Now, we've been together 5 years. We have 2 kids. He's smoked pot since we met and it didn't bother me a whole lot then. But the problem is, he gets caught with it pretty frequently. He's smoked for 10yrs and has been caught 6 times. 3 in the first 3 years we were together. We live paycheck to paycheck so he doesn't really spend much money on it. Usually he smokes when his friends offer. But ALL of his friend are F-ing potheads! Everytime he's been caught while we've been together, he's told me he's quitting. Throws everything out and it only last 2 days TOPS because his friends call him up to see if he wants to smoke so he does because he has nothing else in common with them. They are all a bunch of losers. He has anxiety so meeting new people is a joke. All of my friends are couples but he won't hang out with them because he doesn't know them. And I feel like a third wheel without him so I don't even get to hang out with my friends much. The anxiety he has is just another reason he smokes.
The last time he got caught with it, he actually quit. For 6 months. It's a long story but in the end, he started back up again. Those 6 months were the best of our relationship. He was home a lot more and interacted with the kids more. A couple months ago I told him he had to stop. I was having panic attacks because I was always terrified he would get caught again and it would up root our family. He said he would but, for the first time, he was really crappy about it. Slept on the couch and sent me a video of him flushing what he had. He told me he was fine, but didnt act like he was fine. And he never stopped then. Still hanging out with his loser friends who do it every day. But now he's trying to hide it from me. He's lying and erasing text messages about it. He thinks he doesn't have a problem. Obviously he is dependent to some degree. I've been trying to find work but jobs are hard to come by where I live. I feel like I need a job that pays well enough that I can support my kids and myself the next time he gets busted. I'm still having panic attacks and the stress from this is affecting every aspect of my life. I have no patience with the kids. I find myself screaming over the littlest things. Then breaking down and crying because I know that it's all because I don't know how to help him get off the drugs. And the only issue I have is that its illegal. I've suggested moving to a state where its legal, but he refuses because we would be SO far from family. I don't know what else to do. Has anyone dealt with this? How did you get the other person to accept that they had a problem and get the help they needed?