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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

EDITED: People who vacation without their kids shouldn't have become parents

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Ugh. A woman I know is on a mommycation. (Girls spa weekend). I'm judging her hard. She comments on me being weird for not posting 568435775 pictures of my son (as if that means I don't love him and am not proud of him). So yeah I'm judging her!


Edit : Okay - so apparently this post blew up while I was sleeping!  I changed the title from "judging a friend" to what it is now, becuase there were ZERO responses, so I decided I would use an attention grabbing title instead.


I do NOT think vacationing without your kids makes you a bad parent, nor do I judge women/men who do this.  While I could NOT vacation without my son, I do other things by myself to recharge.  I get my hair/nails done, and go for drives.  (The ONE thing I miss about not being a mommy is being able to crank up the radio and drive with the windows down.  So - twice a week I go for a 15 minute drive and crank up the volume.)  I get plenty of alone time, but at this point, I doubt I will ever vacation without my children.  

My parents do not know how to be around babies, as I'm adopted - so they will never be around my children alone until they are 5/6.  My in laws will also never be around my children alone because they have proved time and time again that they cannot respect boundaries or rules, and my FIL gives off a serious sexual predator vibe......SO - those facts alone make it impossible for us to vacation without the kids even if we wanted to.  However, neither my husband or myself like the idea.  (I'm not saying this will change when we have more kids and the kids get older, but for now our one son will come with us on any vacation we take.)

And for those of you who asked, I'm 26 (27 in 2 months), my husband will be 30 in November and my son is eight months old.  Other than my husband there is ONE person I trust to watch my son without any supervision.  I'm not a helicopter parent, but I was sexually abused ad my biological mother did nothing to protect me, so I probably am a little overprotective, but I think that's pretty normal given my childhood.  

So to recap - I do NOT think it's bad or irresponsible to vacation without your kids.  I made the post because I was irritated that someone who made it such a point to comment and berate ME for not blasting 32828292 pictures of my son on social media, to go to a spa for a weekend.  I don't think she's horrible, I don't think she loves her daughter any less than I love my son, but I was irritated as crap!

PS - I love how a lot of women called me a Mommy Martyr because I am far from it.  I know my post came off like that, but that was to get more responses.  I am far from a perfect parent and I know I will make mistakes, but I do try my best to give my son a healthy and well rounded life.  

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 27, 2013 at 12:44 AM
Replies (161-170):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 27, 2013 at 11:01 AM

but at this point, I doubt I will ever vacation without my children  <--------  FROM OP after edit......AT THIS POINT means WHILE I HAVE A BABY.  


(I'm not saying this will change when we have more kids and the kids get older, but for now our one son will come with us on any vacation we take.)  <------ Also from OP after the edit.  BUT FOR NOW....means WHEN MY KIDS ARE YOUNG AND BREAST FEEDING, they will come with us on any vacation we take.  I'm not backpedaling.  Maybe I did a poor job of explaining myself initially, or maybe you misunderstood what I said.....or maybe it's a combination of both - but I am most certainly NOT backpedaling.  

And the part about breast feeding was in the replies......

Quoting justinnaimee:

Your backpedaling is almost masterful. But, no. There is nothing about breastfeeding at all in the post. You did mention you wouldn't leave your child with your parents until he was 5-6. You also clearly stated you doubt you'll ever vacation without your kids. But nice try.

Oh and excuse my typo. We all make mistakes sometimes and I'm no exception.


Quoting Anonymous:

You clearly misunderstood. I explained that I would never vacation without my kids while they are young and breast feeding......school aged kids are a little different. But yes, I do know that I will never ever leave my babies to vacation without them....




Quoting justinnaimee:

I love how you have an 8 month old and you just KNOW what your NEVER going to do. Lmao.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 27, 2013 at 11:03 AM

Every time my mom has held my son, she has almost dropped my him.  No, she cannot learn because she doesn't want to.  She treats me like crap (which is another reason why she will never be alone with my son, but I didn't want to give the background on that because its long and confusing, and isn't what this post is about....so I left it out). 


Quoting fullxbusymom:

In this world everyday people become moms and those same people have never been around babies or even held one before so are they incapable of being moms?? 

Hun if she is human and wants to learn it truly isn't that hard and she isn't incapable she simply hasn't had the experience or opportunity. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Haha. Before I had my son she never held a baby.....she's never been around babies before so actually yes it does make her incapable of caring for my baby....


Quoting fullxbusymom:

So because you mom adopted you she can't be capable of taking care of a baby *eye roll* that has be the stupiest thing I have ever read.






abecee
by on Oct. 27, 2013 at 11:05 AM

Why isn't you don't tell your friend how her comments make you feel?

fullxbusymom
by Ruby Member on Oct. 27, 2013 at 11:06 AM

Read what I wrote I said if she WANTED to learn!!

Quoting Anonymous:

Every time my mom has held my son, she has almost dropped my him.  No, she cannot learn because she doesn't want to.  She treats me like crap (which is another reason why she will never be alone with my son, but I didn't want to give the background on that because its long and confusing, and isn't what this post is about....so I left it out). 


