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At my wits end with daughter- help!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
My daughter is 6 years old and will not listen to a word I say to her. Every night bedtime is a disaster, I wake up every morning dreading bedtime. She says she is scared of the dark and when I try to make her sleep in her own room she screams, kicks the wall, hits me, etc.
I have tried everything I can possibly think of, she has a lamp, 2 night lights and I leave the hallway light on so it's definitely not dark in her room. I read her a bedtime story, I have sat in her room with her with her until she falls asleep and on the extremely rare occasion that she does fall asleep in there, she does stay in there all night but that's only happened 2 times in the past year. I can't do this anymore. Someone please give me some advice.
I have tried talking to her and tried finding out the reason she is scared but she says she doesn't know.
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 22, 2013 at 9:12 PM
Replies (81-87):
by on Oct. 23, 2013 at 6:50 AM

I need my sleep. I just let them sleep in my bed if they are scared.

by LMAO on Oct. 23, 2013 at 8:02 AM

Wow, my stance doesn't change either. It's not ok for 6 year old to kick her mom because she doesn't want to go to bed. Guess we're just not going to see eye to eye on this one. 

Quoting Anonymous:

My stance doesn't change. Fact is you would be spanking them bc they are freaking out over a fear. Not ok.

But the fact that you have to resort to name calling speaks volumes about you so I'm not surprised you would spank a child who didn't purposefully kick you.

Quoting vegaswife2011:

Lmao. My 1st reply to OP was to sleep with her. Again, yes, if my kid kicked me I'd spank then. Go read it again, you've got it wrong dummy. 

Quoting Anonymous:

 If you can't grasp that then maybe you should read the conversation you just had until you can grasp it.

Take things to the extreme & spanking for a fear, yes you give those who spank a bad name.

Quoting vegaswife2011:

Lmao. Wtf, and how do you get that out of what I said? 

Quoting Anonymous:

 And you are why people think horribly of those of us who spank.

Quoting vegaswife2011:

I can no longer argue about this. I mean what I said and I'm out :)

Quoting Anonymous:

 Who said it was a dungeon?

I have a fear of being locked in somewhere, doesn't matter where but chances are I will freak & kick someone on accident.

My dad use to pin me down, my DH didn't know that & wrestling around he pinned me & I lashed out & kneed him & punched him. 

When there is a fear you don't always control yourself.

Quoting vegaswife2011:

Lol, wow! It's her bedroom not a  dungen!. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Yeah bc I'm sure the child does it on purpose.

It is fear as mom keeps her in a room. I picture a child flailing around and accidentally kicking mom or trying to push mom away as mom is forcing her to stay somewhere she's terrified of.

Quoting vegaswife2011:

If my kid kicked me, I'd spank her ass. OP said she kicks her..

Quoting Anonymous:

I spank when appropriate this is not an appropriate reason.

Quoting vegaswife2011:

Lol, you're my kind of girl! :) 

Quoting EvaTheDiva2:

Ass whoopin

by Ruby Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 8:08 AM

She isn't scared of the dark, she wants her own way, and she is playing you like a fiddle. I was waiting to read where you stopped coddling her and put your foot down, especially after reading she hits and kicks,  but you never did. I recommend you do that. You are the parent. Act like it, and don't allow her to get away with this crap any longer. I think the advice to give her an ass whooping is pretty right on. Her behavior is completely unacceptable.

by Bronze Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 8:13 AM

 My dd was the same way for awhile. I at first had a toddler bed beside my bed and she had to lay down at night in HER bed. She wasn't allowed to get into bed with me. THen I got her where her bed time was earlier than mine so she had to sleep in my room without me in it for comfort. After a few weeks of that I moved her toddler bed into her room and read her a story then she had to lay down. I would return every 5 mins and let her know I would check on her again in another 5 till she was asleep. DON'T forget every 5 mins checko n her and let her know it! WHen she gets used to that, do 10, 15, you get the idea. Also never hurts to get some type of comfort toy. If she doesn't have one already, buy her one and tell her a story at bedtime about how it stays awake all night to keep her safe. And to make sure she is okay. Hope something out of that helps you!

IF you don't have a small bed just make her a pallet in your floor beside your bed. Sorry for the typos..

by Platinum Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 8:16 AM

I wish I had advice on this one. My daughter has night terrors and is a sleep walker so its not safe for us to push this issue. How close is her room to yours? Or daughter's room is directly across the hall from us and we had to arrange the furniture so that we can see each others beds through the door. On bad nights I have to just sleep in her room.Maybe you could try walkie talkies so she can talk to you right away if she gets scared. That direct link to you might help.

by Gold Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 8:21 AM
I did not read all the replies, and so this may have been suggested already. Have you tried a sound machine? I got one at Wal-Mart that has six different ones, and it comes in handy when I cannot use my fan. The one I have uses batteries as well as electricity, has six different sounds, and there is an optional timer on it.
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by Platinum Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 8:53 AM
Dream light, or a cool night light like we have. It projects a fish bowl on the wall :) She loved her dream light until my sister got her the new night light on her birthday :)
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