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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

IT'S OK TO LET YOUR KIDS FAIL!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 17 Replies
1 mom liked this

SS is in his first year of middle school and failing EVERY core class... Math, Science, Social Studies and Communication Arts. He understands all of the subject matter and material... it is more of an organization issue and motivational issue.

*I* have tried everything to get him organized, get him motivated, and do my best to keep up with his homework, tests, etc. But I cannot do it all, and SS doesn't care. I have little help from DH and the school thinks I don't do anything because he is failing so epically. BM doesn't give a shit and I have another child in the 1st grade who also struggles and needs my help equally as much. However, I find myself spending most of my evenings "babysitting" SS. Therefore, my DD's needs are all but neglected and today, while doing homework, I realized she cannot even recognize the number 20!!!! Time to turn my attention...

I grew up with an alcoholic father. And while I am not comparing my dad's issues to that of SS, what I learned from my childhood is that you CANNOT help someone who doesn't want to be helped. SS doesn't want to be helped, and therefore, I have decided (and even notified SS's teachers) that I have all but given up. I cannot dedicate my time to SS's school work when he has no intentions of putting forth any effort. That would be like me going to work every day without the expectation of getting paid!

So, I say let him fail. Let him do 6th grade all over again. Let him learn what it's like to stay back a grade while the rest of your friends move on! Or to be "that" kid who screwed up so royally that he'll be the 19 and a half year old student at graduation.

Nothing more I can do...

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 14, 2013 at 12:05 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ladymaleficent
by Gold Member on Nov. 14, 2013 at 12:08 AM
Ummm kinda messed up...
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 14, 2013 at 12:10 AM
That is the way I am feeling right now with my 3rd grader. But I refuse to give up.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 14, 2013 at 12:10 AM

 

why? What I have been doing is the very definition of insanity... doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. And the insanity has nothing to do with my actions, rather the lack of action taken by SS and everyone else around him. I have done nothing but try.

Quoting ladymaleficent:

Ummm kinda messed up...


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 14, 2013 at 12:12 AM

Stop doing the something and come up with something that will motivate him. Are there consequences?? 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 14, 2013 at 12:13 AM

 I would keep going if I thought I was making any difference at all. DH doesn't help and BM could give a shit less. I have a DD who also struggles and needs my help but it is impossible for me to split my time between the two. It's not an issue of understanding for SS.. he gets the material and does well when he applies himself. He just chooses NOT to apply himself! DD, on the other hand, is behind. She needs me now more than he does. His success is in his hands at this point. I can't make him care.


Quoting Anonymous:

That is the way I am feeling right now with my 3rd grader. But I refuse to give up.


 

KennyPooPoo22
by Ruby Member on Nov. 14, 2013 at 12:15 AM
Could there be an underlying issue that you don't know about? I failed 7th grade on purpose. I was constantly being bullied by my female class mates for being a slut (virgin, hadn't even had a bf yet). It was awful.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 14, 2013 at 12:15 AM

 Nothing motivates him. I have tried rewards. I have tried consequences. He responds to neither. He has been grounded for at least 3 months... has no life outside of home and school. We have given him opportunities to earn "play" time and he trashes every opportunity we give him. He has lost all privilages and trashes every chance to earn them back.


Quoting Anonymous:

Stop doing the something and come up with something that will motivate him. Are there consequences?? 


 

bustybee
by Buzz Lightyear on Nov. 14, 2013 at 12:16 AM

I honestly don't blame you. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 14, 2013 at 12:16 AM
I understand really I do. Mu son has spd and he knows the work. But when it comes to homework it is a 2+ hour fight. Then I have 2 dd's that need my help woth homework also. It just stresses me out.


Quoting Anonymous:

 I would keep going if I thought I was making any difference at all. DH doesn't help and BM could give a shit less. I have a DD who also struggles and needs my help but it is impossible for me to split my time between the two. It's not an issue of understanding for SS.. he gets the material and does well when he applies himself. He just chooses NOT to apply himself! DD, on the other hand, is behind. She needs me now more than he does. His success is in his hands at this point. I can't make him care.




Quoting Anonymous:

That is the way I am feeling right now with my 3rd grader. But I refuse to give up.



 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 14, 2013 at 12:16 AM

 Nothing has been brought to our attention. SS seems to have a very normal social life at school


Quoting KennyPooPoo22:

Could there be an underlying issue that you don't know about? I failed 7th grade on purpose. I was constantly being bullied by my female class mates for being a slut (virgin, hadn't even had a bf yet). It was awful.


 

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