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Women With Bad Tempers Are More Likely to End Up Divorced - Do YOU have a bad temper?

Posted by on Nov. 19, 2013 at 8:41 AM
  • 129 Replies

Women With Bad Tempers Are More Likely to End Up Divorced

by Michele Zipp

angryDo you have a bad temper sometimes? You can admit it. I do. There are times it just creeps out of nowhere and I'm instantly in a craptastic mood. There are other times it's a slow build that manifests and then I explode in anger. I have to be really, really mad for that though. It's rare but it happens ... if I get crossed. (Evil eye!) I have been known to blow up on my significant other. I've worked on that over the years, trying not to get all pissy over things I shouldn't get pissy over, but my temper gets the better of me sometimes. (Sorry.)

And if you believe the results of this new study, my bad temper is the reason I suck at relationships. In fact, it could be the reason people get divorced ... if the wife is the feisty one who can't cool down after a disagreement. This really pisses me off.

More from The Stir: 10 Signs It's Time to Get a Divorce

WHAT IS THIS ALL ABOUT? PLACING ALL THE BLAME ON THE WOMAN?!? And yes, I'm yelling because I'm angry and that bad temper I spoke of ... it's at a boiling point. Clearly I need to calm down. Now. And all the time.

This study looked at more than 80 middle-aged and older couples and examined how they go through disagreements. The couples in marriages where the wife calmed down faster after an argument were the happiest in the short and long run. Cool your jets, woman. I guess there really is something to that expression. (Note: I think some men need this advice, too. Just sayin'.)

Still, we shouldn't freak out and start throwing Brita pitchers at the computer (or our husbands) because as I mentioned, this study was done on middle-aged and older couples. Sure, we can learn from those who have been there (more) and done that (more), but the researchers point out that there is a generational thing going on here where the older folk feel the woman is the emotional center of a relationship. The mentality was that if the wife is happy, so is her husband, and so is the marriage. Not so true for the younger generations as many men are more in touch with that emo side. (Yay for emo dudes!)

It's also not the case that you can never have a major freak-out and be 100 percent anger-free to have a happy and forever kind of marriage, but we all know how helpful it is and it's never emotionally healthy to harbor your anger. This is why we have to communicate and communicating with one of those younger generation emo guys can serve some of us hot-blooded ladies well. Balance!

So be cool. Relax. Ohmmm. Ohmmm. Don't go throwing Brita pitchers. Trust me. I'm getting divorced.

Do you have a bad temper? Do you know how to work on that so your marriage doesn't suffer? What do you think of this study?

by on Nov. 19, 2013 at 8:41 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by Anonymous 1 on Nov. 19, 2013 at 8:51 AM
29 moms liked this

Wouldn't a bad temper put a strain on any marriage whether you're a woman or a man? I don't see why this is specifically directed toward women. I'm sure men with bad tempers are just as commonly divorced...This seems like another "How to be good so your man won't leave you" post. It's all about us women keeping our men!

by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 19, 2013 at 9:07 AM

i am quick to blow, i scream and rant and rave. i don't throw things (i may want to but i'm too afraid of breaking something). i acknowledge that but i also calm down quickly AFTER the arguement. which seems to be what the article is saying (unless i misinterpreted). i've seen the people that stew after the fight, their marriages seem to be more 'unstable' than mine. i hate to have things hanging in the air, so i do my best to get things cleared up as soon as they can be. my husband internalizes more than i do and i see the physical effects on him, i'm sure i am not exactly the picture of health when in the middle of a rant but, it seems to get out and over with much quicker. communication is key and most importantly, compatibility.

by on Nov. 19, 2013 at 9:07 AM
3 moms liked this

Wouldn't this be common sense?

by Gold Member on Nov. 19, 2013 at 9:30 AM
24 moms liked this

This is directed toward women because society says girls/ women should not be this way. We call girls bossy where we would say a boy will make a great leader. I say that's bullshit.

by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 19, 2013 at 9:52 AM
5 moms liked this

So do men with bad tempers.  What this is really saying is that women should never be anything other than overly cheerful, never have a bad day or need to vent.  But men can be as loud, rude and pissed off as they want and it's considered perfectly normal.  One more article bashing women on a site for women.  Great.

by Platinum Member on Nov. 19, 2013 at 9:54 AM
When my period starts I'm a bitch and get mad at everything...*sigh*
by spitfire_bobbie on Nov. 19, 2013 at 9:55 AM
1 mom liked this
I have a bad temper but once I let it out I'm 100% over it. Dh's fuse is longer but other than that he's the same way. Once we've said our piece we're over it.
by Gold Member on Nov. 19, 2013 at 9:58 AM

The study talks about not how often the women popped their top, but how quickly they cooled down. I have a way of yelling and screaming for about 3 minuets and then i'm fine. I just gotta say what im feeling, loudly. He does the same, sometimes he's just gotta yell for a mineut. Our fights never last more than 15 minuets. Then we stay away for a second, then talk. That's how we do this. I think keeping a marriage is mostly about how much each person wants it. Because if both of you want the same thing, to be together forever, then you will make it happen.

by on Nov. 19, 2013 at 9:59 AM
2 moms liked this

I think it is more aimed at women because men are less likely to put up with a hot tempered woman whereas women are usually more lenient if their husband has a bad temper.

Yes I have a temper on me but over the years I have learned to control it, to a point. 

by on Nov. 19, 2013 at 9:59 AM
1 mom liked this

I use to have a bad temper but I've learned to cool down because we have kids watching our every move. I think it has to due with maturity.

And like someone already mentioned, wouldn't this apply to men as well?? 

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