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Christmas gifts and grandparents

Posted by Anonymous
  • 42 Replies
I have 3 children ages 3,5,&13. My 13yr old is my husbands step-daughter. Every year his mom will go all out for our youngest two (her biological grandchildren) but not for my oldest. She usually gives my oldest $50 and a box of candy. She just sent me a list of what all she bought the kids for Christmas. She spent about $500 each on the 3&5 yr old. She said she would give my oldest money as usual. Last year my oldest noticed the difference and asked why they got so much compared to her. I know she will notice again this year.

They all have October birthdays. My oldest usually got $50 but this year she got $15. My 3&5 year old got about $300 worth of stuff each.

I'm not usually one to add things up but we are talking a huge difference and it's upsetting the oldest. I completely understand her feelings.

My kids have plenty. PLENTY. I've mentioned several times that they really don't need anything and that we have a savings account they could contribute too if they wanted. I understand wanting to get them at least one toy but why not just put the rest in savings.

Is there anyone else who has been in this type of situation? How would you handle it? What would you tell the oldest? I feel like I need to go over and beyond for her for Christmas and not get very much for the 3&5 yr old. But at the same time I don't want them thinking I do more for my oldest.


I do put together a nice basket for my oldest and everything in it is something we can do together. I get movie tickets, restaurant gift card, shopping gift cards to her favorite stores, mani/pedi gift certificate, etc. Then we will go do all those things together and spend some one on one time together.

I think she is just not feeling the love from my husbands family and it upsets me.
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 13, 2013 at 10:54 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 13, 2013 at 10:59 AM
1 mom liked this
Id tell my husband to take care of it lol...and if things didnt change i wouldnt be accepting any gifts from her for any child.
by Ruby Member on Nov. 13, 2013 at 10:59 AM

Bump for you, my DS is the only young grandchild on both sides (I have a 22 year old niece)

by Emerald Member on Nov. 13, 2013 at 11:02 AM
Tell your husband to talk to his mother. That is not right. At all
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 13, 2013 at 11:04 AM
I'm sorry! I have 2 stepchildren that DH and I have had custody of since we got married almost 8 years ago. They are 9 and 11 now and I can't imagine how they'd feel being treated that way. My family has embraced and accepted them as if they are mine since day one.
My mom does do a little more for my dd (3.5 months) at times but never in front of them.
Such a tough situation. I think your best bet is to have your husband talk to his mother. If that doesn't work refuse the gifts...they have to respect your wishes as the parent to these children.
by Anonymous 4 on Nov. 13, 2013 at 11:06 AM
Poor girl! I know it's not the money or gifts that upset her but the fact that she's treated differently. That makes me sad :(
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Nov. 13, 2013 at 11:07 AM

That sucks

Ask DH to talk to his mom. EVEN if the child isn't her biological grandchild she shouldn't blatantly show favoritism for her bio grandkids. I know I would never do that even if I did have a non-biological grandchild.

by Laura on Nov. 13, 2013 at 11:07 AM
Does she get stuff from her dad's side of the family? It's sucks but blended families are not always fair.
by on Nov. 13, 2013 at 11:08 AM

This is cruel of her to do. You could have DH talk to her and have her either return some of what she spent and even things out or I would personally open the packages and see how they are divided up and return the rest to her. She does not care about hurting a child's feelings I sure as hell would not be worried about hurting hers. This needs to stop now.

by on Nov. 13, 2013 at 11:08 AM

 That's really tough.. :( BUMP

by on Nov. 13, 2013 at 11:10 AM

I really don't see the problem. 

You had to know coming in to this that your daughter isn't your husband's and that his family does not have to accept her as such. They are allowed their opinion. 

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