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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

just need to vent...long

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 14 Replies

So. My fiance and I are finally getting married. We picked a date and a reception venue which is a beautiful elegant hotel. This weekend, we read an article that the hotel was purchased by DoubleTree by Hilton and they are planning a multi-million dollar renovation done by July (we're getting married in September). Normal people would probably thing that's great. That their wedding will be even more stunning. No. Not my brain. I go straight to thinking: What if they completely change the ballroom and the grand hallway? What if they take down the gorgeous chandeliers...what if they take down ALL of them (there are a LOT and they are big and sparkly and half the reason we picked this place? What if they make it more of a modern style hotel? What if..what if..what if. So then I think to myself about prices...so I frantically read the contract we've already signed and delivered to them. All prices are mentioned in the contract...so that was a load off my shoulders.

So I calm down from that freak out.

Then I call my mom. I tell her about this...and she is less than encouraging. She makes it very clear that I need to call the banquet manager ASAP and make sure I know what will and will not impact my wedding and how I better demand my deposit back if they're changing the whole hotel and it's not going to be something I want anymore. Then proceeds to remind me that "we cannot help you pay for this wedding". So I ask "I thought you and dad said you'd help with about 5,000" (which they did say...MONTHS ago). "That is not what I said. I said that was going to be your wedding gift..you are on your own for the wedding"....WHAT! I had to get off the phone before I just lost it. Before I do though, she suggests we take out a loan. Um no. Not going to get approved. We just bought our house in May and I can't even get approved for a blance transfer on my credit card that I want to not have interest to pay for awhile.

I got off the phone and just started bawling. BAWLING. This whole wedding is becoming way more of a hassle than I'm willing to deal with.

Then today, I find out my healthcare is QUADRUPLING per month. FREAKING QUADRUPLING. I'm going from paying about 50 a paycheck (every 2 weeks) to over 200 a pay check. And because we're in such a low cost bracket...we literally have no other options as far as Obamacare. I'm screwed.

So then I instantly start to freak out. We are never going to be able to afford this wedding. We have only half of what we need saved for just the reception and we will need about 2000 on top of that for the rest of everything else. My fiance keeps telling me we'll be fine and we'll figure it out and he is always right about this stuff but I just can't help but to have a meltdown. I am broke all the time as it is. I do not make much at my job, he makes enough to make up for that but it's not enough for us to save 8000 in less than one year. I just am out of ideas on how to cut costs. I stopped buying anything extra. We eat out...never. I am so sick of something else happening every single time I think "yeah, we can do this". WRONG.

I need to win the lottery. End of story.

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 4, 2013 at 1:04 PM
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Replies (1-10):
HumanBeing
by on Nov. 4, 2013 at 1:06 PM
Don't have the wedding then. Or maybe have it in someone's backyard? Your backyard?
peanutsmommy1
by Ruby Member on Nov. 4, 2013 at 1:08 PM
1 mom liked this

is your wedding about one day, or the rest of your lives together?

scale it way back

my.sonshine
by Silver Member on Nov. 4, 2013 at 1:11 PM
1 mom liked this
Just breathe. You and your fiance will figure it out. Everything will be fine.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 4, 2013 at 1:11 PM
1 mom liked this

Postpone the wedding or downsize it big time.  There are ways around an expensive wedding.  :/

In the case that you are worried about the deposit at this place, demand your money back since it won't be what you originally put the deposit down on.  If it went on a cred card, dispute the charges  to the cred card company if the place gives you a hard time. 


TeamWillis06
by Bronze Member on Nov. 4, 2013 at 1:14 PM
1 mom liked this
We went to the courthouse and a party later. So much less stressful and we didn't go bankrupt either.
Just remember that it is about the two of you. Save the money and go on a trip.
vegaswife2011
by LMAO on Nov. 4, 2013 at 1:14 PM

And that's why we snuck off to Vegas! IMO, it's not about the venue, it's about the people. Hugs and good luck mama.

davnrori
by Platinum Member on Nov. 4, 2013 at 1:18 PM

 Get married at the courthouse and then have a reception/party either at your house or somewhere more affordable. Your wedding is one day. One. You shouldn't be paying for ONE DAY for 5-10 YEARS. Believe me, the memory of that day will eventually become tainted when you realize that it is the source of all of your financial woes for the next decade. Your marriage will be no more special if you spend $20K than if you spend $60. You will be unable to celebrate anniversaries, take vacations, or have birthday or Christmas gifts because you will be busy paying off the wedding. Why start your lives together with that kind of financial burden? Are you trying to get divorced?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 4, 2013 at 1:20 PM
Justice of the Peace. $100.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Nov. 4, 2013 at 1:20 PM

I got married at a wedding chapel after hours, only three people there. I wore a dark blue dress. I was super upset because it wasn't the wedding I wanted. :(

Sixteen years later it really doesn't matter anymore. DH and I are super happy and just as married.

crazygirl907
by Silver Member on Nov. 4, 2013 at 1:23 PM

Then get married at the courthouse. Don't have a wedding you can't afford.

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