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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Mommy.... Why doesn't Grandma like me????

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 82 Replies

My mother and I have never gotten along for the most part throughout my life. We barely talk and I barely see her even though she lives in the same town.

My mother has four total grandchildren. Three of whom she spends time with, get's gifts, has overnight sleepovers, picks up from school, takes to lunch, shopping, etc...

However my mother has never made an effort with my daughter. So the other day my daughter who is around her cousins all the time when they are talking about Grandma and all the stuff they get to do with her, asked me "why doesn't Grandma like me?" It broke my heart:(

My question is do you think even if my mom and I don't get along she should make an effort with my daughter? Or should I just let it go?? Or should I be the one to push her to have a relationship with my daughter?? I am at a loss here...

Advice welcome. Please no bashing ladies.

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 6, 2013 at 3:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
HumanBeing
by on Nov. 6, 2013 at 3:36 PM
I cut off the no good grandparents.

In your case I would talk to grandma and give her the opportunity to make changed before cutting her off.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 6, 2013 at 3:39 PM

I never let my kdis around my mom because of almost exactly this. My mom always hated me and favored my brother. When his kids were born she drove 26 hours to his home but couldn't drive 8 to see me.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 6, 2013 at 3:40 PM

 It wouldn't bug me so much if it were just me, but it hurts my daughter... Then I get angry!!


Quoting HumanBeing:

I cut off the no good grandparents.

In your case I would talk to grandma and give her the opportunity to make changed before cutting her off.


 

daughteroftruth
by on Nov. 6, 2013 at 3:41 PM
2 moms liked this

 yes, she should make an effort, but you cannot force her too.  I would talk to your mom about how your dd feels.. maybe that will open her eyes.. if not.. i say adopt a grandma.. seriously, there are plenty of older woman out there that would love to dote on a little girl as if they where her own.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 6, 2013 at 3:41 PM

 Holy smokes!! Me too! My mom has always had a dislike for me all my life. I have no idea why?? She treats my sister and her kids like gold..And can't be bothered to do anything with my daughter.


Quoting Anonymous:

I never let my kdis around my mom because of almost exactly this. My mom always hated me and favored my brother. When his kids were born she drove 26 hours to his home but couldn't drive 8 to see me.


 

Sarahb21
by Silver Member on Nov. 6, 2013 at 3:41 PM

 We cut of my DH's Mom who was like this, but we cut her off before our kids were aware of the situation (they were 4 and 2). She hasn't even met our now 4 yr old. We weren't about to let our kids be treated like crap by his Mother the way he was treated by her.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 6, 2013 at 3:44 PM

 My daughter is fortunate to have another Grandma who loves the heck out of her:)


Quoting daughteroftruth:

 yes, she should make an effort, but you cannot force her too.  I would talk to your mom about how your dd feels.. maybe that will open her eyes.. if not.. i say adopt a grandma.. seriously, there are plenty of older woman out there that would love to dote on a little girl as if they where her own.


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 6, 2013 at 3:46 PM

 It's so hard because she is really close to her cousins and they talk about her all the time and it's not fair to her.


Quoting Sarahb21:

 We cut of my DH's Mom who was like this, but we cut her off before our kids were aware of the situation (they were 4 and 2). She hasn't even met our now 4 yr old. We weren't about to let our kids be treated like crap by his Mother the way he was treated by her.


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 6, 2013 at 3:47 PM
If you two don't get along why would you expect the effort with your child?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Nov. 6, 2013 at 3:48 PM

When I was growing up my dads parents completely cut me off when my parents divorced.  It was AWFUL.  I was 7.  My dad never said a word to them...just let them come visit and would reschedule time with me because they didn't want to see me.  My step siblings had gifts under the tree from the grandparents...I had stuff under the tree with their names and different handwriting.  It hurt.

 

I would talk to your mom.  Tell her how much it is hurting your daughter.  Tell her you don't expect to be best of friends...but you hate to see your kid hurting when she sees the other grandkids getting special time.  Make sure she knows it isn't about gifts or money...just time.

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