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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

*Edit in Red* How do you know when your child needs to move up a grade in school?

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 Dd is in 1st grade. By the end of the year they should be reading 54 words per minute. She reads 91 words per minute.

I volunteer in her class, so I have worked with all the kids and she does seem to be advanced. She is just, IDk SO BORED there, she can't stand it. She hates the books she has to read for homework because they are so easy and repetitive and complains that she feels like she's in kindergarten again b/c it's all the same stuff, and she already knows it. Since she is struggling with being unhappy in school and not wanting to go everyday, I'm just kinda trying to think of possible solutions.

 I don't even know if this would be an option, just wanted to hear other mom's experiences.

 It's to the point that I am considering homeschooling so that she can go at her own individual pace. I did that with my older two kids. After a few years they wanted to go back to public school, and they did. The transition was a little hard at first, but now they are in high school and are both straight A students, and very advanced.

 Thanks:)

Thank you all for the advice! It has really helped me. I haven't even talked to her teacher yet but your comments have given me some really good things to consider:) After reading all of this, I'm not sure that moving her up, if that were an option is a good idea at all. Hopefully the school will have some alternatives. I just want her to enjoy learning, like she used to.

 To the ladies who said my dd is basically immature b/c it's a struggle to get her to do her busy work homework, are you kidding me? She sits in school for 6 hours a day. Would you expect a 6 year old to be all happy about coming home and then having more boring work to do? She used to LOVE to read and now she hates it, because the books are stupid.

 "Cat likes to eat. Cat likes to eat fish." bla bla bla

It's not like I don't try to supplement her reading with subjects she likes. She just hates that particular homework, and she has to do it. That hardly means she is immature.

 Anyway, thanks again everyone:)

by on Oct. 22, 2013 at 9:53 PM
Replies (31-40):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Oct. 22, 2013 at 11:03 PM
It is the beginning of the year still in the schools eye. Most of the material is review so should be easy. Also they should level out the children for reading and she will have different materials. This would depend on the school but most do. Also she may read well but it is also about comprehension and discussion not just words per minute.
JoanahLee
by Gold Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 11:04 PM
1 mom liked this

I say kids are ready to move up to the next grade when they finish the school year and the next year rolls around. 

You can supplement what shes doing at school, send in harder books for her to read during reading time and talk to the teacher about helping her find some more challenging individual work, but the school system is not designed for those who excel or those who fall behind.  Our school system is designed for the majority who fall in the middle, can follow rules and survive as a member of a pack.  

If you have the time, availability and resources to be so invested in your daughters education, homeschooling may be a good choice for you and for her, but there is only so much a school system can offer kids, and skipping them up and up into higher grades is only going to solve as many problems as it creates for her. 

JackieGirl007
by on Oct. 22, 2013 at 11:06 PM

 I used the words per minute as just an example. She really is bored. I hope it gets harder/more challenging as we go because this just isn't working.

Quoting Anonymous:

It is the beginning of the year still in the schools eye. Most of the material is review so should be easy. Also they should level out the children for reading and she will have different materials. This would depend on the school but most do. Also she may read well but it is also about comprehension and discussion not just words per minute.


JackieGirl007
by on Oct. 22, 2013 at 11:17 PM

 You are so right about the school system. What problems do you feel occur with skipping grades?

Quoting JoanahLee:

I say kids are ready to move up to the next grade when they finish the school year and the next year rolls around. 

You can supplement what shes doing at school, send in harder books for her to read during reading time and talk to the teacher about helping her find some more challenging individual work, but the school system is not designed for those who excel or those who fall behind.  Our school system is designed for the majority who fall in the middle, can follow rules and survive as a member of a pack.  

If you have the time, availability and resources to be so invested in your daughters education, homeschooling may be a good choice for you and for her, but there is only so much a school system can offer kids, and skipping them up and up into higher grades is only going to solve as many problems as it creates for her. 


JoanahLee
by Gold Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 11:28 PM

Mostly social.  Kids are fing mean, especially in under supervised packs at at school.  They often target the youngest, smallest kid.  Especially if the youngest, smallest kid thinks she knows everything because she was too smart for first grade.  Even if she doesnt have that attitude, other kids will probably slap that on her anyway.   

In the younger grades I feel like thats the bulk of it...being on the receiving end of teasing.  As she gets older (and skips ahead as she passes her classmates again?) she will be at a disadvantage in sports, and might not be allowed to play at all... some activities have minimum age requirements, and if your child has skipped two or three grades, they might not be old enough to play.  Regardless of her reading level, her frontal lobe is taking its sweet, age appropriate, time to develop.  If she skips two grades by the time shes 11 (and why do it if you are dead set on only using this solution once?) it is not improbable that she could have grade level peers who are 14 or 15.  Do you want your 11 year old to have 14 year old BFF's?  Go to sleep overs with 15 year olds?  Have her behavior influenced by them?  After being excluded for being too young in earlier grades she will probably be desperate for the other kids to like her... that could be a bad combination. 

