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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I don't tell my counselor the truth because I'm scared she'll call CPS on me. Edited.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 194 Replies

I love my son. He's the reason I do everything. I went to college and got multiple degrees, including a Master's, because it bettered his life. I think I'm a  very good mom to him. 

However, I'm pregnant again. I hate this fetus. I want it out-now. Everytime it kicks I yell, "Don't fuck kick me" to my stomach. I don't want it. I tried to get an abortion and they said I was too far along. I never wanted more kids, and I don't want this one. I was leaking fluid and went to the hospital and actually prayed it was dying. 

There was a brief time I was excited. I was excited because I was getting a second chance to do what I wanted like a natural birth, breastfeeding, cloth diapers...Now I have no interest in doing any of that. I've decided to go have another c-seciton cause it's not worth the pain of labor. I couldn't care less if it's breastfed or not. Excitement is gone and now it's just hate. 

I tried to get Essure in April. I go to my app and have my then fiance come cause he was to drive me home. He made a comment and the doctor wouldn't do it cause he said my fiance wasn't ok with it. I couldn't even look at my fiance after that. I thought he supported my decision. We broke up six weeks later. We had sex once in that time. I found out I was pregnant after we broke up. 

Now, I'm in counseling. I've told my counselor I'm putting it up for adoption because I don't want to be a single mother to two kids.I don't tell her it's because I hate this thing. I'm scared she'll call CPS cause she'll think I'm hurting my son. 

Before I'm bashed to hell for being a shitty parent, at least I'm putting it up for adoption and not keeping it. I know I'll always hate it and never love it. 

I feel guilty and ashamed. I don't get how I can love one child more than my own life and absolutely hate the other. 

Edit:

Some are saying I've posted this before. I haven't. I don't know the gender.I had an ultrasound but didn't want to know. The other post isn't me. 

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 30, 2013 at 10:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 30, 2013 at 10:02 PM
Hugs
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 30, 2013 at 10:05 PM

Thanks. I want to be able to talk about my feelings, but I know I'll be looked at like the worst mother in the world. 


Quoting Anonymous:

Hugs



Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 30, 2013 at 10:06 PM
Aw. My heart breaks for you. You're doing the right thing!
I think maybe you'll change your mind once you actually see the baby though, a lot of people do!
How are you going to explain to your child that you're pregnant but not bringing a baby home? That you're giving away his sibling? That's something I would be worried about
Leporard
by on Oct. 30, 2013 at 10:08 PM
2 moms liked this
You're doing the best thing for it by giving it up for adoption. It sounds like the stress is just too much for you, so please don't change your mind about adoption. Just keep in mind that its only for a few months, then it can go off somewhere else to be happy - no harm done.
Caera
by on Oct. 30, 2013 at 10:08 PM
4 moms liked this

Good for you for putting the baby up for adoption. You should be proud of yourself for making that decision, instead of keeping the baby, and raising him or her in miserable conditions.

paulswifey11
by TashaL on Oct. 30, 2013 at 10:08 PM
In your situation adoption seems best.
sandy201282
by Bronze Member on Oct. 30, 2013 at 10:08 PM
5 moms liked this

get some help...you might be having some major hormonal issues.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Oct. 30, 2013 at 10:08 PM
I'm so sorry you're going through this. Wishing you the best.
bowribbonmama
by Ruby Member on Oct. 30, 2013 at 10:10 PM
*hugs*
I don't think she'll think you're hurting your son.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
MichelleJ1000
by Silver Member on Oct. 30, 2013 at 10:10 PM
1 mom liked this
Did you use any type of birth control?

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