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How would you have handled this **eta in red**

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 7 Replies

This didn't happen to me, but my neighbor, she is called up by a mutual friend, (not someone she actually knows, but has met in passing a time or two) and asked if she would be willing to watch that persons kiddo before/after school.  She politely declined and said she doesn't do home daycare anymore, she is concentrating on college and is trying to graduate before her 3rd kiddo is born in the spring.  

Well, apparently that wasn't the right answer, now this mutual friend is being a total ass, has cussed her out repeatedly, is constantly texting her, calling her and being a bitch.  My neighbor is refusing to go to the girls chain of command (military) because she doesn't want anyone to get in trouble.  I told her that there comes a point that you HAVE to get the person in trouble for them to understand fully that they are in the wrong.  Especially if they are ignorant like this girl... 

My poor neighbor has been to the ER twice with stress related complications, so on the second time I told her husband to go to the girls command and let them know what the hell is going on.  He had no clue!!! She never even told him because she didn't want anyone to get in trouble!! Holy crap there is being nice then there is being a damn door mat!! So anyways he did, and I guess you could say this was the proverbial straw, cause she got paperwork over it (harassment) and on top of all the paperwork she has gotten in the past, her command said "enough" and they are giving her her walking papers (general under honorable).  Now my neighbor is mad at me for telling her husband.. and she is blaming herself for the girl getting kicked out... WTF martyr much?!??!  I give up.. we move in 6-8 months... I am over it, but

Do you think I did the right thing telling her husband??


For those saying "that was between her and her huband" she TOLD ME she told him, so when I advised he go to the other girls frist sergeant it was under the assumption he knew!!! I didn't know she hadn't told him

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 18, 2013 at 2:25 PM
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Replies (1-7):
vegaswife2011
by Emerald Member on Nov. 18, 2013 at 2:28 PM
2 moms liked this

I would have stayed out of it. That's between her and her husband.

EAzizM
by Erica on Nov. 18, 2013 at 2:28 PM
I would have done the same. It was affecting her health, dammit.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 18, 2013 at 2:29 PM
1 mom liked this

If she didn't tell her husband she was being harrassed, then it seems like they don't communicate well within their marriage.  As for your question, no I would not have told her husband.   Thats her job.  If she didn't want him to know its not your place to step in.  just my opinion.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 18, 2013 at 2:33 PM

I would have told her husband. She can blame me all she wants, but I don't think harassing someone is right and should be dealt with.

SageAdvice
by on Nov. 18, 2013 at 2:34 PM

They fact you're asking if you did the right thing, shows you are feeling guilty and know the answer to that question and need validation that, No, you didn't over step the fucking line of friendship and you need a pat on the back to make yourself feel better, But you did over step, but then you already knew that right?.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 18, 2013 at 2:44 PM


No, actually I don't feel the least bit guilty over it.  Nor am I asking for "validation" for what I did.  She can be mad at me all she wants, I am frustrated with the common thing I see in young mothers her age the whole martyr bit.  Seems to be pretty common in the young 20 somethings who marry someone in the military.  Not saying all, but I see plenty of it she is the perfect example. 



Quoting SageAdvice:

They fact you're asking if you did the right thing, shows you are feeling guilty and know the answer to that question and need validation that, No, you didn't over step the fucking line of friendship and you need a pat on the back to make yourself feel better, But you did over step, but then you already knew that right?.



Sunshine257
by Ruby Member on Nov. 18, 2013 at 2:48 PM
I would have made the same mistake. She told you he knew. How would you know he didn't?
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