Okay the title is mean. I only put it to get your attention. But it is kind of true.
So, I am the girl who is torn between her husband and her daughter's father. And I've been texting and calling my daughter's father not about my daughter.
It may seem like I am a troll because of the way I word things or my e-tone but I am not. This is what I am really going through.
Let me just explain something so you can better understand.
My husband and I have been together since our first year of highschool on and off. I knew him even before I knew my daughter's father. But he has always been the back up plan and he accepts that from me. I left him for so many men and whenever it didn't work out, I would go back to him. Time and time again. Over and over. I fell in love with him for loving me no matter what crap I pulled.
But I look down at him for not having a back bone. I look down at him for accepting my bullshit. After all the times he took me back, it is extremely hard for me to take him seriously. He is such a pushover but I LOVE him for loving me and that is the only reason. I feel like I made the biggest mistake marrying him becuase now I can't easily leave him. I thought he was the one which is why I married him until I realized I ONLY loved him because he loved me unconditonally. But he has no self esteem.
My daughters father however, I lost my virginty to him. I love him because of the way he makes me feel. I love him because he accepts me for who I am. He never forces me into doing anything I don't want to do unlike me husband who is trying to mold me into this housewife. I love him because he has a great sense of humor. I love him because he is a great father. I love him because the sex was SO good. I can go on and on but the point is. I love him for more than JUST loving me.
I married my husband as a last resort almost. I married him because it was easy. I married him because I setteld. And now I regret it.
I don't want to leave him because I know it will crush him. That and he has threatened to try his hardest to make sure I lose everything, including my kids if we seperated. I feel stuck. I am not happy. I don't know what to do.