My birth mom would want me but thought I was to much of a hassle cuz I kept her away from her gambling addiction.
So my birth dad would take me in whenever my birth mom didn't want me. My step mom hated that he did that. But he felt that he had to.
My step mom was all about appearances back then and demanded I call her mom. But she never acted motherly towards me. Their children were always more important and she made sure that I knew where I belonged in the family dynamic. (For example, when they had family pics taken I was to go to the photo shoot but was never allowed in the pics).
I never had much of a relationship with my birth dad, step mom made sure of that. I've heard family and family friends always tell me that she was jealous of me. (There's really more but I've already written so much already).
But now that my birthdad has been diagnosed, he has kind of reached out to me. He hasn't apologized for anything. But I think he's looking for forgiveness. I know that I should let all of the bullshit go, not necessarily for him but for me. To give myself the peace and happiness I deserve to be able to move on.
How do I forgive? How do I forget? How do I go from here when now he's starting to act the way he did all those yrs ago? I know that he has a lot on his mind with treatments and such but ... I just don't know where to go from here.
Anyone have some advice on how I deal with this? Sorry for the rambling on and on. Thanks for reading.