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Am I the only one who.. (may be long, I'm kind of venting)

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 16 Replies
My mother makes me feel like I am a terrible mother myself, she doesn't do it intentionally. I just moved back into my parents house; I will say that I am a young mom but will not say exactly how old I am because that isn't the point of the post.

I have a 2yo and 1yo DD. My parents are successful and my younger sisters (14yo and almost 16yo) do well in school and are well behaved and respectful young ladies. I feel like such a burden now that I am back home (my marriage is ending) and I hate it. I can not afford rent somewhere on my own and can not have a job because I'll be starting college in January and have no one to watch the girls because my sisters are in school and my parents both work. They don't make me feel like a burden, they are all very happy we moved back and I love having the help. Personally, I just feel bad. I am not on any kind of government funded assistance or anything and I buy milk, juice,diapers, wipes and other things (from child support for my oldest DD) that my daughters need/use up. In other words, my parents do not have to buy anything unless they WANT to. I clean the house while everyone is gone during the day and some days even make dinner. I'm trying really hard to be a good moms despite my age and where I stand in life. I am not on drugs, I do not smoke and have never been drunk/to a party of any kind, EVER. I'm just really trying to do well in school so that my girls will do well in life. I want my parents to be PROUD of me for a change.

Am I the only one who sits alone on a Sunday night thinking "this week I need to start being a better mom"?
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 27, 2013 at 8:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MIA0223
by Ruby Member on Oct. 27, 2013 at 8:54 PM
Hugs.
My family has a way of making me feel like a crap person too.
Just ignore it!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 27, 2013 at 8:54 PM
You're not alone. I want to be a better mom too. Your family sounds great, and the fact that u care to pull your weight and what not with cooking and cleaning would be greatly appreciated in my book. Things will get better :)
Torihoney5njn
by Kristy on Oct. 27, 2013 at 8:57 PM

It sounds like you are making the best of your situation. Try to see it positively- your children will probably be far closer to your sisters and your parents since you are living with them. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 27, 2013 at 8:59 PM

May I ask, if you are young enough to not admit your age did you have two children so close in age by two different fathers?  After the first one, why no birth control?


Not bashing, just curious....It seems that you have set yourself up for a very hard life.

Pink.Frosting
by Platinum Member on Oct. 27, 2013 at 9:03 PM

Actually from what you said your mom sounds pretty awesome.  Are you sure it's her making you feel that way and not your own insecurities?

DropZoneMom
by Silver Member on Oct. 27, 2013 at 9:05 PM
1 mom liked this

Oh, sweetie.   At this moment, I would love to be able to give you an enormous HUG!!!!  

First -- yes, I think ALL moms have that thought.   But, second -- I think you are being VERY hard on yourself!!!!   Go back and reread what you posted (as if it was written by someone else).   There is absolutely NOTHING there that says "bad mom"; EVERYTHING there says "this is a young woman going through a dificult -- and probably pretty sad -- time in her life, and she is doing her very best to make it as easy as possible on EVERYONE."

I am probably old enough to be your Mom (in my 40's -- I got a 'late' start having my kids, so my eldest is 14).   But from my viewpoint -- if you were my daughter going through what you are -- I would be SO HAPPY to have you home.   I would NOT view you as a 'burden'.   Because, no matter how old you are, parents want to be there for you when you need us.   And I GUARANTEE your parents -- and your sisters -- are HAPPY that you are there, that they can support you (emotionally, financially, in any way you need it!!!)

And what you're doing now (getting ready to start college, paying for your daughters' needs, cooking & cleaning, NOT smoking or partying) speaks VOLUMES about your maturity -- I have NO DOUBT you are going to come through all of this as a strong, independent woman, who is an excellent role model for your sisters AND your daughters.

Keep doing what you're doing.   Hold your head high.   You have every reason to be VERY proud of yourself!!!!

imandia4
by Gold Member on Oct. 27, 2013 at 9:09 PM

 You know you are doing your best. If they refuse to see it and give you credit for it then maybe you need to not worry about what they think. Or maybe they are jealous that you are mature for your age and dealing with what life throws at you.

Just because they don't show how they are proud of you does not make how you are any less true. Right? Like I said you know you are doing the right thing. Keep at it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 27, 2013 at 9:34 PM
My oldest DD was 15mo when my second was born and they do have the same father. I got pregnant with my first as a result of taking an antibiotic while on the pill. After my first, I chose pills again but skipped a few; it was really just stupidity that brought my second along.


Quoting Anonymous:

May I ask, if you are young enough to not admit your age did you have two children so close in age by two different fathers?  After the first one, why no birth control?


Not bashing, just curious....It seems that you have set yourself up for a very hard life.


imultracool
by Gold Member on Oct. 27, 2013 at 9:38 PM
1 mom liked this
No matter how good a mom may be, she will always tell herself she needs to be better. Just part of being a mom I think. You are doing your best and your kids sound like they are doing just fine. Give yourself a break!
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 27, 2013 at 9:51 PM

It wasn't stupidity, it was being human. Not everyone remembers to take the pill on time all the time.  I know, I have a daughter for the same reason. Don't get down on yourself.  Try to stay positive.  If you were a bad mom, you wouldn't have kept your daughters.  Is your soon to be ex husband helping out with the younger girl as well?  I know there is no CS in place for her yet but you may want to see about getting a CO in place for both girls.  I wish you the best.

Quoting Anonymous:

My oldest DD was 15mo when my second was born and they do have the same father. I got pregnant with my first as a result of taking an antibiotic while on the pill. After my first, I chose pills again but skipped a few; it was really just stupidity that brought my second along.


Quoting Anonymous:

May I ask, if you are young enough to not admit your age did you have two children so close in age by two different fathers?  After the first one, why no birth control?


Not bashing, just curious....It seems that you have set yourself up for a very hard life.



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