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Questions? Need advice? :)

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Alright ladies, I want to take on a few questions... I have my 4 year BA of psychology, and I'm now getting my masters in marriage and family therapy. 

I soon want to open up my own clinic, please, let me know if you need any advice or want to ask me a question and see if I can help!

Thanks :D Hope I can help some of you.. 

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 23, 2013 at 11:08 PM
Replies (51-59):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 24, 2013 at 1:16 AM

I hope you can help me...!! The past two years I've had several affairs with married men- this last one has gone on almost a year. I've also done numerous online things with men. I feel like I'm addicted to the excitement, but I want to stop now. 

I was married young, at 19, I was mentally and physically abused the last half of my childhood by my step dad. I don't know if anything is related. My husband was emotionally unavailable to me and worked such long hours, I felt alone in my marriage. He's since quit his job due to an illness, and we are closer now, but I still can't seem to give up all my activities. I'm afraid I'm going to get caught and blow my family up... What can I do to quit it all?

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 24, 2013 at 1:18 AM

I have children with mu husband.


Quoting Anonymous:

You are having an emotional affair, and it isn't fair to your husband. You read those vows, and promised to be faithful, truthful, etc. Go and talk to your husband about it, and if he leaves you, so be it. At least you were honest with him and yourself. You can't live like that. It isn't fair to you, your daughter, or the men in your life. Be 100% honest with yourself, him, and the ex. Why aren't you ready to leave?


Quoting Anonymous:

I don't just yet. If I tell my husband, he will leave me and I'm not sure if I want to get divorced yet. My daughters father already knows how I feel. The women on cafe mom said I'm having an emotional affair. I don't know what to do.


Quoting Anonymous:

Best thing you can do is be completely honest with both of them. Do you want to leave your husband?


Quoting Anonymous:

I love my daughters father more than I love my husband. What should I do? 









Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 24, 2013 at 1:21 AM

Well, there must have been an event in his life to make him so jealous, insecure, etc. How many times a week do you have sex? How many times would he like? 

My advice to you, is once every 2 weeks, surprise him with sex. YOU initiate it. Give him kisses and hugs every day in the morning, and at night. Go out on a date 2 - 4 times a month, whether it be to the movies, dinner, a walk, etc. Anything, just you and him time. Just show him that you care, and that he is the only one you want.

And of course, if he's getting too clingy/jealous/etc. sit him down and talk to him. Let him know exactly what you're feeling. Honesty is really the best policy.  

Quoting Anonymous:

I did ask him today, if I would of given him a big ol hug and kiss last night when I came back into the room, would he of been ok? Would he of believed that I wasn't on the phone. He says yes, I said and if I was on the phone then what? I just don't get it b/c he's always so good to me.

Quoting Anonymous:

Yes, he wants all the above. Which I don't mind, really I don't, but he gets mad when I don't initiate sex. But we have it so often I've explained, it's hard to be in the mood more than that. But it's not just that, it's like he needs me with him, I mean I know he loves me. I love him too more than anyone I've loved before. And NO, I've never broken the trust or have I done anything to break it. We just argued about this last week. I don't know how to fix him being so clingy and him thinking he's being ignored



Quoting Anonymous:

No, I don't think you were wrong. 

Why is he so jealous? Did you do something to break his trust?
What does he want at night? Some attention, sex, cuddling?   



Quoting Anonymous:

Ok my turn please:)


My husband is getting upset with me b/c he thinks I'm ignoring him at night, is he right?


This has happened enough to make us argue a couple day's at a time.


I've been on a med that makes it difficult to go to the restroom(tmi) I know. So I've been taking something at night to fix this:) which means I must run to the girl's room at anytime. So lastnight I was in the bathroom a half hr he says. He thought he heard me talking on the phone in private on the other end of the house. I was not talking on my phone at all to anyone. I came back to our room when I was done and knew he might be upset because I was in bathroom to long. Sure enough, and because he thought I was talking privately also. So instead of having an argument about nothing, I decided not to talk. Something I do when I see an argument forming.


I think he's jealous or something or doesn't trust me. He often thinks I'm ignoring him when he doesn't have my full undivided attention while we're both in the house.....


Is it me?







Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 24, 2013 at 1:38 AM
Great advice and I'll take it:) I will try and make it appoint to initiate every couple weeks! We have sex on average about 3-4 times a week. I'm not sure how much more he would want it....And I think his last relationship damaged him emotionally for quite some time. They were horrible for each other. They just brought the worst out in each other. She's a very difficult person to get along with. She's also been an issue even after us being married. We have an appointment with his attorney for that one.
He gets upset with me about this then says if I really cared about his feelings I would fix this. I feel like I need to make sure his emotional needs are met every day. It's exhausting sometimes. Why does he need constant reassurance from me like that all of the time and can this be fixed?

Quoting Anonymous:

Well, there must have been an event in his life to make him so jealous, insecure, etc. How many times a week do you have sex? How many times would he like? 