Im not saying that the OPs child will do or experience all of these things, but as I said before, the school system is designed to move homogeneous groups of youth through a pre determined system.  When someone falls outside that homogeny, weather it be because they are delayed, are too far ahead, or quite a bit younger or older than their peers they are going to have problems fitting into the system.  

Quoting JackieGirl007:

 You are so right about the school system. What problems do you feel occur with skipping grades?

Quoting JoanahLee:

I say kids are ready to move up to the next grade when they finish the school year and the next year rolls around. 

You can supplement what shes doing at school, send in harder books for her to read during reading time and talk to the teacher about helping her find some more challenging individual work, but the school system is not designed for those who excel or those who fall behind.  Our school system is designed for the majority who fall in the middle, can follow rules and survive as a member of a pack.  

If you have the time, availability and resources to be so invested in your daughters education, homeschooling may be a good choice for you and for her, but there is only so much a school system can offer kids, and skipping them up and up into higher grades is only going to solve as many problems as it creates for her. 



Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Oct. 22, 2013 at 11:29 PM
Well how is she in other subjects? It's not just about reading
JackieGirl007
by on Oct. 22, 2013 at 11:36 PM

 Awesome. Her teacher told me she is already doing multiplication in math. She asked me how she knew this, and it's just because of her older siblings IMO. So it's not just reading.

Quoting Anonymous:

Well how is she in other subjects? It's not just about reading


JackieGirl007
by on Oct. 22, 2013 at 11:37 PM

 Good points. I wouldn't want her skipping too far ahead.

Quoting JoanahLee:

Mostly social.  Kids are fing mean, especially in under supervised packs at at school.  They often target the youngest, smallest kid.  Especially if the youngest, smallest kid thinks she knows everything because she was too smart for first grade.  Even if she doesnt have that attitude, other kids will probably slap that on her anyway.   

In the younger grades I feel like thats the bulk of it...being on the receiving end of teasing.  As she gets older (and skips ahead as she passes her classmates again?) she will be at a disadvantage in sports, and might not be allowed to play at all... some activities have minimum age requirements, and if your child has skipped two or three grades, they might not be old enough to play.  Regardless of her reading level, her frontal lobe is taking its sweet, age appropriate, time to develop.  If she skips two grades by the time shes 11 (and why do it if you are dead set on only using this solution once?) it is not improbable that she could have grade level peers who are 14 or 15.  Do you want your 11 year old to have 14 year old BFF's?  Go to sleep overs with 15 year olds?  Have her behavior influenced by them?  After being excluded for being too young in earlier grades she will probably be desperate for the other kids to like her... that could be a bad combination. 

Im not saying that the OPs child will do or experience all of these things, but as I said before, the school system is designed to move homogeneous groups of youth through a pre determined system.  When someone falls outside that homogeny, weather it be because they are delayed, are too far ahead, or quite a bit younger or older than their peers they are going to have problems fitting into the system.  

Quoting JackieGirl007:

 You are so right about the school system. What problems do you feel occur with skipping grades?

Quoting JoanahLee:

I say kids are ready to move up to the next grade when they finish the school year and the next year rolls around. 

You can supplement what shes doing at school, send in harder books for her to read during reading time and talk to the teacher about helping her find some more challenging individual work, but the school system is not designed for those who excel or those who fall behind.  Our school system is designed for the majority who fall in the middle, can follow rules and survive as a member of a pack.  

If you have the time, availability and resources to be so invested in your daughters education, homeschooling may be a good choice for you and for her, but there is only so much a school system can offer kids, and skipping them up and up into higher grades is only going to solve as many problems as it creates for her. 




Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Oct. 22, 2013 at 11:40 PM
My sons 1st grade teacher taught multiplication...my son is at a 5-6 grade level in math and about 8th in reading and comprehension...even with that I wouldn't move him up...I just make sure I have stuff at home for him and his teacher makes sure he gets more challenging stuff as well


Quoting JackieGirl007:

 Awesome. Her teacher told me she is already doing multiplication in math. She asked me how she knew this, and it's just because of her older siblings IMO. So it's not just reading.

Quoting Anonymous:

Well how is she in other subjects? It's not just about reading



dawncs
by on Oct. 22, 2013 at 11:45 PM
1 mom liked this

Have you thought of seeing if the teacher will change her reading group? Have you thought of testing her for the gifted program at school? You might also want to encourage her to chose her own books to read on her own to encourage reading. Tell her now is the time to realy read and explore books on your own since you will not have the same opportunity when you are in middle school or high school.

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