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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I need help

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 59 Replies

I made some big mistakes.  Dh was laid off last summer.  He looked and looked for employment, but couldn't find anything he could do that wasn't minimum wage.


He was actually saving us money at the time by not working so that we wouldn't have to pay for childcare.  Childcare in this area costs $250 a week.  Minimum wage pays that...BEFORE taxes.


Well, then we had another child, and now my income cannot keep us afloat.  We are rapidly sinking deeper and deeper into debt as we rack up the credit card bills.  But how else are we to pay for groceries?


Here's where the mistakes come in.


We decided that since he can't get a job with just his good looks and high school diploma, he'd go back to school.  He picked an accredited program with the local community college that has a 97% graduation rate and a 100% job placement rate within 6 months of graduation.  So, we took out a student loan to pay for school and living expenses while he was in class.  I co-signed on it to help get a better interest rate.


And...now he's failing classes.


If he repeats his classes, that's more student loans to take out.  If he quits school and just gets whatever job he can, that's a pretty fat payment we won't be able to make because childcare will cost more than what he'll be making.


I bring in 2800 a month.  450 of that goes to utilities.  The rest is all debt, which if I were to only pay minimums on, would amount to 2230 a month (2 mortgages, 2 credit cards, and 2 student loans).  That leaves $120 a month to pay for groceries, gas for the car, any medical expenses, other incidentals, and the $270 student loan payment of his that will be due 6 months after he stops going to school.


I make too much to qualify for any assistance programs even with claiming him as a dependent, so leaving him isn't a financially responsible decision, because that'd make me even more ineligible.  Plus, I co-signed on all his debt sooo...it wouldn't even reduce my bills.


Let's get past the...I should not have married a man who was satisfied with a mediocre high school diploma if I wanted financial security lecture.  And let's get past the...what the hell was I thinking co-signing on a loan.


What can I do now?  


I'm under contract with the cable, the internet only costs me $40 a month (and we had it because he was doing online classes while staying home with the baby), and I need the cell phone for work and overall communication (I do not have a landline).  The heat bill, electric bill, and water bill are non-negotiables because we have children.  We already operate on a minimum with those.


How do I get out of this mess???




Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 8, 2013 at 12:09 PM
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Replies (1-10):
blsdbyangel07
by Evil Food Lady on Nov. 8, 2013 at 12:14 PM
Not sure just wanted to say hang in there! Eventually things will get better. Best of luck & hugs to you mama!
Caera
by on Nov. 8, 2013 at 12:15 PM

Help him study.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 8, 2013 at 12:16 PM


Quoting blsdbyangel07:

Not sure just wanted to say hang in there! Eventually things will get better. Best of luck & hugs to you mama!

Thank you.  I need a hug.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 8, 2013 at 12:17 PM
1 mom liked this

seek financial counseling

suzanneyea
by Ruby Member on Nov. 8, 2013 at 12:17 PM

Why is he failing?

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 8, 2013 at 12:20 PM


Quoting Caera:

Help him study.

I'm doing my best, but the math is killing him.  I don't understand how he doesn't understand.


I'll give him a problem like y = 1 + 2, and ask him, what is "y?"  And he'll say "1."  And I'll say, "no, it's 3.  Because 1 + 2 is 3.  Let's try...x = 4 - 2.  What is x?"  And he'll say "4."


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


And then I lose my patience.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 8, 2013 at 12:20 PM

How?  From whom?  Where?

Quoting Anonymous:

seek financial counseling


LilyofPhilly
by Platinum Member on Nov. 8, 2013 at 12:21 PM

Default on your loans, let them take your house, ditch your DH and start over. Or if you have any equity in your home, put it up for short sale. You're not going to get out of this unscathed. At least if you stop paying two mortgages, you may have some money to start your life over.

Caera
by on Nov. 8, 2013 at 12:21 PM

Maybe see about an online math-help program. A lot of them are free, and offer very good examples. Try googling "solving for the variable" "explanation" (like that, with the quotation marks) and see if there's something that might help.

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting Caera:

Help him study.

I'm doing my best, but the math is killing him.  I don't understand how he doesn't understand.


I'll give him a problem like y = 1 + 2, and ask him, what is "y?"  And he'll say "1."  And I'll say, "no, it's 3.  Because 1 + 2 is 3.  Let's try...x = 4 - 2.  What is x?"  And he'll say "4."


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


And then I lose my patience.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 8, 2013 at 12:22 PM
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Quoting Anonymous:

How?  From whom?  Where?

Quoting Anonymous:

seek financial counseling




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