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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I think I have a problem.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 72 Replies
My kids and I live in two houses. My SO lives in one house. My mom, my cousin and my mom foreign exchange student in the other. We all use to live at my moms but my SO wants his own place. Understandable. Here's the catch for the last almost five years I have been my moms, for a lack of a better word, housekeeper. I moved in with her with my kids on the understanding I would clean, repair, and care for her house as pets. I also take care of my cousin (very little now she is 19 and mostly just needs someone to talk to) and my moms foreign exchange student. My mom travels 4-5 days a week.

My SO lives a half a mile down the road. When my mom is home we stay with him, unless it's a school night then only the little ones stay with him and I go over after the older is at school. Also some nights the kids go there just to hang out with him even if I don't go.

I clean both houses and do the laundry for both houses and most of the cooking for both houses. I'm sure you can tell by now I don't work a lot.

So here's the issue. I applied for a full time job that pays double what I make now. I can still take the oldest to school and I would be home shortly after she got off the bus. This job comes with benefits and paid vacation and sick leave. Everyone is flipping the hell out. SO is flipping out that the younger ones will have to go to daycare. My mom is flipping out in general over everything that won't get done if I am working 40 hours instead of 16.

Do I go for it anyway and just tell them to get over it and adjust. Or pull my application and continue what we are doing?
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 14, 2013 at 10:32 AM
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Replies (1-10):
KT1525
by Bronze Member on Nov. 14, 2013 at 10:43 AM
1 mom liked this
If it will better you and be good for your family in the long run then I'd say do it. Maybe try sitting down and explaining to everyone that this is something you want to do for you. Good luck.
SunshneDaydream
by Platinum Member on Nov. 14, 2013 at 10:45 AM

I work 40 hrs/week, sometimes more, and I still get stuff done.  It's called DAYS OFF.  If you have 2 days off a week, use one for housework and one for family stuff.  It can be done.  You should do it. 

SunshneDaydream
by Platinum Member on Nov. 14, 2013 at 10:46 AM
4 moms liked this

Sounds like your mom is worried about the stuff that won't get done around HER house. Tell her to hire another housekeeper, you need to do this for YOU. 

CorpCityGrl
by Platinum Member on Nov. 14, 2013 at 10:47 AM

If it's better for you and your family, then do it.  Sit down and really talk about it with your SO.  To be honest with you, this current arrangement you have sounds a bit like you are being used and THAT is not fair to you or to your family.  Your family deserves a cohesive family unit.  It doesn't even really sound like it's truly necessary for you to be doing what you are doing for your mother and that it's almost like you fell into it and she takes advantage of it.

Start living your life with your family.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 14, 2013 at 10:47 AM
1 mom liked this
Oh no! SO and mom might have to help clean???? Pull that app!
mojogirl
by Gunnery Sgt Hartman on Nov. 14, 2013 at 10:47 AM

why can't your mom hire another housekeeper? or get the 19 year old to earn her way around the house by doing some work?

i think you need to do what you think is best for you and your kids and everyone else can stfu... my two cents

cdb7519
by Bronze Member on Nov. 14, 2013 at 10:47 AM
1 mom liked this
Sounds like you are taking care of everyone but you. You have to consider your own happiness too. I would sit down and consider alll bthe negatives of both situations as well as the positives. And go from there. Good luck.
JZB
by Gold Member on Nov. 14, 2013 at 10:49 AM
You need to take care of your family your mom needs to take care of hers
lancet98
by Platinum Member on Nov. 14, 2013 at 10:50 AM

Keep in mind that if you and your husband divorced, they would also have to make other arrangements.

You should keep that in mind too.... 

mymomisthebomb
by Bronze Member on Nov. 14, 2013 at 10:51 AM

 Good lord, your living two lives! That alone is a full time job! No way would I do it! I have my own family that in itself is enough to take care of! I would quit juggling it and pick one house and take care of one or the other! I dont see any time for another job in your life right now! Sorry!

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