I love both my children dearly, but I have always felt that my 20 month old was off. He is a horribly difficult child. He's never been playful or sweet. He throws horrible tantrums and literally made me an alcoholic. I get drunk every night when they go to sleep because he stresses me to the maximum. I love him and I show him so much attention that my 3 year old gets jealous and gets upset. I found out today that he is autistic. He doesn't talk or even look at me. He has been starving himself for a week and we just left the ER and that is what the doctor suspects. I was hoping his tantrums were just a phase, but knowing this is forever is too much for me. I am divorced and have absolutely NO friends or family as I have been so depressed since he was born. I feel like someone else could take better care of him, because I know I don't have the mental strength. Even the daycare he goes to can't handle his tantrums. What do I do?