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I seriously need some advice ASAP!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

In order to get the best advice possible I need to give a bit of a back story. I have a 16 yr old son that I have always raised on my own. His father has never been a big part of his life, even when I have begged him to be. I have always been there for my son. And almost 2 yrs ago his father passed away. He has always had anger and control issues, my son that is, but it became way worse when his father passed away. I also have younger children, one of which is a 14yo dd. And these two have never been able to get along. Well, the other night he got angry with his siter and started choking her. So she bit him on his hand to get him turn her loose. And he got angry at me for breaking them up and he started saying things like he wished I had died instead of his Dad and I deserved it all the times his Dad beat on me. Now mind you I have never told him the stories of what his Dad did to me because I got out of that marriage when he was young enough to not know what had gone on. But family members on both sides of the family have told him stories and expressed concern that he may one day end up like his father because of his anger. And he's a very big 16yo. He plays all sports and is on the weight lifting team. He benches 300 and squats 545.

Now here is what I'm needing the advice on. He was angry because I split him and his sister up and he punched 4 holes in the bedroom door and ran away to his girlfriend's parents house. And to keep from getting the law brought into it and possibly social services because of it being a physical altercation between those 2, I let him go over there thinking it would be for one night only. But he's now refusing to come home.

What would be the best thing to do? Go ahead and call the cops and make him come home or maybe give him another night or 2 to cool off and then try getting him to come home again? I'm seriously not wanting to ruin his future of football or college by getting the cops in his life. But I'm wanting my son back home! I'm so confused and lost right now. I seriously don't need anyone bashing me or telling me what a screw up I am as a mother. Just some advice is all I need. And prayers, if you're the praying type.  Thanks in advance to anyone that will be kind enough to reply with some advice.

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 13, 2013 at 11:51 PM
Replies (41-46):
by Platinum Member on Nov. 14, 2013 at 1:27 PM
Do we have an update?
by Anonymous 9 on Nov. 14, 2013 at 1:30 PM
He is an abuser and he needs to be punished for it. You let him get away with that shit now and he will be beating his wife and kids someday. Quit coddling
by on Nov. 14, 2013 at 1:30 PM

 prayers going up for your family

by Platinum Member on Nov. 14, 2013 at 1:41 PM

1. you call the cops.

2. you get in him counseling.

3. you realize that football is NOT more important then being a healthy human being.

by on Nov. 14, 2013 at 1:47 PM

I'd call the police. I'd let the coaches know why he isn't playing anymore. Does his gf's family know what he did? 

by on Nov. 14, 2013 at 1:50 PM

 This. I understand your not wanting to ruin his future, but he will not have much of one if he stays on the current path he is on.

Quoting thetrollcat:

Id be calling the cops and pressing charges against him for choking his sister and I assure you the cops would put him in his place. I would also ban the benching and sporting until he learns to control his temper and start seeking anger management sessions. Which of course YOU should have had him in it a long time ago.


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