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I know she got an abortion..but I found out by accident. HUGE UPDATE!!!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 49 Replies

My son just got an iPhone.  Somehow his iMessages are going through my computer.  Out of nowhere, his conversation with his girlfriend started coming in.  She got an abortion today.  They are 16.  I had no idea.  He has been allowed to go to her house.  I thought her parents were just as vigilant as we were about their time together.  I'm not sure how to feel about this.  Or what to do.  Do I tell him I know?  Do I tell my husband?  I'm so sad.  I'm mourning the loss of the baby.  I'm mourning the loss of my son's innocence.  I'm mad.  I'm so disappointed in him.  I thought we had a better relationship.  We have talked about this so much.  Any advice?

UPDATE

Well, she didn't get an abortion.  She is pregnant.  Two months.  We are in shock and devastated.  I found out by my daughter.  Some girl asked her about it at my son's football game.  She of course asked me how I would feel if DS had a baby.  I asked him about it.  He was stunned I knew.  I told my husband the next day.  We have gone through so many emotions.  Disppointed, sad, mad, etc.  We met with her parents.  They are weirdly calm.  They say we can be as involved as we want.  I don't know how to feel.  I had so many talks with my son about sex.  We had a baby last November.  A huge surprise.  I used every opportunity to remind him this is what happens when you have unprotected sex.  I am always a second away from a panic attack.  Her parents admitted they knew when it happened.  They went away for the night.  Told their daughter he could come over.  They thought it would be ok because a few older people were in the house.  

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 24, 2013 at 12:29 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 24, 2013 at 12:31 AM
1 mom liked this
Talk to him about sex, definitely... I have no idea if I'd tell him I know. Honestly, I prob wouldn't just because I'd want to still be able to see the conversations (opposed to them not texting)
.PinkHart.
by Platinum Member on Oct. 24, 2013 at 12:31 AM
I would talk to him. He may need someone to talk this through with. Not only about the emotional aspect of an abortion (yes the fathers can be effected) but about what to do from here on out.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 24, 2013 at 12:31 AM

Yep. You tell him what you saw and talk about it. You make sure to have a plan so an unplanned pregnancy never happens again.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 24, 2013 at 12:32 AM
Are you sure it was his kid? Maybe she was pregnant before they met?
sheramom4
by Ruby Member on Oct. 24, 2013 at 12:33 AM



Quoting Anonymous:

Well I assume they weren't very vigilant and knew bc a minor can't get an abortion without parental consent.


Yes, in most states,they can. At least at 16. Usually it is anyone over 12 or 13 does not need parental consent.

smurfbitebug
by on Oct. 24, 2013 at 12:35 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm going to be the bad guy and tell you to tell her parents. I'm going to get jumped like hell for it, but fuck it. She is sixteen and probably in a world of hurt right now. So while you do need to straighten this out with your kid and he will probably be affected as well, she might be more alone in this than you think.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 24, 2013 at 12:35 AM
Source?


Quoting sheramom4:




Quoting Anonymous:

Well I assume they weren't very vigilant and knew bc a minor can't get an abortion without parental consent.



Yes, in most states,they can. At least at 16. Usually it is anyone over 12 or 13 does not need parental consent.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 24, 2013 at 12:35 AM
It depends on the state. Some states don't require parental consent.


Quoting Anonymous:

Well I assume they weren't very vigilant and knew bc a minor can't get an abortion without parental consent.

lalaboosh
by on Oct. 24, 2013 at 12:36 AM
2 moms liked this

You shouldn't assume they had sex because her parents weren't watching them closely enough. It's pretty easy to go for a walk and find a quiet place to be alone.

bowribbonmama
by Ruby Member on Oct. 24, 2013 at 12:37 AM
Not everywhere.

Quoting Anonymous:

Well I assume they weren't very vigilant and knew bc a minor can't get an abortion without parental consent.
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