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Women riding high horses: what say you?

Posted by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 5:54 PM
  • 23 Replies
It seems like one of the most common phrases you see in any thread relating to public assistance is that "responsible people only have children they can afford".

In certain threads and conversations, I would agree with that. Don't conceive or have children if you aren't going to be able to provide for them. But other times, the statement seems ridiculous.

Job loss, illness, house fires, car accidents, death, etc. could strike any family at any time. Savings could be rapidly depleted, and people who were once financially fit can find themselves unable to buy food or pay their bills. Those same people may have had children when they were fully able to support them. Does that make them irresponsible?

So, the question for people who frequently talk down to those who are currently on PA and have children is, how is falling on hard times a reflection of how responsible you are? How much money should you have saved before you dare to have children? What kind of hoops should you jump through, and what kind of hardships should you have to face before seeking help if your savings doesn't last as long as you need?
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 5:54 PM
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Replies (1-10):
DusterMommy
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 5:59 PM
God, the posts here roll to second page way too quick.
Hannahluvsdogs
by Keyser Söze on Oct. 26, 2013 at 6:00 PM

I'm not one of those women so here's a bump.

ivegotrhythm
by Platinum Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 6:02 PM
2 moms liked this
I came from a wealthy family. I married a man who made multiple six figures a year.

Twelve years in he has a midlife crisis, decides to become a bartender and has an affair with a married woman.

Due to family support I'm not on PA yet, but I have the forms on my coffee table.

I'm judging no one.
DusterMommy
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 6:20 PM
Ugh. Bump.
randi1978
by Murdoc's Mistress on Oct. 26, 2013 at 6:23 PM
1 mom liked this

I'd say with most, it is poor decision making.

The rest are the exact examples you gave.

But the holier than thou's who haunt those threads with their "make better choices" mantra also seem to believe you should have tens(or hundreds) of thousands of dollars saved up before you ever consider having children to avoid ever needing help. 

DusterMommy
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 6:30 PM
Yes, those women are the ones this is addressed to. I had one woman several years ago actually give me a number: 70,000. That's the cash you should have in savings before ever having children.

I guess you have to be young and wealthy or older (thus having had years to save) before having kids. Everyone else...too bad, I guess?


Quoting randi1978:

I'd say with most, it is poor decision making.

The rest are the exact examples you gave.

But the holier than thou's who haunt those threads with their "make better choices" mantra also seem to believe you should have tens(or hundreds) of thousands of dollars saved up before you ever consider having children to avoid ever needing help. 


randi1978
by Murdoc's Mistress on Oct. 26, 2013 at 6:34 PM

Yup, apparently if you've depleted your savings to stay afloat, you didn't save enough, hence making poor choices to have children when you were not ready *yeah, i've been here 6 yrs and have heard that A LOT*.

And if by the time you're ready, but pushing 40 or higher, don't even try because then you'd be "too old" for kids and not live long enough to enjoy them or whatever.

Some of the crap I've heard on this site just makes me shake my head, I swear.

Quoting DusterMommy:

Yes, those women are the ones this is addressed to. I had one woman several years ago actually give me a number: 70,000. That's the cash you should have in savings before ever having children.

I guess you have to be young and wealthy or older (thus having had years to save) before having kids. Everyone else...too bad, I guess?


Quoting randi1978:

I'd say with most, it is poor decision making.

The rest are the exact examples you gave.

But the holier than thou's who haunt those threads with their "make better choices" mantra also seem to believe you should have tens(or hundreds) of thousands of dollars saved up before you ever consider having children to avoid ever needing help. 



fairyjester
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 6:35 PM
1 mom liked this

well  when i was a teenager i  occasionally rode a horse name Skywalker he was a good 17  hands.. is that high enough?

ColtsFan1912
by FriendoftheFoot on Oct. 26, 2013 at 6:35 PM

I yell GO HORSE a lot during football season. . that's as close to a high horse as i get ;)

Mrs.Torres2566
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 6:35 PM

I say I just have a tall horse, he's about 16hh...oh wait...that's not what you're talking about at all. NVM...carry on...

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