My sister has two children. They just turned 5 and 7. We will call them Lynn (5) and Garrett (7). My sister and their father have been divorced since Lynn was a baby. They are now both remarried. My sisters husband is an amazing step Dad to both of them. They love him and my sister and have repeatedly asked to live exclusively with them on several occasions. Their sm has always been hateful to my sister. Even when my sister honestly did her best to get along, sm would just be as spiteful as possible. Here are some examples.
Sm told Lynn that when she is riding in her car that she is only to address get mother by her first name. Not to call her mommy.
When the kids see their mom at sporting events, sm rushes them away to the car so they don't get to hug their mom or say hi.
On an exchange day, sm sent the kids to school in shorts and short sleeves when it was 40 degrees out. When my sister asked why she did that she said she sent them in play clothes so my sister wouldn't steal their nice clothes. (This one really bothered me because she made the kids freeze to death just to be a bitch to my sister).
She tells the kids that they aren't allowed to say ''i miss mommy'' or ''i want my mommy''. If they do she spanks them.
Those are just a few examples that don't even scratch the surface. They have 50/50 custody. Dad is never there because he is always working. If they are at his house they are with sm 90% of that time. It just breaks my heart because she is so hateful to the kids and to my sister. I'm sure my sister hasn't been a perfect angel in the situation either, but you can only be poked so many times before you bite, ya know? Should she try to get primary custody? How would some of you bm or sm go about it?
Also, I have nothing against step parents, this one just happens to really suck.
ETA: If you are just going to comment and tell me you don't believe me or I'm biased or something like that, please refrain... I understand that some of you feel that way, and that's fine. I'm not lieing or making anything up, I'm looking for advice. So, if you have advice, please give it. If you don't have advice, please move along.