I have a eight year old sd and I love her more than anything, just as much as I love my 3yr old biological daughter, but her mother has made her into such a baby. She doesnt know how to tie her shoes, she doesnt even know which shoe goes on which foot. She doesn't know how to ride a bike, can't swim, doesnt know how to wash her body in the tub i have to tell her step-by-step instructions. She refuses to make her own plate and she only likes to eat mashed potatoes, mashed sweet potatoes, bread, strawberries, and of course all manner of fast food and junk that you could imagine.
I have tried and worked so hard with her to help her gain some measure of independence but I feel like I keep going backwards. For example today she came over after school (we live in the same neighborhood as dsd and her mom) and she asked me for something to drink, I asked her if she would like water and she nodded. I had her go get a plastic cup (they are on a easily accessible shelf in the pantry) and then showed her how to get water from the fridge door. She was so excited that she did it herself but then she told me that her mom doesnt let her do it because she might get hurt. To clarify we have a fridge that has an ice machine and filtered water on the door. So she's not opening any doors or lifting any heavy objects.
Last weekend when she was here we went to my nephews football game and the entire time she was crying over a stalk of grass touching her and no I am NOT exaggerating. Her mom carries her everywhere. When she came to get her she carried her to the car and put her in, she says at home she isnt allowed to walk on the tile.
What the hell. How does her mom expect her to grow up when they treat her like she's an infant. Hell our three year old can do more than she can!