So I found a nasty surpise in my garage today . A stash of marijuana. About 10 joints, some empty bags and some weird metal disk that has obvious residue on it. It's my dh's. I strongly suspected he has been smoking again, but he turned it right back on me when I asked and made it about me as in"since when are you such an expert on the subject" and was crabby the rest of the night.
This is not okay with me and he knows it. It's not something I have ever been okay with. I am pretty naive on the topic so I am wondering how much does something like this cost - 10 joiints, cigarrette length but half as thick? This might explain where a lot of our money is going. I've been beyond frustrated by his responses to the missing money, beyond angry that I know that something was happening but I could not get straight answers.
This is not okay with me, others can do it but not my dh. We have kids together, I do not want them to stumble upon this, I don't want them to think it's okay. What a F@cking hyprocrite my dh is to preach about don't do drugs but to do it himself!! I have zero respect for that.
I think the biggest issue I have is the money. I am so tired of putting myself last, of saying no to the kids, of having a super tight budget and trying to balance bills and stuff. I also hate how he sounds and acts when he has been smoking. It's so obvious to me. I hate that he has driven home like that. I hate that he thinks this is okay.
I am seriously lost here. Been there done that and this issue never seems to go away. Great dh in every other way but this, but not being able to rely on someone to do what's best for their family is really heartbreaking.