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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Only way I can safely BF ...

Posted by on Nov. 10, 2013 at 1:20 AM
  • 70 Replies

... is to take a tranq and an anti-psychotic. I've been having HUGE problems BFing. Nothing to do with LO or supply issues but with me. I become a completely different person while in the act I'm violent, throw things, scream, and have the most awful thoughts of hurting my baby. ONLY while BFing the rest of the time I'm fine. I've talked to two doctors and a therapist and they've all agreed that the safest way for me to BF is to go back on my meds from when I was committed 6 years ago. I have an anxiety and panic disorder though I've been managing un-medicated for years. I've spoken to a LC and the meds are mostly safe.

The thing is these meds turn me basically into a vegetable, I sleep for up to 18 hours a day, can barely walk because they affect my blood pressure (ones a beta blocker), have periods where I just sit staring into space for hours and can't remember doing it. I'm not allowed to drive or work, can barely be left alone while on them. My LC and one of the doctors are saying that I should do this and that 12 months is such a small period of time in the scheme of things. The doctor is even offering to write up the forms so that I can get disability during this time. The thing is I'm so scared of going through this again. I would have to put my 2 1/2 year old in full time daycare and organize for someone to come and check on my 4 times during the day while SO is at work to make sure that I'm feeding and changing the baby.

SO just wants me to go onto formula and leave it at that, and I'm tempted to agree with him. However I don't know if I could live with the guilt of not at least trying.

by on Nov. 10, 2013 at 1:20 AM
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Replies (1-10):
.PinkHart.
by Platinum Member on Nov. 10, 2013 at 1:22 AM
1 mom liked this
If all this is true, I would formula feed.
TG3
by Silver Member on Nov. 10, 2013 at 1:23 AM


Its true .. why would I need to lie?

Quoting .PinkHart.:

If all this is true, I would formula feed.



.PinkHart.
by Platinum Member on Nov. 10, 2013 at 1:23 AM
How do you BF if you sleep 18 hrs a day? How can you safely parent a newborn when you space out?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Nov. 10, 2013 at 1:23 AM

As someone who got triggered badly from bf'in, I agree with your so. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 10, 2013 at 1:23 AM

Could you pump?

.PinkHart.
by Platinum Member on Nov. 10, 2013 at 1:23 AM
Idk people do all the time.


Quoting TG3:


Its true .. why would I need to lie?


Quoting .PinkHart.:

If all this is true, I would formula feed.





Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 10, 2013 at 1:24 AM

This seems like one of the situations where formula is a great option! 

SarineLewis
by Bronze Member on Nov. 10, 2013 at 1:25 AM
I would switch as well. If bfing and the meds make you psycho (no offense, just what it sounds like) then maybe formula would be best. If you're like that alone (on meds) then how can you care for the baby?
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Nov. 10, 2013 at 1:26 AM

Riiiiiiggghhhhhhtttttt, okay then.

yo_ho
by Silver Member on Nov. 10, 2013 at 1:26 AM

Um yeah, I would FF.

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