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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I'm hurting because she's hurting.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 14 Replies

My SD12 who I am CSM of was looking as if she needed to talk today. She was all in my business, drawing with a stick outside- the tell tale signs of when she needs to get something off of her chest.

I told her to come on and have a seat on my lap. How is school, do you have a crush, are your friendships intact etc...Everything was fine. SHe recently got her ipod taken away for bad behavior so I asked/told her- "I know you and you're mommy really only comminicate with text- are you missing that because your ipod was taken away? Because you can and should use MY phone to say hi to her, talk to her." She said "no, my mom hardly texts me anyways, I would feel weird calling her, we don't talk on the phone."

I told her ok but she's welcome too if she wants. 

She starts tearing up. I ask her what's wrong. She says "I'm not supposed to tell you." I told her there is NOTHING that you can't tell me, no one in our family should have anything to hide." So she tells me that while visiting my MIL her mom called and told her that she has a warant for her arrest, (not her fault of course .__.) and just wanted to let her know but not to tell DH and I because we would stop letting her visit or something."

SD has been holding this inside for months. Is this too heavy of stuff to be telling her child?

Her rights are terminated, I think she just wants pity from SD.

Am I wrong for being upset that she unloaded this shit onto my SD??  

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 23, 2013 at 12:14 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 23, 2013 at 12:17 AM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 23, 2013 at 12:18 AM

This is not something she should have dumped on your sd then told her not to say anything.  GRRRRRRRRRRR

bluebunnybabe
by Ruby Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 12:19 AM
How awful that she put that on her. Glad you guys have custody at least. All you can do is be there for her.
Supervane
by Ruby Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 12:20 AM
It was wrong of her to tell her and make her keep it a secret.
JackieGirl007
by Ruby Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 12:23 AM

 Stupid biomom. Yeah that was wrong. She needs to grow up.

I hope your sd feels better, glad she has you.

DevinAnnesmom
by Sarah on Oct. 23, 2013 at 12:23 AM
That was wrong of her to tell your sd and make her keep it a secret. It seems very manipulative to me.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 23, 2013 at 12:26 AM

She has done this in the past too- written letter from prison for other family members to give to SD. Yes- she all of a sudden becomes a remorseful mom when she gets locked up. I didn't understand the point in that either- she rarely sees SD as it is but still felt the need to write her from prison.

Somtimes I wonder why we still allow contact.

momof2891
by Gold Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 12:26 AM
Oh my! She should not have told your sdd that!! And she certainly should not have told her to keep it a secret. What are y'all going to do? Will you still let her visit her birth mom? I would be afraid that birth mom would be arrested while sdd is with her which would be extremely traumatic for a 12 yo!! I had to have my birth father arrested when I was 16 because he was high as a kite and tried to run his girlfriend over with their SUV. We haven't had a good relationship since. Good luck and please update when y'all decide what to do!!
Melissa_4
by Ruby Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 12:27 AM

She's 12, not 2.  She has a right to know these things.  If her mother's rights were terminated, why is she still in communication with the girl?  Clearly, she's not the best choice to raise the girl.

I feel bad for your SD.  No child should have to bear that burden of knowing a parent has a warrant out for their arrest, and not be able to talk to anyone about it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 23, 2013 at 12:27 AM

She shouldn't have told her not to keep something like that from you guys. I hate it when kids are put in positions like that.

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