My advice to you, is once every 2 weeks, surprise him with sex. YOU initiate it. Give him kisses and hugs every day in the morning, and at night. Go out on a date 2 - 4 times a month, whether it be to the movies, dinner, a walk, etc. Anything, just you and him time. Just show him that you care, and that he is the only one you want.

And of course, if he's getting too clingy/jealous/etc. sit him down and talk to him. Let him know exactly what you're feeling. Honesty is really the best policy.  


Quoting Anonymous:

I did ask him today, if I would of given him a big ol hug and kiss last night when I came back into the room, would he of been ok? Would he of believed that I wasn't on the phone. He says yes, I said and if I was on the phone then what? I just don't get it b/c he's always so good to me.



Quoting Anonymous:

Yes, he wants all the above. Which I don't mind, really I don't, but he gets mad when I don't initiate sex. But we have it so often I've explained, it's hard to be in the mood more than that. But it's not just that, it's like he needs me with him, I mean I know he loves me. I love him too more than anyone I've loved before. And NO, I've never broken the trust or have I done anything to break it. We just argued about this last week. I don't know how to fix him being so clingy and him thinking he's being ignored





Quoting Anonymous:

No, I don't think you were wrong. 

Why is he so jealous? Did you do something to break his trust?
What does he want at night? Some attention, sex, cuddling?   




Quoting Anonymous:

Ok my turn please:)



My husband is getting upset with me b/c he thinks I'm ignoring him at night, is he right?



This has happened enough to make us argue a couple day's at a time.



I've been on a med that makes it difficult to go to the restroom(tmi) I know. So I've been taking something at night to fix this:) which means I must run to the girl's room at anytime. So lastnight I was in the bathroom a half hr he says. He thought he heard me talking on the phone in private on the other end of the house. I was not talking on my phone at all to anyone. I came back to our room when I was done and knew he might be upset because I was in bathroom to long. Sure enough, and because he thought I was talking privately also. So instead of having an argument about nothing, I decided not to talk. Something I do when I see an argument forming.



I think he's jealous or something or doesn't trust me. He often thinks I'm ignoring him when he doesn't have my full undivided attention while we're both in the house.....



Is it me?









Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 24, 2013 at 4:58 AM
Yes, he is very mentally and emotionally abusive its like he says things to hurt me on purpose. I didnt mention before that I was on my way to school and it was my third day . He was suppose to keep our two little ones while I attend school but left me after I found the phone o I couldn't make it to school. Its a school program where I will receive my certificate after graduation to work in a career field and you have to pay for this schooling whatever financial aid and private loans doesnt cover He said its not his problem but before I enrolled I asked him was he going to be dependable and he said ok. I feel so hurt that he is doing this to me and our kids. Hewould rather jeopardize his family for a threesome. Plus the little money I had he took it from me and left me with nothing.
Chandra314
by Bronze Member on Oct. 24, 2013 at 5:05 AM
Hi...can you please message me when you have a chance?
Thanks.
TheDrsRose
by Platinum Member on Oct. 24, 2013 at 5:07 AM
Bump! ill be back on here tomorrow when I can type quicker. I have a SERIOUS problem right now.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 24, 2013 at 8:21 AM
No I was wondering if there's away to figure out what brought on the PTSD. Meaning how did they know and what brings it on. Because my mom says my psychiatrist I saw when I was 11 for emotional issues from my parents divorced. Told her I had strong signs of PTSD. She says she never got me help because she assumed I made up symptoms to get attention. Therefore my psychiatrist assumed that's what it was.


Quoting Anonymous:

Well, it all depends on what you want out of therapy. Psychiatrists are great, but I do not agree with them giving out meds to help people. I would personally recommend a psychologist, or some sort of counsellor to help you work through your PTSD, and if need be, they can refer you to a psychiatrist, etc. A lot of people actually have this, including myself. 

Now, for your next question, I'm not sure what you're asking. How can you figure out WHY you have it? Or figure out IF you have it? 

Quote my answer, and I'll help you through the second part of your question! 


Quoting Anonymous:

What type of Dr should I see for PTSD? Like psychologist, or psychiatrist. My mom says I've had it since 13 years old but won't say why. So how can I help myself find out





Retrokitty
by Ruby Member on Oct. 24, 2013 at 10:29 AM
I'm in canada too. I know in BC you have to have your PHD for every job pretty much >.< but we will most likely move to Alberta where you can get a job easier with a lower education.

Quoting Anonymous:

It really depends on where you live. I haven't really looked into research jobs, but my favourite site to look for jobs is www.indeed.com 

I'm in Canada, and around where I live, there are many jobs that pay anywhere from $19-$35 per hour with a BA.

With a Masters, you can do many things. And of course, with a PHD/psyD you can do a lot more! It really depends on exactly what he wants to do..



Quoting Retrokitty:

DF is almost done his BA in psychology. Is there many jobs for BAs he wants to be a researcher but knows he needs at least a PHD to do anything important.




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