we have their best interest in mind.
ETA: Ok after reading some of your posts, I have some things to say.
Yes, the girls HAVE A SAY. They we have talked about it. THEY KNOW its not to let them loose to have sex. And I'm sorry if it seemed ignorant to say boys just don't always get that 'no means NO' we don't want them to feel pressured in to doing it, and lets face it, it happens. When I was 15 I had a boy try to pressure me into it and didn't want to accept my NO. We HAVE discussed it.
Oh and when I'm saying that BM was pregnant, way to ASSume that it was my DH that knocked her up! He met her when SD was 2 and already had an abortion when she was 15(he adopted SD bc he's her only DAD she's ever had!)
They want to try the shot because they don't want to worry about pills every day. They are informed that it is NOT something to do for years on end as it could mess up their reproduction. We have discussed that if they start having problems (weight gain, depression etc) then we Will stop their shots. Everybody has different reactions to any medication. I got pregnant on the pill. They also know condoms are NOT 100% against STDs or pregnancy and that even with the morning after pill it can still happen. We are NOT forcing them to do it. We have discussed it for quite some time. My oldest SD is 19 and has been on the shot and complete supports it too. She was even insistent that both should have some sort of bc because she's well aware of what can happen.
Thank you to those that are not so quick to judge and are supportive. I knew that there was going to be some bashing, always seems to be when a SM posts something regarding things like this.
We will talk more with the Doctor when we go. Most likely, we will let them do the shot for a little while then when they are more likely to remember their pills they can switch to those (they're reasoning too)
I love these girls and I want them to be taken care of, I will have the same discussions with My DD when she is older too.