and I'm thrilled. My 17 year old Stepdd that is.
When I met their dad 8 years ago he was working on getting custody of them, because their mom was being abusive towards them, and mainly negligent. She was the youngest at 9 years old, her siblings were 14 and 12. He got custody. The oldest still lives with us and the middle daughter has since moved out.
We moved away to Florida to help my DH's parents out (we're from Indiana) when SDD was 13. She didn't want to come, and she was starting to have a decent relationship with her mother. So she begged to stay with her mom, and we regretfully agreed to it. Everything seemingly was going well until the summer before last. All of the sudden her mom shipped her down to Florida to "visit" and then refused to let her come back. Best thing EVER in my opinion, but it was hard for SDD, because once again she her mom refuses to have anything to do with her, same as when we first took custody of the kids. That hurts a kids in so many ways.
We we decided to come back up to Indiana for various reasons. While she lived with her mom she flunked her 8th and 9th grade years basically. When she lived with us she got all A's and B's even though she had an IEP, she did well with us.
Problem was that she was now so far behind she would never graduate on time, and as much as I tried to help her she still wasn't earning credits. We talked to the school she was now attending and they recommended a program that was held at the school district her mom lived in. Problem, we would have to pay tuition because her mom refused to take her back (which is what sdd wanted, because who doesn't want their mom to just love them) and we wouldn't have let her move there anyways after everything that's happened.
So, this school is 70 miles away from us. Her best friend's mom offered up their home and said she was welcome to "live" with them and go to this accelerated school, her daughter goes there as well. We begrudgingly agreed because we want her to graduate, and will do whatever it takes. They are good people, and we trust them, so that part was ok, it's just hard leaving your child with someone else, but we felt it was in SDD's best interests.
She has done well there. She started in August with 12 credits. She currently has 47, and the include all of her required classes, she's just down to getting "filler credits" for electives. She can do those at a regular highschool at a regular pace, so we were considering making her come back, but she is doing well there and really wanted to stay. She is 17 after all. So the discussion, for the moment, was pushed on the back burner, but still on the table.
She just came and stayed with us this passed weekend. Every thing still seemed to be going well, only gripes she had were the usual about her mom and what a jerk she is any time SDD tries to contact her. Sadly that is just the norm anymore.
I took her back Sunday night, even though her dad offered to let her stay home Monday and spend the another night with us, she wanted to go back, so I took her.
She calls us tonight almost in a panic that she wants to come home, she's ready to come back, saying that there is no real reason, but she wants us to come get her NOW! Problem is DH blew the tire on our vehicle on his way home from work and has the little donut tire on there until morning. (He's taking tomorrow off to drive two hours away to see his dying aunt) and stepson has our other vehicle and wont be off work until 11. We have no way to get the keys off of him to swap vehicles and dh doesn't want to drive 140 miles round trip on a donut tire on a crappy rainy/snowy night.
Here's where the part that bothers me comes in.
We've both tried to get out of her what is wrong, all she will say is that she isn't ready to talk about it, but will when she's ready. Ok, I can understand but what is it. It's eating at me, and dh.
Dh called and talked to the lady that she is staying with. She says she is distant lately, but she hasn't been home a lot because her mother is dying and she has spent a lot of time with her. Completely understandable. She says she knows that SDD is a little ticked at her too because she caught SDD in some lies (which was unlike her until she went to live with her mom, she's still a really good kid, but isn't the same) and called her on them...but that was a couple weeks ago. We're all at a loss and she wont say anything.
I know she isn't pregnant. I just took her last week to have the type of birth control put in where it's inserted in your arm underneath the skin (the name evades me at the moment), to help her regulate her periods, and they took a pregnancy test before inserting it.
Something changed between Sunday night and Tuesday afternoon.
The scariest thing keeps coming to mind, because I've been there at her age. Rape.
But there could be so many other things going on too, it could be something that happened with her mom, it could be that she is just homesick, it could be a lot of things. She does have a tendancy to be over dramatic about smaller things, because when your a teen your small issues seem like the end of the world, right?
My mind and heart are racing, she is ok, in a safe place tonight, and dh is getting her in the morning as soon as he gets new tires on our vehicle. She does have a history of anxiety, panic attacks and depression ever since she came back from living with her mom, which she is on medication for.
I just needed to get it off my chest. I'm worried about her, and more so worried because she doesn't want to talk about it.