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Were you judgier when you were a new mom than you are now, or did you actually become more judgy?

Posted by on Oct. 24, 2013 at 9:25 AM
  • 154 Replies
1 mom liked this

The Judgiest Mom I Ever Knew Was Me

by Adriana Velez 

omg kidIt's a really good thing the mom I was years ago has no idea what the mom I am now is up to. I don't know if she'd ever forgive me. I mean, don't get me started on screen time. "I've become less anti-video games as my kids have gotten older," muses blogger Gloria Fallon in Mommyish. ORLLY? Me too! I have completely relaxed my militant stand against video games, the one I firmly held when my son was 3 days old. Now that he's 9 years old, it's like "Play on, young gamer, play on. I've got another post to finish/bill to pay/dinner to cook/episode of The Mindy Project to watch." If I only knew then what I know now about parenting, I wouldn't have been such a judgy asshole. Know what I mean? No? Let me give you a few more examples.

1. Candy is bad. Why would any caring parent allow their children to eat candy, i.e. Satan's poison? I'll tell you why. Sit down, let me pour you a glass of wine, and we'll talk about all the many, many reasons why you'd allow your child to eat candy. (Too many to list here.)

2. No SpongeBob. He's a bad influence on children. Now? SpongeBob is spoken here. 

3. No cheap threads. My child shall wear only organic cotton or wool clothing made by ADULT, fairly paid elves in Norway. Now? Okay, we do still have the regulation Hanna Andersson pajamas. But we also have polyester SpongeBob pajamas and suspiciously inexpensive t-shirts and jeans probably made by (gulp) other children.

4. Family dinner at the table every night. It's important to have a civilized meal with your family at an actual table every night. I still believe this, and we had a pretty good run. But lately? I've decided it counts if we're sitting next to each other on the sofa. Basically I need a table that comes to me.

5. Early to bed and early to rise. My kid will go to bed early, just like I did! Here's the thing: The earlier your kid goes to bed, the earlier he rises. DO YOU SEE THE PROBLEM THERE? This is why you want to cultivate a kid who sleeps in. Trust.

6. Sunscreen every day, all day. Haha. Sunscreen when I know he'll be out all day long. Otherwise, we'll just follow the Gwyneth Paltrow "sun is good for you!" philosophy.

I could go on, but I have more writing to do before I return home to feed my son sweet potato fries and nothing but sweet potato fries for dinner. With mayonnaise. OK, I'll probably let him drink apple cider with dinner. OMG, juice!

Were you judgier when you were a new mom than you are now, or did you actually become more judgy?

by on Oct. 24, 2013 at 9:25 AM
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by Ruby Member on Oct. 24, 2013 at 9:32 AM
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 I am and never have been judgy on parenting, I pretty much did what needed to be done and don't pay much attention to what other people are doing.

I will however say this... Spongebob is and will always banned in my house as long as I'm anywhere near the TV. I HATE spongebob.

by Anonymous 1 on Oct. 24, 2013 at 9:35 AM
3 moms liked this

I was judgier when I was a new mom. However... I still believe in fair-trade, bedtimes, family dinners, and limited candy. I can confess to the spongebob thing though. 

I'm less judgy in that I don't care if other people eat supper on the sofa and allow their kids to stay up late. To each their own is one of my favorite mottos. lol As long as their kids are happy, healthy, safe, and loved.

by on Oct. 24, 2013 at 9:37 AM
1 mom liked this

 Judgier Judgy?

I prefer to say "Having an opinion".   Example: "I prefer to only breast feed until my child is ONE". That is my opinion. Is it being "Judgy" ? I think not.

by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 24, 2013 at 9:38 AM
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Neither. As long as you're not abusing your children, I really don't care what you're doing. I do things my way and you do things your way. It's that simple.
by on Oct. 24, 2013 at 9:38 AM
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Once I became a mom I became a hell of a lot more judgy (as much as I love to admit that).

Obviously I don't know everyone's situation, but if you're going to let your kids run around and scream on the top of their lungs in a restaurant, I will be muttering under my breath.

by Platinum Member on Oct. 24, 2013 at 9:39 AM
1 mom liked this
I was never judgy against other moms. I have my own rules about how I feel the right way to do things are but they are for me and mine. Truthfully I have never really given a crap what other parents do with their kids. Their kids their problems or success. I will say my rules have changed through the years and what I thought was important doesn't necessarily seem so earth shattering anymore.
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 24, 2013 at 9:39 AM
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Oh, god as a new mom I was the judgeiest Judgey Mc Judgerson. Formula is EVIL!  Cloth Diapers only!!! Organic EVERYTHING! No JUICE!!! VIRGIN GUT!!! VIRGIN GUT, you all!...

Then I had a preemie who had to have formula (through a feeding tube and then! OMG! a bottle! not a bottle, no the nipple confusion oh, dear lord nipple confusion!!!NOOOOOOOOOO!)

Then another kid who refused to eat for 3 months straight... except formula, of course.  He also got the worst diaper rashes I ever saw until we switched him to Huggies.

And finally, the c section I swore I would  never ever under any circumstance allow... you know bleeding to death was not a good plan, so c section it is. 

And I have mellowed on A LOT these days... three year old who refuses to step in to the bathroom with the potty seat (let alone sit on a potty), okay she probably won't go to kindergarten in pull ups (oh, loosened up on those too, so much easier to get on a bigger kid). .. Juice? well some days... does horrible things to their tummy if I let them have too much... But, somethings are still out; commercial TV- Mostly I just don't want to pay for TV, Sponge Bob? still find him annoying, I don't see that changing. and car seats, yep she is the only kid in her class still in a 5 pt harness, but she fits so she sits.

Also amazing how much I stopped caring about somethings when my husband lost his job and regular apple were a third of the price of organic and used clothes a tenth price of new.

by Ruby Member on Oct. 24, 2013 at 9:41 AM

A little but not much. There are still certain things that I am pretty strict on some i am not

by on Oct. 24, 2013 at 9:41 AM
5 moms liked this

I was judgier before I was a mom, a little less judgy as a new mom, and now (after having 3 kids of my own) as long as the other parent is able to keep their kids alive I don't care how they do it.  I have realized that for the most part, we as moms all strive for the same goal - to have happy healthy kids that end up being productive members of society - we just don't all get there the same way.

by Anonymous 4 on Oct. 24, 2013 at 9:42 AM
1 mom liked this

The only thing I know for sure is that I know what makes MY children happy TODAY. Tomorrow is another story and I'll work on it then.

Barring any form of abuse, another parent can guide, feed and love their child their way and I won't give a hoot. We're all just trying to help our children succeed. If organic food, homeschooling and homemade clothing do it for ya, great. If not-so-perfect food, public school and trendy clothes do it for ya, great. If you're in the middle, that's great too.

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