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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Close to reaching my limit with SD's mental illness - UPDATE

Posted by on Nov. 9, 2013 at 11:24 PM
  • 166 Replies
1 mom liked this

I'm close to reaching my limit. The constant ups and downs and SD's violence are really starting to get to me. I don't know what is just normal adolescent behavior and what is the start of a rage anymore. I worry that every little thing is going to blow up. I'm tired of being hit and threatened. I'm tired of her taunting my dog. I'm tired of chasing after her. I'm tired of cleaning up after her. I'm judged constantly. I'm mostly numb to it but sometimes I feel a little embarrassed to be seen in public with her and then I feel like shit because what kind of mother would feel that way?

We've spent thousands of dollars on treatment (and more on repairing/replacing damage she has caused) that she refuses to participate in. The police come out and submit petitions but the courthouse refuses to sign off on them because she is mentally ill, not a delinquent. The doctors all say she needs to be in residential and call her a treatment outlier but since we can't afford it and don't have medicaid or tricare no one will admit her. The school says they're going to do xyz but they don't. We've gone to therapy. I've taken parenting classes and attended support groups. I'm constantly advocating for her. She hates me so much. I know it's transference but it still stings.

It is just a matter of time before she hurts herself or someone else or makes a bad choice that will forever negatively impact her life. I'm doing everything I can but nothing has helped for more than a few weeks. I'm starting to feel angry and bitter. I don't want to have to lock my bedroom door at night anymore. I've lost friends because no one will bring their kids around her, which I understand.

The last couple of weeks have been okay. DH and I work really hard to meet her needs and look out for triggers. She's only snapped three times this week but I can tell we're heading for trouble after tonight. She wanted me to listen to a song and I told her I didn't want to because it is about violence. That was all it took.

I guess I'm just venting. I don't really have anyone else to say this to.

**Update on page 12**

by on Nov. 9, 2013 at 11:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
LaughCryLive
by Ruby Member on Nov. 9, 2013 at 11:26 PM
1 mom liked this
Oh wow. I hope she gets treatment soon.
jorjiegirl
by Silver Member on Nov. 9, 2013 at 11:27 PM

I think u live at my house for real...your sd sounds like mine

littlesippycup
by Ruby Member on Nov. 9, 2013 at 11:28 PM
1 mom liked this

=( I have nothing useful to offer you but an ehug. I'm really sorry.

ivegotrhythm
by Gold Member on Nov. 9, 2013 at 11:29 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm so sorry. You are obviously trying so hard. I have nothing to offer but prayers for you.
Mrs_W
by Silver Member on Nov. 9, 2013 at 11:31 PM

What is her mental illness?

idk if I missed it or you didn't type it, sorry

Suzy_Sunshine
by Gold Member on Nov. 9, 2013 at 11:31 PM

I am so sorry, that sounds incredibly difficult. 

Jodee24
by Gold Member on Nov. 9, 2013 at 11:32 PM
Hugs and prayers momma!
HIJKLM
by Ruby Member on Nov. 9, 2013 at 11:33 PM
I'm sorry mama. Have you thought about family therapy or just you? I know someone who got therapy for herself as well as her son. Her therapist has helped her understand her son better, cope with her own feelings, find new methods to cope, and sometimes just to vent. It's worth a try.
xElizabethx
by Silver Member on Nov. 9, 2013 at 11:41 PM

She has Bipolar NOS (not otherwise specified). She has also been diagnosed with ADHD and ODD but I've been on the fence with those for a while. The only aspect of ADHD that we see is impulsive behavior. I think some of her issue IS behavioral but is likely exacerbated by the bipolar and puberty (which is when all of this started). She was also severely neglected as an infant so she didn't form a healthy bond with her mother while DH was deployed.

Quoting Mrs_W:

What is her mental illness?

idk if I missed it or you didn't type it, sorry


xElizabethx
by Silver Member on Nov. 9, 2013 at 11:42 PM

How do you deal with it?? She puts everything off on everyone else and whenever someone does manage to explain something so she gets it or if she is caught red handed she just snaps. Yesterday she smashed sushi in my face and then threw it all over the house because I looked at her while she was eating it.

Quoting jorjiegirl:

I think u live at my house for real...your sd sounds like mine


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