Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

does a PRENUP lessen the value of a marriage?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
What say you?

I personally would never marry someone who requested a prenup, and I'd never request any man to sign one before I'd marry him. I feel like it's a divorce before the marriage. Maybe that's just me though.
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 29, 2013 at 10:17 AM
Replies (271-280):
by Platinum Member on Oct. 30, 2013 at 10:21 PM

I don't think so. To me it's the same as making sure my husband had life insurance before we had kids. I'm not planning to be a widow while our kids are still little, but I know we will be ok if that does happen.....God forbid.

by Gold Member on Oct. 30, 2013 at 10:46 PM
1 mom liked this

Marriage is supposed to be forever, and a prenup makes it sound like "well if we get divorced..."  I don't like them either

by Anonymous 71 on Oct. 30, 2013 at 11:08 PM
1 mom liked this

Anyone who is vehemently opposed to the idea of a prenup doesn't have enough fortune to protect to need one.  Simple as that.

I won't rob future generations of the chance to enjoy family properties and heirlooms and money just because I was afraid to hurt someone's feelings.  Nope.

by Anonymous 72 on Oct. 30, 2013 at 11:22 PM

I have never been in the situation so I can't say I would never do it. 

That being said, this is what I think.

If I felt the need for a pre-nup, I would do as a previous poster said, What was mine or his before the marriage stays mine or his. What we made together, or what was brought in during the course of the marriage would be marrital assets and should be devided equally. I don't give a flying rat whether I made more or he made more. Marriage is NOT a compitition and therefore will not be treated as such. So if I make 9 million then he gets 4.5 million and I get 4.5 million.

Sadly though, I do feel that a pre-nup is a divorce waiting to happen.

I am my husband's third wife, He is my fourth husband. We got married very quickly and we have had our ups and downs, but 2 weeks after we met and 2 weeks before we got married we BOTH said in an argument we will never bring up divorce. And, we have never NOT ONCE thrown that at each other.

I have told him 2 different times that because he was choosing to do things the way he was that he needed to go stay at his other house until he decided that what our family needed was more important than what he wanted.

We are happy, in love and get along super well. I have never been with another man who never hit me, raped me, or stole from me. And he feels the same way. We have 2 beautiful girls together and are thinking about ttc in a few more months before I can't have anymore children.

by on Oct. 31, 2013 at 12:18 AM
Considering that most people don't truly consider marriage a forever commitment and bail on them like they would as easily as if it were a high school romance these days I think if u have anything of value or ur prospective mate does, u would have to be completely stupid not to have one.
My boyfriend has been financially ruined by two ex wives and will never be able to own a new car or home in his lifetime most likely.
My EH and I didn't have much so there wasn't much to lose but in this day most people don't take their marriage as seriously as they should. People just go into it with all the lovey doveyness in their heads so of course a prenup sounds offensive, but when real life hits most want to's better to be protected my opinion...
by on Oct. 31, 2013 at 12:41 AM

It is not a divorce before a marriage, it just retains any property you had before the marriage.  If you acquire property together after the marriage that is common property..  I had a prenup to protect mme and property i owned before and kids I had before who worked on some of that property.  I could change it at any tine  I could buy property alone or could buy with him.  If we buy together it is ours.  I can leave retirement money to him and can leave some to my kids.  We could have insurance.  It only restricted what I owned before (he had nothing).  We have a house we own together and I have a mobile home I bought on my own.  I put any repairs on the mobile home to keep that clear.  He does pay lot rental.  I pay utilities.  I do pay for the other house we have together.  It is not that restrictive but can be protective when one has children and or money and the other has nothing and it can protect both their assets they had before but doesn't have to restrict anything they do together.  It has nothing to do with divorce unless you do divorce and then it just protects pre-existing property.  It can actually also indicate an amount of money that goes to another spouse as well that could be in addition to any split of common assets acquired after a marriage.Unless we were both just starting out, I'd want a prenup to protect anything I had before, and I did.  I also gave up alimony to marry him.  He offered to pay that in case of divorce,but I declined.

We have been married for 22 years.  We help take care of one another now because of health problems.  I have been a caregiver for him but he does things for me, too. 

by Gold Member on Oct. 31, 2013 at 12:55 AM
I don't agree with a pre nup, and I feel the same way that you do. I think signing a prenup is like saying that you are expecting to get divorced.

Whatever happened to "two becoming one" in marriage? When you get married, you combine your things with your spouses. What ever happened to trusting your spouse? Why set up a marriage for failure? Why when things get tough in marriage, do people automatically want to get divorced? Marriage takes work, love , and compromise.
by on Oct. 31, 2013 at 12:56 AM
1 mom liked this

Yep. That's my opinion though. If he doesn't trust me with his money then why should I trust him with my heart? In my opinion, my heart is much more valuable. :)

by Platinum Member on Oct. 31, 2013 at 1:29 AM
I have been with my husband for fourteen and a half years and married for twelve and a half years. He had nothing but a car(he still owed on it). I owned my own home and my car. We had very little money but regardless we would have signed a prenup in a heart beat if the other wanted one. We now own six personal vehicles, we own seventeen working show-rigs,trucking company and built our dream home eight years ago. Every penny and every material object we own was built on blood,sweat,tears and most importantly LOVE. We are very much in love still and a prenup would not have made a difference to either of us so yes we would sign one.
by on Oct. 31, 2013 at 1:33 AM
Wouldn't bother me at all to sign one if I agreed with the terms.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)