But now, it just pisses me off.
Yes. I'm pregnant. Yes. My belly sticks out. No, you can't rub it. Last time I checked, I wasn't Buddha (even though you so rudely insinuated such).
You cannot rub my belly. It will not bring you luck, or fortune. It can't bring you love, and no there's no weird fertility magic to gain when you touch me. It will, however have a high chance of bringing you pain or discomfort by either a verbal or physical variety.
That is all.
ETA: Hey, I'm featured! Awesome! (totes my first time)