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Losing the Delivery Room battle

Posted by on Nov. 4, 2013 at 8:29 PM
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My daughter is apperently "losing the delivery room battle". She wants myself and her husband in the room with her, and that's it. But apperently her mother-in-law wants to be there too, and she's pitting her son against my daughter. My daughter is rather annoyed because, as she puts it, "this is such a Karen thing to do!" 

Would you be annoyed if your mother-in-law invited herself into the delivery room, even though you don't want her to be there?

by on Nov. 4, 2013 at 8:29 PM
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by on Nov. 4, 2013 at 8:30 PM
31 moms liked this
I'd tell her to enjoy the waiting room.
by Anonymous 1 on Nov. 4, 2013 at 8:32 PM

When I went into labor with my second, it was a very long, hard labor, and no pain meds because my doctor simply refused to come check on me. My husband was freaking out, and called his mother (who we BOTH can't stand) to come be in there with him. Grr. 

by anonsneednotreply on Nov. 4, 2013 at 8:33 PM
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Maybe you both ought to wait. Why is it fair for one grandma, but not the other? And they shouldn't be arguing over grandmas. They should be a united front and tell both of y'all what they want. Did you ever stop to think that maybe your SIL doesn't want his MIL in there either?

Ugh, this is why we didn't tell anyone when we had ours. We wanted it to be just us, but knew that others would want to be there if they knew when I was in labour.

ETA: since my reply seems to be the one to love to hate, let me say a few more things to clarify:
1. Did you ever stop to think that maybe the dad doesn't want his MIL in the delivery room? He's the dad and it's his child too. He should have a say.

2. Where did you all give birth?!? No one HAS TO be down there lol. Wtf is wrong with you???

3. The husband should be more than enough support. What is the point of getting married if you aren't each other's biggest supporters through thick and thin? You've left the nest and created a life... Time to grow up and cut the cord. Your husband should be your rock, and the one to hold your hand... Not your mommy.

4. The husband is important in the delivery as well. How on earth do you think the baby got there? He deserves the same respect and say. I'm very grateful that my husband and I have mutual respect of one another and are willing to help each other out. It's obvious by some of these replies that many of you aren't. I feel bad for you.

5. The birth is about the baby, not the vagina. You're off your rocker if you think people are coming to the hospital to see you! They want to see the baby. No one is worried about your vagina except your doctor.

6. Personally, I'd make everyone wait. But, if my husband felt strongly about his mother being in the delivery room, she would've been there.

7. If the delivery is a c-section or a situation where they know beforehand that there will be complications, the less people, the better... Including both grandmas.

by on Nov. 4, 2013 at 8:34 PM
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While I do believe it's her choice, I do also find it pretty petty to invite one grandma yet not the other.

by on Nov. 4, 2013 at 8:35 PM
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I'd love if she could make it. I'd call security if my mother showed up. I feel for your daughter. My SO's mom, grandma, papa, and my sister were all there while I was laboring. It was frustrating because the medication didn't work properly, and not a single person would listen to me saying I only wanted SO and his mom there. This time I'm telling my midwife that I don't even want my information available to anyone who calls, or asks to visit until I'm ready.
by on Nov. 4, 2013 at 8:35 PM
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It's my vagina so I dictate who is there while I give birth.
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 4, 2013 at 8:35 PM
17 moms liked this
Whoever is giving birth makes the decisions. Period. She is the most important person in this equation.
My MIL wanted to be there, I simply didn't call her when I went into labor.
by on Nov. 4, 2013 at 8:36 PM
1 mom liked this
Why do you get to be there? And not MIL isn't she just as much the grandma?
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 4, 2013 at 8:36 PM
Mine tried to do that. I firmly said no, but it didn't stop her from trying to walk in before I even delivered the placenta.
by Anonymous 4 on Nov. 4, 2013 at 8:36 PM
7 moms liked this
It's ultimately your daughter's decision. You're daughter is the one having the baby, not her MIL. If she doesn't want her there, then she'll just have to wait in the waiting room. This isn't about her. It's rather rude for her to try to invite herself into the room.
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