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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Family reunion funds didn't include step kids

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 367 Replies
1 mom liked this

 

Poll

Question: What do you think is right?

Options:

Go, enjoy the time with your family as your great grandmother wanted

Stay home


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Total Votes: 485

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My great grandmother passed away a few months ago. She left her house and money to my grandmother, her only living child but for the rest of us, she left a family reunion, or funds for one that is. It was her wish that we would all go to Disney World for a week long family reunion.

The money my great grandmother left will pay for an annual pass for each person (we all live in FL so she was hoping this would be useful for us all for family vacations or even day trips later), hotel room(s) for the family, the meal plan for a week for each person (which includes 2  meals per day and 1 snack) and the  sit down dinners that we all meet for each night. In addition we will all be going to Cirque Du Soleil (amazing show that I have wanted to see for years) This pays for my grandma and grandpa, my mom and dad and my brothers and sister and me and our families and well as my mom's sisters and their families. It however, doesn't provide for step children (my DH's 2 kids and my cousin's 3 step kids and my aunt's step children and their kids). Me and DH have 3 children together in addition for his 2. Since our youngest will only be 1, the 5 of us can share a hotel room but there is no way we could fit his 2 (who are 12 and 15) in the room as well. So if we were to take them, we would have to pay for the extra hotel room for 6 nights, extra meals (my grandma said she could include the step kids in the dinners but there aren't funds to include them in the other costs) and 2 7 day passes and tickets to the show. This would mean that the vacation that was going to be free for us is going to cost us about $2000 which we really don't have to spend. On top of that, we would have to get his ex to agree to them going since it's a whole week and he only gets every other weekend. She is one of those that won't let them go but will barrate DH for going without them, she basically feels he should never do anything unless it is with them.

There is no way we could just go for less time and use some of the saved money on the step kids. Grandma is following the Will and booking everyone for a week, if we want to add more people, we can give her the money to pay for the additional room but that's it.

DH is actually considering not going. I am sorry but his kids go on vacation with their mom all the time there is no reason we can't go without them. This is for my side of the family, which their mother (and to an extent they themselves) has made clear, they are not apart of. I don't think our kids should have to miss out on this dream Disney Vacation.

The options at this point are go without them or no one goes.

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 2, 2013 at 11:41 AM
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Replies (1-10):
thenameshailie
by Ruby Member on Nov. 2, 2013 at 11:45 AM
5 moms liked this

I would go. Hopefully another visit with the step kids could happen in the future. If mom has a problem with, maybe she should pay for them to go.

Hanab818
by Ruby Member on Nov. 2, 2013 at 11:46 AM
15 moms liked this
If the bm and kids have made a point to say they are not your family, then why should they be able to enjoy a family vacation with a family they say is not theirs.


And if their mom wants them to go so bad she can pay for it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 2, 2013 at 11:47 AM
1 mom liked this
I think you should go and enjoy. I understand the difficulty in vacation planning with step kids, but your children should get to go and enjoy this "gift" as it was intended
faire_jour
by Ruby Member on Nov. 2, 2013 at 11:47 AM
5 moms liked this

You can fit them in the room. They are part of your family, and you are a terrible human being for considering not taking them.

Coconutty4Hubby
by Cafe Goddess on Nov. 2, 2013 at 11:48 AM
While I think you're being a cheap skate, because you're getting all this stuff for free, but you can't pay for two kids??.
Anyways, you do not always have to take your step-kids with you on vacations.
My mom and dad took me to Hawaii for my 10th birthday, without my step-sister and step-brother... There was no guilt.

Edit, we went with my step-siblings on vacations ALL the time! Like Panama City, to other states, and just boating and camping and such.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 2, 2013 at 11:48 AM

Thats what I think too. DH has no family in the area so on the holidays, we go to my families things, BM feels that since we are only going to my family's stuff, they should stay with her and go to her family's stuff. I mean I would agree IF DH wasn't going but since he always does, they are spending time with their dad.



Quoting Hanab818:

If the bm and kids have made a point to say they are not your family, then why should they be able to enjoy a family vacation with a family they say is not theirs.



Coconutty4Hubby
by Cafe Goddess on Nov. 2, 2013 at 11:49 AM
17 moms liked this
That is just not true. She is not a terrible human being for not taking them with her. You are an extremely judgmental human being, please do not pass that trait to you kids!!!

Quoting faire_jour:

You can fit them in the room. They are part of your family, and you are a terrible human being for considering not taking them.

AliKatAK47
by Meanie Pants on Nov. 2, 2013 at 11:49 AM
3 moms liked this

There is always one.

OP, I think you should go. Like you said. They have access to vacations all the time. Your kids shouldn't have to miss out because of them. Leave them with their mother, and go enjoy a family vacation. 

Quoting faire_jour:

You can fit them in the room. They are part of your family, and you are a terrible human being for considering not taking them.


An0nym0use
by Rock Lobster on Nov. 2, 2013 at 11:49 AM
That's a tough spot. I would still go, and if my husband didn't want to because of his kids, that's his choice. But I wouldn't miss my family reunion on account of them.
alexsmomaubrys2
by Ruby Member on Nov. 2, 2013 at 11:50 AM


Quoting thenameshailie:

I would go. Hopefully another visit with the step kids could happen in the future. If mom has a problem with, maybe she should pay for them to go.


”Nonsense wakes up the brain cells. And it helps develop a sense of humor, which is awfully important in this day and age.” - Dr. Seuss. 

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