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I seriously need some advice ASAP!

Posted by Anonymous
  • 46 Replies

In order to get the best advice possible I need to give a bit of a back story. I have a 16 yr old son that I have always raised on my own. His father has never been a big part of his life, even when I have begged him to be. I have always been there for my son. And almost 2 yrs ago his father passed away. He has always had anger and control issues, my son that is, but it became way worse when his father passed away. I also have younger children, one of which is a 14yo dd. And these two have never been able to get along. Well, the other night he got angry with his siter and started choking her. So she bit him on his hand to get him turn her loose. And he got angry at me for breaking them up and he started saying things like he wished I had died instead of his Dad and I deserved it all the times his Dad beat on me. Now mind you I have never told him the stories of what his Dad did to me because I got out of that marriage when he was young enough to not know what had gone on. But family members on both sides of the family have told him stories and expressed concern that he may one day end up like his father because of his anger. And he's a very big 16yo. He plays all sports and is on the weight lifting team. He benches 300 and squats 545.

Now here is what I'm needing the advice on. He was angry because I split him and his sister up and he punched 4 holes in the bedroom door and ran away to his girlfriend's parents house. And to keep from getting the law brought into it and possibly social services because of it being a physical altercation between those 2, I let him go over there thinking it would be for one night only. But he's now refusing to come home.

What would be the best thing to do? Go ahead and call the cops and make him come home or maybe give him another night or 2 to cool off and then try getting him to come home again? I'm seriously not wanting to ruin his future of football or college by getting the cops in his life. But I'm wanting my son back home! I'm so confused and lost right now. I seriously don't need anyone bashing me or telling me what a screw up I am as a mother. Just some advice is all I need. And prayers, if you're the praying type.  Thanks in advance to anyone that will be kind enough to reply with some advice.

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 13, 2013 at 11:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Nov. 13, 2013 at 11:53 PM
7 moms liked this

Id be calling the cops and pressing charges against him for choking his sister and I assure you the cops would put him in his place. I would also ban the benching and sporting until he learns to control his temper and start seeking anger management sessions. Which of course YOU should have had him in it a long time ago.

by on Nov. 13, 2013 at 11:54 PM
1 mom liked this
Is he in counseling for anger management? Could he be on steroids?
by on Nov. 13, 2013 at 11:56 PM
that's rough, OP. first, I'm sorry your family is going through this.
I think it's time to involve the police. your son needs help... counseling for his anger problems, figure out three root of this. your family has a bunch of assholes for putting him through the stories and telling him so much.
your daughter may need counseling, too. it can be very rough when there's so much tension at home.
big hugs. stay strong.
by Member on Nov. 13, 2013 at 11:56 PM
Make a therapy appointment and go have the cops bring your son home. Your son needs help and someone objective to talk to.
by Ruby Member on Nov. 13, 2013 at 11:57 PM
Report him as a runaway and get him into counseling.
by Platinum Member on Nov. 13, 2013 at 11:57 PM
1 mom liked this
Prayers for you, and. I really mean that .. Also praying this isn't me in a few years.
by Platinum Member on Nov. 14, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Is he in therapy?
by Platinum Member on Nov. 14, 2013 at 12:02 AM
2 moms liked this
You need to call the police. Your son tried to kill his sister, that isn't something to just ignore and him get away with.
by on Nov. 14, 2013 at 12:02 AM

Maybe he needs to be in one of those scared straight programs. I understand being angry, especially at 16, but he knows better. Get him help.

by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 14, 2013 at 12:02 AM

I will say to not call the police,if you can contact him or go to his friend's house to talk to him to come home.

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