by Michele Zipp
I love being a mom. But it doesn't have to be a word attached to everything I do. I don't drink a "mom drink" nor do I eat "mommy food" and while you may call my car a "mom car" it's not a minivan, okay? It just has car seats in it (and a whole bunch of crumbs). I'm a mom but also a person just like people who aren't moms. I do typical "mom things" like wipe butts and sacrifice my sleeve if my kid has a booger nose and there are no tissues in sight, but SURPRISE! I do typical non-mom things, too, that have nothing to do with being a mom.
Some of these mommy terms drive me nuts ... and some really piss me off. Check out the six mommy terms that tend to make us all a bit annoyed.
1. Mommy porn. I was watching a round-table discussion on Fifty Shades of Grey and the commentators were negatively describing the book as "mommy porn." What in the heck is that supposed to mean? I felt it was an insult to moms everywhere because they were basically saying Fifty Shades is dumbed down writing. I'm not going to defend the book -- it is what it is. But I will always defend moms. No need to call it mommy porn -- moms like all kinds of porn in case the no-brains who said this were wondering. Yep, all kinds. Different kinds. Not just Fifty Shades. Some of us moms don't even like the book.
2. Mom jeans. This is a negative term to describe jeans that look awful. The cameltoe jeans. The jeans that are ill-fitting. Jeans that are outdated. The high-waisted jeans on women who have no business wearing high-waisted jeans. Just like we like our porn, moms like all kinds of jeans. Don't fashion a label on a type of jeans with our title attached thankyouverymuch.
3. Mommy bloggers. I have a love/hate with this term; and I understand why it gets so many of our goats. People use the term mommy blogger as a way to demean our work as bloggers, writers, journalists. Some don't take us seriously because it has the word "mommy" attached. Knock that off, okay?
4. MILF. I'm one of those women who if I get called a MILF I'm simultaneously turned on and totally turned off. I want to be thought of as sexy, but I'm not some sort of freakshow novelty begging to be objectified ... or as term suggests "fucked." MILTMSPLT (mom I'd like to make sweet passionate love to) doesn't have the same ring though.
5. Single mom. Now that I'm a single mom, hearing the term single mom brings up some sort of "failure" feelings, but mostly because of the way people say it or use the term in a half whisper. Look, single moms just aren't with their baby's dad. That's it. I guess I just don't like labels. I'm single. I'm a mom. I'm also a writer, so should I be a single writer? I also love tacos; so should I be a single taco lover? See what I'm getting at here?
6. She's "just a mom". This gem of a phrase is typically muttered when someone wants to point out that a woman is doing nothing else in her life except being a mom. Because, you know, moms do nothing. We have no life; never did. We were just waiting around to get impregnated so anything and everything we accomplished before we became "just a mom" could be erased forevermore. No mom is ever "just a mom" -- a mom is a mom and all the hundreds of other things that makes her who she is.
Which one of these terms bother you the most? Have any others to add?