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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Help! How do we handle our crazy Christmas obligations?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 28 Replies
As the holidays are quickly approaching I am starting to feel the usual anxiety that haunts my family every year! I wonder if some of you have this same issue and might have some new and fresh ideas on how to handle it. Here is the problem: Our Christmases are exactly like that movie Four Christmases. We end up running ourselves ragged for two days straight going to see my husband's family and my family which end up being four separate locations all about an hour away from each other. One thing that complicates it more is that his family celebrates until midnight or later on Christmas Eve (a family tradition) and my family celebrates early Christmas morning. This means we (our daughters are 4 and 7) only sleep 5-6 hours before heading out to the next family gathering. We have tried explaining the situation to both families and asking them to compromise but it always ends up in resentment and feelings being hurt. One year, we went away for the holidays and my girls were sad they didn't see their Grandparents and we also endured resentment from both families. Last year was the straw that broke the camel's back. We made it to all the family obligations as difficult as it was and still managed to upset both families that we came late or did not stay long enough! Help, do any of you experience this type of crazy Christmas? How do you handle it?
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 14, 2013 at 12:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
AuntieM
by Gold Member on Nov. 14, 2013 at 12:06 PM
Have it at your house and invite them.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 14, 2013 at 12:26 PM

Quoting AuntieM:

Have it at your house and invite them.

That is a great idea. We tried that one year but our families did not get along at all. I think it is a better options than driving around like crazy though. Thanks!
peanutsmommy1
by Ruby Member on Nov. 14, 2013 at 12:27 PM
1 mom liked this

do what we are doing

my DS, DH and I are saying fuck it to everyone and going away for Christmas!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 14, 2013 at 12:29 PM

Quoting peanutsmommy1:

do what we are doing

my DS, DH and I are saying fuck it to everyone and going away for Christmas!


I am pretty close to doing that even though my daughters may not be too happy. Thanks!
peanutsmommy1
by Ruby Member on Nov. 14, 2013 at 12:32 PM


Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting peanutsmommy1:

do what we are doing

my DS, DH and I are saying fuck it to everyone and going away for Christmas!


I am pretty close to doing that even though my daughters may not be too happy. Thanks!

my grandma died in July and watching my parents, aunt and uncle all act like spoiled children was the straw that broke the camel's back

the three of us will be spending a peaceful christmas in the Smokey Mountains

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 14, 2013 at 12:35 PM
That sounds awesome! Maybe we'll see you up there!
tlcory
by Platinum Member on Nov. 14, 2013 at 12:36 PM

I would just have it at my house, have DH's family on Christmas Eve and yours Christmas Day! 

cjsix
by Platinum Member on Nov. 14, 2013 at 12:38 PM
Tell them each that you have obligations to your own family now...your husband and children and that you want to start some of your own traditions as a family and though you want to include the extended family gatherings in those new traditions you are not able to stay as late as everyone else nor be there as early. Let them know it is very difficult on your children and not fair to them to have such a special day marred by being tired and grumpy(little ones are frequently grumpy when tired).You should be able to celebrate Christmas by waking up at home and enjoying some time with your children while they open their stockings and gifts before having to leave. Let them know you will come Christmas eve and stay till 9pm and you will be there at noon on Christmas.If that's not ok then you will be staying home with your children and enjoying a quiet and peaceful holiday.Trust me they may not like it this year but,in a year or so it will be the norm.
Marimaru
by on Nov. 14, 2013 at 12:41 PM
1 mom liked this

Tell them you're staying home.  "We're starting our own traditions this year.  We'll be out in the afternoon on Christmas Eve, and again in the afternoon on Christmas day, but Christmas Eve night and Christmas morning is at home."

umm.yeah
by Bronze Member on Nov. 14, 2013 at 12:48 PM

Maybe say one year you celebrate Christmas eve with his family and stay as long as they want you to and then your family comes to you on Christmas day.  Then the next year his family comes over Christmas eve but only stays til a resonable time and Christmas day is spent with your family.  Whe my kids were little, I stayed home and told people to come to me - so much easier

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