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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

So frustrated...long post...money issue with the husband

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 11 Replies
I have been married for almost 8 years now. My husband and I have separate bank accounts as well as a joint account for bills and house stuff. He continues to bug about closing our individual accounts but and just keeping the joint one open as well as our savings. I refuse to as I do not agree with his spending habits. What I found out today completely (in my eyes) justifies why I think it's best to keep them separate.
This genius decided to buy not 1 but 2 Playstation 4's and an XboxOne. I get it's his money out of his account but I do not see the necessity of buying those game systems when we have a 4 month old daughter that is growing out of everything and custody of his children.
Since our daughter has been born everything she needs has come from my account or my mom. When I told him that he said, "well how am I supposed to know she needs stuff." Um...I don't know maybe when I say I'm going to the store with her to buy x, y and z should kinda be a clue as to what she needs!
On top of that he makes his kids think that the only way to be is to have the newest and best stuff. I like nice things but I do not feel the need to over indulge and do not want to raise materialistic kids.
Am I wrong for being upset and irritated with him? Am I blowing this out of proportion being that we do have separate accounts and technically it is his money? I just feel that any large purchase should be discussed prior.
He gives me shit sometimes for going to do my eyebrows with MY money...it's only $15!! Not hundreds like these stupid game systems!
Ok rant over!
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 15, 2013 at 1:33 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 15, 2013 at 1:37 AM
Maybe instead of assuming he knows she needs stuff tell him you need money for her. He obviously is to clueless to know anything.

On the account matter, no don't share because he will just waste his money along with yours.
BekahBrownEyes
by NoLies on Nov. 15, 2013 at 1:37 AM
1 mom liked this
No I don't blame you for being pissed. I would be too. Yeah, yeah it's his money, but he still acts like I kid. I wouldn't combine money either!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 15, 2013 at 1:40 AM
I told him that's why I will not combine accounts and he said I'm being ridiculous. It's sad that I can't trust my own husband to not be irresponsible. I would love to be like most couples and have a joint account and a respect for each other and the money we both contribute.

Quoting Anonymous:

Maybe instead of assuming he knows she needs stuff tell him you need money for her. He obviously is to clueless to know anything.



On the account matter, no don't share because he will just waste his money along with yours.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 15, 2013 at 1:43 AM
My dh used to be like that, that's why ive never shared my earnings in the joint account with him... Now he has changed with his spending habits cause im a sahm now...so he is trying hard not to waste money, cause he knowd how tight a budget we are on.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 15, 2013 at 1:46 AM
I'm currently on maternity leave and will be returning to work next month. We have been debating having me be a sahm but his spending is another reason why I won't do it. I don't trust that he'd be responsible and keep us out of debt.
My last few months of work I didn't touch my money aside from using it to pay bills and have done the same with disability and paid family leave money so I have money saved but I don't want to touch it if I don't have to. He sees it as a big cushion to fall back on.

Quoting Anonymous:

My dh used to be like that, that's why ive never shared my earnings in the joint account with him... Now he has changed with his spending habits cause im a sahm now...so he is trying hard not to waste money, cause he knowd how tight a budget we are on.
SJG1013
by SJG on Nov. 15, 2013 at 1:49 AM
Can you set up a budget with him? Then tell him of you can stick with it then maybe you can just have the joint account?
Liz_Rocket
by on Nov. 15, 2013 at 1:53 AM
What's his reason for needing 3 gaming systems in one house?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 15, 2013 at 1:54 AM
I can definitely try. His idea of wants versus needs are stupid in my opinion.
He is so damn materialistic it drives me insane. It didn't bother me that much in the beginning and when we first started dating (we met in high school) but now that we have a child together it pisses me off.

Quoting SJG1013:

Can you set up a budget with him? Then tell him of you can stick with it then maybe you can just have the joint account?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 15, 2013 at 1:57 AM
His words "I'm a gamer." That's literally the answer he gave me when I asked.
My reason...he's a fucking idiot.
It's so weird because he has such a good career and very professional then turns into a damn 12 year old when it comes to stupid games and electronics.


Quoting Liz_Rocket:

What's his reason for needing 3 gaming systems in one house?
Liz_Rocket
by on Nov. 15, 2013 at 2:27 AM
Quoting Anonymous:

His words "I'm a gamer." That's literally the answer he gave me when I asked.
My reason...he's a fucking idiot.
It's so weird because he has such a good career and very professional then turns into a damn 12 year old when it comes to stupid games and electronics.


Quoting Liz_Rocket:What's his reason for needing 3 gaming systems in one house?




I would absolutely NOT close your individual account. Tell him he's welcome to close his, but you're not closing yours. DH and I have been happily married for 20 years with seperate accounts.

Do you guys split bills 50/50 for the joint household account?
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