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Mom’s Stance on Coddled Kids Is One We All Need to Hear - Do you agree with her?

Posted by on Nov. 8, 2013 at 9:28 AM
  • 234 Replies
6 moms liked this

Mom’s Controversial Stance on Coddled Kids Is One We All Need to Hear

by Kiri Blakeley

A mother named Stephanie Metz has hit a nerve with her blog post titled "Why My Kids Are NOT the Center of the World." In it, she has some pointed things to say about the kinds of kids we are bringing up now -- ones who think the world centers around them, who believe that mommy and daddy will always be there to spare them any pain or difficulty, and who are, in fact, probably not very well equipped to  controversial.handle the bumps and bruises that life is bound to throw their way. I think we need to listen carefully to what this mom of two boys has to say, because she is dead on. Some of it, however, is pretty controversial.

Stephanie writes:

Modern parenting and thinking makes me crazy. The young generations of today (yes, I sound old. I realize I'm only 29 years old.) are being taught that they shouldn't have to ever put up with anything doesn't make their hearts feel like rainbow colored unicorns are running around pooping skittles onto piles of marshmallows. Modern parenting is creating a generation that's not going to be able to function in society.

Oh, my goodness. So true. And it's actually very scary. In my opinion, a lot of the gun violence we see today -- like the LAX shooter, and the New Jersey Paramus Mall shooter, are young troubled men who couldn't handle life. Couldn't handle not always getting what they wanted; couldn't handle life not always being "fair" to them. Sure, mental illness could be involved. But we seek around for clues to mental illness and conveniently ignore the fact that most of the men who have gone on shooting sprees were also supremely unhappy. You can find them in any school, any vocation, any town.

Unhappy because life isn't what they expected. Life isn't like what their parents told them it would be -- parents who storm into schools demanding special treatment for their kids; who sue anyone who looks at them wrong. Stephanie continues:

Your child, who you cater to every need, who you shelter from all things "evil." How will this child react when he or she grows into adulthood? "Debbie" graduates from high school and goes to college. She writes her first paper and meets with her professor about that paper and the professor tells her that it's junk and it will get a failing grade. How will Debbie cope with that if she's always been made to feel that no one should ever make her feel sad, or criticize anything she does?

"Donna" graduates from college and gets a job -- you know, in the real world. She has to work on a committee to come up with a marketing plan. She shoots out an idea, and it gets immediately turned down. What is she to do? Go home and cry because no one liked her idea? Quit her job because she can't handle rejection?

Well, exactly. Children need to learn how to deal with uncomfortable feelings, and if they never learn that -- never learn how to self-soothe, how to ride tumultuous thoughts, and that anger and humiliation dissipate and that it isn't the end of the world if someone thinks you're stupid or ugly -- then they just aren't going to know how to deal when life inevitably throws some shit their way. They then turn to alcohol, prescription drugs, or even violence or suicide.

Some of what Stephanie says is a bit controversial -- such as the fact that bullying is normal, and that teenage girls shouldn't be punished for acting like teenage girls. I disagree. I'm glad bullying is finally getting some attention and not just seen as an acceptable part of childhood as it did when I was young. However, I do think that more attention should be paid to teaching kids how to constructively handle bullying and the ensuing negative emotions, rather than just focusing on zero tolerance for the bullier.

Stephanie concludes with some gems of wisdom, saying:

These gentlemen [her boys] will understand that there are about a gazillion people in this world. While they are incredibly special to me and my family, they are not special to the world.  That probably sounds terrible, but people! It's the harsh truth, and it needs embraced!

Amen, Stephanie. Preach, girl.

Do you agree with what Stephanie is saying?

by on Nov. 8, 2013 at 9:28 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Nov. 8, 2013 at 9:30 AM

My niece is experiencing this now with her college professor...she's going home crying every day because of his critique of her work...and my niece is in her 30's

D.O.E.
by on Nov. 8, 2013 at 9:34 AM
16 moms liked this
Thats pretty much how I see it.
Im not raising little boys.
Im raising young men, it is my job to make sure they do indeed grow up to become functioning adults
sweetaspie630
by on Nov. 8, 2013 at 9:35 AM
4 moms liked this

She is right on about everything except the bullying. We are a doomed society if it keeps going the way it is now. Everyone now is so selfish and entitled and kids have NO discipline or limits... It's scary.


PinkButterfly66
by Emerald Member on Nov. 8, 2013 at 9:36 AM
27 moms liked this

She's an idiot.   The gun violence we see today is either because of lack of parental involvement (aka gang related violence) or mental illness.  I love how people think that just because they have a blog, they're an expert on something.

Krysta784
by Dani on Nov. 8, 2013 at 9:37 AM
9 moms liked this
I agree. I also agree that the bullying problem is exaggerated. Teasing is normal. But coddled kids think simply teasing is the end of the world and get depressed over it. Seriously, let it go!

A name doesn't hurt you. The opinions of others can't change who you are.

This is why I poke fun at my own kids. Teasing is a normal part of growing up and kids need to learn to laugh along with it. Not hang themselves in their room because Susie called you fat.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 8, 2013 at 9:38 AM
9 moms liked this

Totally understand!  

We have to prepare them for life, not just give them everything we think they will ever need.  From clebrity babies in cashmere blankets and toddlers in heels, to high schoolers driving $50,000 cars and wearing $500 on their feet, we are as a society focusing on all the wrong things.

SpnFulOfSugar
by Emerald Member on Nov. 8, 2013 at 9:39 AM
I completely agree.
bleumonster
by Ruby Member on Nov. 8, 2013 at 9:42 AM
For the most part yes. I don't charge in if my child is being treated unfairly, immediately. I let them work it out or if its not hurting them, tell them thats the way life is sometimes. Either live with it or try to change it yourself especially when they get older.
rgba
by Ruby Member on Nov. 8, 2013 at 9:43 AM
4 moms liked this
This. Warm, loving parents will serve their kids well no matter how they parent. Kids learn largely through observation.


Quoting PinkButterfly66:

She's an idiot.   The gun violence we see today is either because of lack of parental involvement (aka gang related violence) or mental illness.  I love how people think that just because they have a blog, they're an expert on something.


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garnet83
by on Nov. 8, 2013 at 9:44 AM
7 moms liked this

 I agree 100%. I also agree with the bullying statement to a degree. Kids are kids. Parents SHOULD teach kids to be kind. But, alas, they aren't always kind. And neither are adults. Kids can learn from this. As adults, they will encounter bullies...in a different context, but bullies all the same.

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