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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I don't know how to handle this

Posted by on Nov. 1, 2013 at 2:34 AM
  • 12 Replies
1 mom liked this
First, a little back story. My husband's sister and her husband have 2 sons ages 6 & 12. Last year they found out that a friend of the family had been molesting their oldest son regularly for about 4 years. They went through a whole trial and everything and he's serving time right now. My nephew is in therapy and seems to be doing well.

Now, I keep my 6 year old nephew "Z" (his little brother) before and after school every day. My 12 year old nephew picks him up when he gets off the bus each day around 4:30 and takes him home and watches him until their parents get home around 5:30.

I honestly never even considered being worried about the two of them alone together until I noticed some strange behaviours. My oldest son is 8 and loves wrestling. He kept telling me that Z kept grabbing at his crotch while they were wrestling and wouldn't stop when he told him to. I had to ban them from wrestling because he wouldn't cut it out. Every time my son goes to the restroom, Z follows him in there and tries to watch him. This morning my son was getting dressed for school and Z went to his room. Next thing I know, my son is yelling "No, Z!! Stop trying to touch my penis!!".

Would this be concerning to you? I want to talk to my sil, but I don't know how to bring up such an awkward subject. I don't want to sound like I'm accusing her older son of anything, but at the same time I don't want something to be going on and I don't say anything.

So, honestly, does it sound to you like normal little boy curiosity or does it sound like something should be addressed?
by on Nov. 1, 2013 at 2:34 AM
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Replies (1-10):
momofhnd
by Silver Member on Nov. 1, 2013 at 2:38 AM
Yes , Definitely needs to be brought up. If he is doing that with your ds imagine what he could be doing to his brother while the parents are gone.
our.love.story
by Platinum Member on Nov. 1, 2013 at 2:39 AM
You have a boy close to that age, ever dealt with anything like it from him? I would bring it up simply because of how persistent he is and the fact that he could really get in some trouble if he continued the behavior. I understand how difficult it will be to ask but, if something is going on, how much better would it be to stop it now? Good luck.
Lil_Wolf
by Bronze Member on Nov. 1, 2013 at 2:44 AM

I would have a sidebar with sil about this. Just simply say " The there have been some things that give me pause for concern about the boys. The other day, z went into  ds's room & ds was yelling for z to stop touching his privates. Unfortunately, this isn't the first time there has been an issue. I had to ask the boys to stop wrestling because of inppropriate touching & z tries to go to the bathroom with ds, which makes him uncomfortable."

Tell that in light of what the older boy went through, you want to make sure that z is alright & maybe z should see  a counselor just to be safe. If this causes a problem, such as them being in denial that anything is wrong, then tell her that for the well being of your own child(ren) you can no longer watch her kids. Sorry I can't offer any other advice than this. I hope it helps.

DevinAnnesmom
by Sarah on Nov. 1, 2013 at 2:45 AM
Yeah, that was my worry. I wonder where he learned this behavior and if his brother is doing something to him.

Quoting momofhnd:

Yes , Definitely needs to be brought up. If he is doing that with your ds imagine what he could be doing to his brother while the parents are gone.
DevinAnnesmom
by Sarah on Nov. 1, 2013 at 2:46 AM
Thanks :) No, my son's a pretty private person. This is the first time I've dealt with anything like this.

Quoting our.love.story:

You have a boy close to that age, ever dealt with anything like it from him? I would bring it up simply because of how persistent he is and the fact that he could really get in some trouble if he continued the behavior. I understand how difficult it will be to ask but, if something is going on, how much better would it be to stop it now? Good luck.
DevinAnnesmom
by Sarah on Nov. 1, 2013 at 2:48 AM
Don't be sorry. That's great advice. Thank you.

Quoting Lil_Wolf:

I would have a sidebar with sil about this. Just simply say " The there have been some things that give me pause for concern about the boys. The other day, z went into  ds's room & ds was yelling for z to stop touching his privates. Unfortunately, this isn't the first time there has been an issue. I had to ask the boys to stop wrestling because of inppropriate touching & z tries to go to the bathroom with ds, which makes him uncomfortable."

Tell that in light of what the older boy went through, you want to make sure that z is alright & maybe z should see  a counselor just to be safe. If this causes a problem, such as them being in denial that anything is wrong, then tell her that for the well being of your own child(ren) you can no longer watch her kids. Sorry I can't offer any other advice than this. I hope it helps.

momofhnd
by Silver Member on Nov. 1, 2013 at 2:49 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm.sorry I misread what you said. I thought it was the 12 yr okd doing this.. but yes still needs to be brought up. The oldest could be doing this to Z.

Quoting DevinAnnesmom:

Yeah, that was my worry. I wonder where he learned this behavior and if his brother is doing something to him.



Quoting momofhnd:

Yes , Definitely needs to be brought up. If he is doing that with your ds imagine what he could be doing to his brother while the parents are gone.
Thewife06
by Silver Member on Nov. 1, 2013 at 2:54 AM

Talk to the mom ASAP.  He could have also been molested earlier on or it could be his brother.  You just never know. 

DevinAnnesmom
by Sarah on Nov. 1, 2013 at 2:57 AM
I wondered about that too. If the "friend" had been molesting him too, but he was too young to say anything.

Quoting Thewife06:

Talk to the mom ASAP.  He could have also been molested earlier on or it could be his brother.  You just never know. 

csxt99
by Jennifer on Nov. 1, 2013 at 2:57 AM

It could be either one, but with the oldest boy's history, I would be very concerned.

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