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"People want to marry a virgin, just like they want a virgin toothbrush or stick of gum."

Posted by on Nov. 12, 2013 at 9:11 AM
  • 117 Replies

Sex Ed Curriculum Shames Teens Into Staying Virgins

by Lisa Fogarty

My goodness, is it difficult to be a young girl coming to terms with her sexuality. If you have sex, you're a slut. If you don't have sex, you're a prude and the guy you like will just dump you for someone who puts out, a girl who is, if you recall, a slut -- which you don't want to be, or you may want to sort of be, but only in the right circumstance. Luckily, young women can always turn to their elders for advice and rely on the compassion and logic of wise folks like their teachers and mentors.

Unless you live in a certain school district in Texas, where tweens are being taught in sex ed classes that they are kind of like wads of chewing gum or dirty toothbrushes if they do the deed. Now that should make young people feel better about themselves!

Worksheets from the sex education curriculum being used in the Canyon Independent School District were leaked online recently. The overall message teachers are expected to relay to both their female and male fifth, sixth, and seventh grade students is jarring.

Now, let me first say that I'm familiar with curricula that promotes abstinence over sexual activity, and I'm all for it when the information is provided in a sensitive, empowering manner. But these worksheets suggest that teachers tell children things like, "People want to marry a virgin, just like they want a virgin toothbrush or stick of gum." Another worksheet says that having sex can be "physically, emotionally, and financially harmful" and that young people should treat their bodies like "locks, fences, and stop signs." 

Do they honestly feel they are teaching children to view their bodies with respect? Or is it more important to them to promote in tweens an irrational fear of their bodies, sexual desires, and sex in general?

Without having access to every worksheet used in the district, it's impossible to say whether a more logical approach to sex is used at some point -- you know, one that gives the lowdown on STDs and pregnancy. But I'm pretty sure we can assume teaching about contraception is low on their priority list and that to do so would be to promote sex -- a no no. 

Instead, this curriculum uses shame to guilt tweens into keeping their legs crossed until marriage. It promotes the kind of bullying we see occur between teens all the time -- and what makes it repulsive is that it is coming from adults who are their role models and should know better. There are ways to teach abstinence that don't make young people -- particularly girls, who we know will bear the brunt of this -- feel as unworthy as chewed-up gum beneath someone's shoe if they choose to express their sexuality with a partner who hasn't put a ring on it. Messages like these don't cut it. 

What are your thoughts on this school district's sex ed curriculum?

by on Nov. 12, 2013 at 9:11 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Elle.tea.22
by Ruby Member on Nov. 12, 2013 at 9:21 AM
1 mom liked this
They can teach what ever they want at school. I will teach what ever I want at home.
Elle.tea.22
by Ruby Member on Nov. 12, 2013 at 9:22 AM
Hit submit too fast lol

I don't care if that's what they teach. Truth of the matter is my child will be a "slut" or a "Virgin" and it is their choice and theirs only. One day they might meet someone who may flake on them because she's a virgin or someone who won't want her cause she's a slut. She should be prepared for both.
ButterMeUp
by Butters on Nov. 12, 2013 at 9:25 AM
1 mom liked this

Lmaoooo, I saw taught with tape. The teacher pulled off several peices of tape. She kept one piece clean and the thers she rubs on various surfaces until no longer sticky. She then put the non sticky pieces together and when they didn't stic well she said "see how the two peices that are worn don't stick well together? Sex is the same way. The more partners you have the less meaningful it will be and you and your husband will drift apart." Then she took the clean peice to one of the dirty and when it stuck she said "see how purity will keep you together?" 

It was total bullshit. A few of my friends walked home with their BFs and had sex that same day. This was only 7th grade BTW.

*If you read my post and there are mistakes in my spelling or grammar please note that I never learned either in school and I am currently learning them now. If you see a mistake POLITELY point it out and I'll be more than happy to correct my mistake. Here's a fun little siggy for your enjoyment. *

amber3902
by Member on Nov. 12, 2013 at 9:25 AM
1 mom liked this

Yeah, tell a girl that sex is bad, that way when she gets married she'll feel shamed every time she has sex with her husband.      *sarcasm*

cybcm
by Platinum Member on Nov. 12, 2013 at 9:27 AM
Now that takes me back to 80s sex ed classes.
mommaponch
by Gold Member on Nov. 12, 2013 at 9:27 AM
1 mom liked this

If there was any evidence in the decades that abstinance only has been shoved that it was actually working maybe it would be ok.  But every single study and statistic proves that abstinance only is the worst way to actually keep teens safe, besides never teaching them anything at all. 

Children do not learn by fear and shaming. No one does.

amber3902
by Member on Nov. 12, 2013 at 9:28 AM
3 moms liked this

Yeah, my SO told me a lot of his friend would marry virgins,  Then, ten years and two kids later the wife starts to wonder if the grass is greener on the other side and has an affair. 

I'm not saying a woman should sleep with everything that moves, but you have to have a few experiences so you know if the man you're with is one you want to be with. Otherwise, you'll always be wondering what else is out there.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Nov. 12, 2013 at 9:45 AM
1 mom liked this

DH and I have only slept with each other but we still find this kind of behavior ugly. It's not ok to think of sex that way.

Autumn07
by Kat on Nov. 12, 2013 at 9:49 AM
1 mom liked this

I suppose I have more value or worth than a toothbrush or a stick of gum.. lol

Lordgodempress
by Gold Member on Nov. 12, 2013 at 9:52 AM
3 moms liked this

I disagree that people want to marry virgins.  I married a virgin and teaching him everything has been exhausting.  LMAO.  

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