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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Spanking

Posted by on Oct. 22, 2013 at 7:54 PM
  • 16 Replies

     The post about corporal punishment suprised me.  The responses of the number of people who spank their kid suprised me I have lost my temper a couple time and hit my child but it has been years and I do not believe in it.  I think it sends the message that hitting is an acceptable way to solve problems.  I try not to yell also.  Of course I am not always successful and my husband disagrees but the calmer I stay the happier I am.  Has anyone read Peaceful Parents Happy Children by Laura Markeim (i think thats her name)  Not saying my way is superior I was just suprised.

by on Oct. 22, 2013 at 7:54 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Oct. 22, 2013 at 7:54 PM
4 moms liked this

olivia_benson
by on Oct. 22, 2013 at 7:55 PM

Well I believe it is wrong to hit out of anger rather than spanking as a teaching mechanism.

 

IandLoveandYou
by Penny Lane on Oct. 22, 2013 at 7:55 PM
Just once I want a kinky spanking post.

Hmph.
Leigh84
by Silver Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 7:56 PM
That's good for you but you can't force your opinion on others
ceckyl
by Gold Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 7:59 PM


And what does it teach?  To be afraid of being hit by people who are supposed to love and protect you?

Quoting olivia_benson:

Well I believe it is wrong to hit out of anger rather than spanking as a teaching mechanism.




philipmommy4834
by Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 8:00 PM

I am not trying to force my opinion on others.  Why can you not state your opinion without other people getting offended?

olivia_benson
by on Oct. 22, 2013 at 8:01 PM

When I was a child and was told not to touch a stove and I did, it burned me. I thought that I don't want to do that again. I wasn't afraid of the stove; I just knew grabbing the burner was wrong.


Quoting ceckyl:

 

And what does it teach?  To be afraid of being hit by people who are supposed to love and protect you?

Quoting olivia_benson:

Well I believe it is wrong to hit out of anger rather than spanking as a teaching mechanism.

 

 

 


 

olivia_benson
by on Oct. 22, 2013 at 8:02 PM

 Fuck them.

I may not agree with you, but it's stupid to get offended by someone's opinion. Don't worry about it. :)


Quoting philipmommy4834:

I am not trying to force my opinion on others.  Why can you not state your opinion without other people getting offended?


 

philipmommy4834
by Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 8:03 PM

Research on Spanking: It’s Bad For ALL Kids

Hitting children undermines wellbeing in the longterm.

In a new article, “Spanking and Child Development: We Know Enough Now to Stop Hitting Our Children,” Elizabeth Gershoff reviews recent research on spanking.

Spanking is defined by Gershoff as “hitting a child on the bottom with an open hand” (p. 133).

Parents use spanking generally in order to reduce undesirable behavior and increase desirable behavior but because it is targeted toward an undesirable behavior can only possibly meet the first parenting goal. But does it work? 

Researchers have looked at effects on three undesirable behaviors in children who are spanked: non-compliance in the short term, non-compliance in the long term, and aggression.  This area is hard to study in the home because spanking rarely occurs at all nor in front of strangers. It is hard to study in the laboratory because of the prohibition against hurting subjects.

Nevertheless, some studies have been done. In one set of analyses with young children in the laboratory, time outs worked just as well as spanking for (immediate) subsequent compliance on 30 tasks assigned by the mother. Long-term compliance is decreased after spanking (Gershoff, 2002; Gershoff & Grogan-Kaylor, 2013).

In terms of whether parental aggression (spanking) decreases aggression in the child, the answer is no. In fact, spanking tends to increase child aggression. “Spanking predicted increases in children’s aggression over and above initial levels [of aggressive behavior]” and “in none of these longitudinal studies did spanking predict reductions in children’s aggression over time” (p. 134). Instead, spanking predicted increases in children’s aggression. 

Why is spanking ineffective for changing behavior in the longterm? 

Approaching this from a behaviorist perspective, conditioning by punishment (pain) requires that the consequence always occur immediately after every instance. When you touch a hot stove with a bare hand, you get burned, period. This does not occur with the behaviors parents spank for—parents are often not around to see them or are not willing or able to spank immediately afterwards.

Why is spanking ineffective for increasing desirable behavior?

Spanking does not convey positive guidance on how to behave in a particular situation, only how not to behave if a threat of punishment is at hand. Children learn positive behaviors from practicing actions that work, ones that lead to a sense of belonging and competence. They internalize what they practice and what their family practices. They learn reasons for their actions from what they hear and are told, but active practice has the deepest impact.

Why else is spanking harmful?

It destroys trust. Children trust their parents just a little less. They build a self-protective shield around themselves in terms of relationships generally. Children increasingly mistrust the motives of others and become a more threat reactive. It leads to aggressive expectations—they are ready to aggress first before they are aggressed against.

Spanking is harmful for even more reasons, the review indicates:

  • Spanking destroys mental health.
  • Spanking increases delinquency and criminal behavior.
  • Spanking makes it more likely the child will be physically abused.

Does the ethnicity or culture of the family matter?

No. Longitudinal studies show that spanking increases aggression in any child, no matter what their background or what the common practices of their community are (see Berlin et al., 2009; Gershoff et al., 2012).

How to stop using spanking

If you are a parent, or plan to be a parent, who wants to learn to not use spanking, HERE is a place for resources to help you.

More information: Check out a fellow blogger's post on how spanking harms the brain and more HERE.

 

NOTE on BASIC ASSUMPTIONS: When I write about parenting, I assume the importance of the evolved developmental niche (EDN) for raising human infants (which initially arose over 30 million years ago with the emergence of the social mammals and has been slightly altered among human groups based on anthropological research).

The EDN is the baseline I use for determining what fosters optimal human health, wellbeing and compassionate morality. The niche includes at least the following: infant-initiated breastfeeding for several years, nearly constant touch, responsiveness to needs so the young child does not get distressed, playful companionship, multiple adult caregivers, positive social support, and natural childbirth.

All these characteristics are linked to health in mammalian and human studies (see Narvaez, Panksepp, Schore & Gleason, 2013, for a review.) Thus, shifts away from the EDN baseline are risky. My comments and posts stem from these basic assumptions.

jesusyangela
by Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 8:05 PM
I agree spanking out of anger is wrong. however i do spank and spanking is used as a teaching tool
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