Quoting fullxbusymom:

In this world everyday people become moms and those same people have never been around babies or even held one before so are they incapable of being moms?? 

Hun if she is human and wants to learn it truly isn't that hard and she isn't incapable she simply hasn't had the experience or opportunity. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Haha. Before I had my son she never held a baby.....she's never been around babies before so actually yes it does make her incapable of caring for my baby....


Quoting fullxbusymom:

So because you mom adopted you she can't be capable of taking care of a baby *eye roll* that has be the stupiest thing I have ever read.







justinnaimee
by Platinum Member on Oct. 27, 2013 at 11:07 AM
There are over 160 replies. I'm not about to wade through hundreds of replies hoping you might clarify your stance.

Quoting Anonymous:but at this point, I doubt I will ever vacation without my children  <--------  FROM OP after edit......AT THIS POINT means WHILE I HAVE A BABY.  (I'm not saying this will change when we have more kids and the kids get older, but for now our one son will come with us on any vacation we take.)  <------ Also from OP after the edit.  BUT FOR NOW....means WHEN MY KIDS ARE YOUNG AND BREAST FEEDING, they will come with us on any vacation we take.  I'm not backpedaling.  Maybe I did a poor job of explaining myself initially, or maybe you misunderstood what I said.....or maybe it's a combination of both - but I am most certainly NOT backpedaling.  And the part about breast feeding was in the replies......
Quoting justinnaimee:Your backpedaling is almost masterful. But, no. There is nothing about breastfeeding at all in the post. You did mention you wouldn't leave your child with your parents until he was 5-6. You also clearly stated you doubt you'll ever vacation without your kids. But nice try.

Oh and excuse my typo. We all make mistakes sometimes and I'm no exception.

Quoting Anonymous:You clearly misunderstood. I explained that I would never vacation without my kids while they are young and breast feeding......school aged kids are a little different. But yes, I do know that I will never ever leave my babies to vacation without them....


Quoting justinnaimee:I love how you have an 8 month old and you just KNOW what your NEVER going to do. Lmao.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 27, 2013 at 11:27 AM
1 mom liked this
Well she likes to act like in so mean for not letting her babysit, then she turns around and insults me. My mom is a sore spot for me right now. Either way though I still wouldn't let my mom babysit until she stops insulting me because if she says the types of things she does around me to my son:...it will be the last time she is ever around him.

I wasn't snapping at you just explaining things more.


Quoting fullxbusymom:

Read what I wrote I said if she WANTED to learn!!

Quoting Anonymous:

Every time my mom has held my son, she has almost dropped my him.  No, she cannot learn because she doesn't want to.  She treats me like crap (which is another reason why she will never be alone with my son, but I didn't want to give the background on that because its long and confusing, and isn't what this post is about....so I left it out). 



Quoting fullxbusymom:

In this world everyday people become moms and those same people have never been around babies or even held one before so are they incapable of being moms?? 

Hun if she is human and wants to learn it truly isn't that hard and she isn't incapable she simply hasn't had the experience or opportunity. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Haha. Before I had my son she never held a baby.....she's never been around babies before so actually yes it does make her incapable of caring for my baby....





Quoting fullxbusymom:

So because you mom adopted you she can't be capable of taking care of a baby *eye roll* that has be the stupiest thing I have ever read.










ambitious_MOM
by Bronze Member on Oct. 27, 2013 at 2:34 PM
Right couldn't have been said Better....


Quoting Not_A_Native:

 




Quoting ambitious_MOM:

Well that's you....everything isn't meant to be shared with them most moms need this thing called a break that doesn't make them bad mothers it makes them human......



Quoting Anonymous:

I wouldn't enjoy it. I had kids because I want to share my life with them.





Quoting mommyx2-2006:

I always feel guilty even thinking about it





 Exactly.


The kids will grow up, they won't want to spend their entire life with YOU.  You will be with your husband (if he doesn't leave you first since you seem to put your kids above all).  It's not healthy to not have a life outside your kids, and as one of those "kids" - it's terribly guilt inducing.  When they would rather be with their friends than you, but feel sorry for you because you have no one else.


You need to have a life, interests, passions.  They can't be a person - not even your kids.  What did you love to do before you had kids?  Why don't you do it now?


Syphon
by on Oct. 28, 2013 at 9:39 AM
1 mom liked this

 Like what?  Have freaky sex on top of scooters with obese people?

Quoting christina0607:

Disney world isbetter without kids. There are so many things that you cant do with kids.

Quoting Syphon:

 Ewww.  Disney?  Without kids?  Why?  I'm all for kid free vacations but Disney is the last place in the world I'd go.   


Quoting christina0607:

Sounds like youre jealous.

Last year my husband and i went to disney world without the kids. We had a fucking awesome time!!

 

 

MrsCarnes88
by Member on Oct. 28, 2013 at 10:32 AM
well I wont be feeling guilty or bad while im in New Zealand this February while dh and our kids are home
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 28, 2013 at 11:13 AM
Ok. I don't think you should. Did you even read my fucking post?


Quoting MrsCarnes88:

well I wont be feeling guilty or bad while im in New Zealand this February while dh and our kids are home

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