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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

wwyd 12 yr old son and poor grades

Posted by on Nov. 16, 2013 at 7:22 PM
  • 44 Replies

My 12 yr old son is in 6th grade this year. Well second triad came and went and grades posted. 1 A-,1 nc, and 4 f' s. His grades are poor due to missing assignments. He has 2 teachers that will accept late work all the time. 1 will accept late work but only for certain time limit. The other teachers don't accept. Currently he's grounded from going outside and to friends homes. Well he's supposed to be. I let him out for 30 min a day. Was to hAve no electronics, but Dh allowed him 2 hrs a day on weekends and1 hr a day during the week. He has to spend 10-15 min a day on each subject with an f. Reading his text books, going over notes on top of home work. But I'm thinking now we are too lenient.  Right now he's grounded to his room for being disrespectful. And the boy takes it literal. He needs to use the bathroom but won't leave his room because he was told he can't leave. Even though he knows( and was told) he can leave to use the bathroom,eat and go to school. So what are some ideas on punishment for him? He acts and says he doesn't care if he loses anything. I'm really contemplating spAnking his. Butt.

by on Nov. 16, 2013 at 7:22 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Jamie1972
by Ruby Member on Nov. 16, 2013 at 7:23 PM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Nov. 16, 2013 at 7:25 PM
Is he depressed or something? Has he always been such a poor student?
LaughCryLive
by Ruby Member on Nov. 16, 2013 at 7:25 PM
Why didn't you know thy his assignments were missing before it got to this point? Is anything else going on with him? When I entered 8th we moved and I hated my science teacher (my favorite subject) and almost failed. So is he going the bathroom in his room? Idk what I would do since dd is only 6 and in 1st.
LokisMama
by Platinum Member on Nov. 16, 2013 at 7:26 PM
1 mom liked this

Get rid of his leeway.

No 30 minutes outside.  No 2-hrs on the weekends or 1hr during the week for electronics.

Take everything away.  He may say now that he doesn't care if he loses anything but if you stick to your guns, and take it all, he'll care.

AnnaBright
by on Nov. 16, 2013 at 7:29 PM
4Fs I don't think mine would see the light of day. However he is 11-12 and well above the age to be responsible for his school work. Personally id remove ALL electronics and would keep him on lock down until grades were at least B-C and if not grounding would continue and I would not fight for him to be promoted.
Jamie1972
by Ruby Member on Nov. 16, 2013 at 7:30 PM



Quoting Anonymous:

Is he depressed or something? Has he always been such a poor student?


He doesn't seem depressed. I think something is going on but he's not talking. He had decent grades until this year. Math for instance was his best subject. And always tested proficient or above. But now its one if the classes he failing.

Jamie1972
by Ruby Member on Nov. 16, 2013 at 7:33 PM



Quoting LaughCryLive:

Why didn't you know thy his assignments were missing before it got to this point? Is anything else going on with him? When I entered 8th we moved and I hated my science teacher (my favorite subject) and almost failed. So is he going the bathroom in his room? Idk what I would do since dd is only 6 and in 1st.


I supervise homework. So I know he does it. But why he doesn't turn them all in is beyond me. Like I said to a pp I know something is going on but he's not talking. 

handy0318
by Platinum Member on Nov. 16, 2013 at 7:35 PM

Spanking a 12 year old isn't a good idea... it will make him mad and not accomplish the purpose... the purpose being to get him to act more responsibly.

Being all in his business with his schooling from now on until he is self pacing and taking responsibility for his work will accomplish that. You need to get with his teacher and ask her what resources there are for you to keep tabs on all his work, how his grades are, how his classroom discipline is etc. etc. etc.

BTW...this isn't all that unusual behavior for 6th grade boys. I went through the same thing with mine when he was in 6th grade....good news is, as long as  you get on top of it now, by 8th grade he'll be pacing himself and keeping up on assignments just fine.  At least that was our experience. 

Jamie1972
by Ruby Member on Nov. 16, 2013 at 7:36 PM



Quoting LokisMama:

Get rid of his leeway.

No 30 minutes outside.  No 2-hrs on the weekends or 1hr during the week for electronics.

Take everything away.  He may say now that he doesn't care if he loses anything but if you stick to your guns, and take it all, he'll care.


Well after this afternoon that's what happening. I'm hoping after a few days of condiment he will start changing his tune. 

Panditacjp
by Bronze Member on Nov. 16, 2013 at 7:37 PM


That would worry me more than his grades. The fact that it is sudden, and his fav subject is now one of his worst. If he won't talk to you, I'd try to get someone else to talk to him, a therapist, his father, or other male family member you and he trust to get to the bottom of it. 

The sudden drop would worry me more than the grades themselves. That is a very common sign of abuse or trauma. Try to get to the bottom of it and deal with the root of the problem rather than the symptom. 

Did he go to a summer camp? When did you notice something seemed to be the problem? Was there any major recent changes in his life? A move, divorce, etc. 

GL... hope you find out what is going on soon. 

Quoting Jamie1972:



Quoting Anonymous:

Is he depressed or something? Has he always been such a poor student?


He doesn't seem depressed. I think something is going on but he's not talking. He had decent grades until this year. Math for instance was his best subject. And always tested proficient or above. But now its one if the classes he failing.



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