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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I cannot be alone

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 21 Replies

I have been in such a serious depressive funk lately, I have had to force myself to stay busy from the minute I wake up to the minute I go to bed.  Otherwise I'm afraid if I am alone with my thoughts I will just completely break down.  

But really, doing this is just treading water.   For my family's sake, I can't allow myself to hit rock bottom but I don't want to stay where I am either... how do I find the courage to tell the world to f*ck off and live it the way I want to?  Or how do I find the courage to end it?

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 20, 2013 at 9:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Lilith.23
by on Nov. 20, 2013 at 9:39 PM
End what?
What's wrong? :(
hey, find your courage within yourself ok, be stron, be brave and be selfish(yeees i said it).
Don't let the world drag you down, do not put up with shit.
Be your own woman, a good mother, and from this minute on!! Yeah like right now, say " i ain't taking any more bullshit"
if you want to change the way you're feeling or living then do it. Yo're the only one that can make that change in your life.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 20, 2013 at 9:41 PM

THERAPY.  I have been where you are at and still working on it.  Slowly but surely.  LOVE to you!

frndlyfn
by Silver Member on Nov. 20, 2013 at 9:42 PM

Call a hotline for crisis.  Many of those people are trained to listen when we are feeling at the bottom of the barrel with rest of sludge.  Then get referrals to a good psychologist to help rebuild your life and emotions.

Mommysmadae
by on Nov. 20, 2013 at 9:44 PM

Life is full of ups and downs but the good news is things will get better. I myself when I feel like life is choking me out I pray and lean on my faith in God. I know things make seem bleak right now but This To Shall Pass. Btw this quote is tattooed on my side just to remind me where I have been and that no matter what happens I will be allright.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 20, 2013 at 9:44 PM
Go see a dr! They can help you!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Nov. 20, 2013 at 9:47 PM

Get outside and get some exercise and sunshine! Eat healthy foods and find a support group of friendly people! And lots of dark chocolate. All of these things can help break depression. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 20, 2013 at 10:50 PM

I'm just tired of working two jobs only to still be in the negative in my bank account every week.  

I'm tired of having projects dumped on me (work, home, church, whatever) at last minute because they know I'll do what it takes to get it done and done right - even if it means pulling an all-nighter

I'm tired of having a husband who travels 75% of the time and then expects me to be at his beck and call when he is home.

I'm tired of having three ungrateful boys who expect the world to be handed to them on a silver platter and then put up a fuss when I ask them to *gulp* do their chores or go to church with me.

I'm tired of being the only one who cooks, cleans, does laundry, drives kids to practices, events, whatever

I'm exhausted from having a "special needs" child who needs hours of my attention each day just to get his homework done (I was able to do my homework on my own at his age - I AM NOT faulting him here, I love him and I will do what needs to be done for him for as long as I have to but that doesn't mean I can't be frustrated with it)  

I'm sorry that all that time spent with one of my boys means my other two have to fight for the remaining few minutes and drops of energy that I have left.

I'm tired of losing two hours a day to a tiresome commute for a boss who thinks work comes before family and only pretends to understand when the school nurse calls or when I absolutely CAN NOT make it to an event on Saturday because my son has a Cub Scout activity or a sports game and his dad is out of town and can't take him.  I'm angry that my boss won't let me work from home one day a week when other people in our office do because that would mean she would have to let another co-worker have that option to and she can't trust HIM.

I'm tired of not having family that lives less than 12 hours away and only visits during the holidays.  I'm tired of always being the one to ask for favors and rarely being able to return them.    

I'm tired of living with the regret of marrying my husband because as we get older we grow more different with different life goals and different sets of morals and ethics.  I'm sorry that I didn't listen to my gut instinct when he proposed that told me he wasn't headed down the same path as me.  I wish I had the courage to leave but I keep telling myself that it's "not that bad" and  I'm in it for the boys.  

I wish I had a mother who would help me instead of criticise me.  I wish I had a mother-in-law who would help me instead of criticise me.  

I'm tired of being called a super woman, a rock.  I'm tired of being asked "how do you do it?"  I just do.  And I do it because I know if I stop, I'll fall apart.

I can go on -- but those are the major ones....

Quoting Lilith.23:

End what?
What's wrong? :(
hey, find your courage within yourself ok, be stron, be brave and be selfish(yeees i said it).
Don't let the world drag you down, do not put up with shit.
Be your own woman, a good mother, and from this minute on!! Yeah like right now, say " i ain't taking any more bullshit"
if you want to change the way you're feeling or living then do it. Yo're the only one that can make that change in your life.



briellesmomma
by Velvet on Nov. 20, 2013 at 10:53 PM

Sweetie, I have been asking myself that for the last 4 years. Good luck and please see a therapist. I found a really good one and had to switch. I hate starting over but I know its what is best for my family.

ivegotrhythm
by Gold Member on Nov. 20, 2013 at 10:55 PM
Oh God, I'm so sorry. That broke my heart.

I have no brilliant advice to offer you. Just prayers. Those I can give.


Quoting Anonymous:

I'm just tired of working two jobs only to still be in the negative in my bank account every week.  

I'm tired of having projects dumped on me (work, home, church, whatever) at last minute because they know I'll do what it takes to get it done and done right - even if it means pulling an all-nighter

I'm tired of having a husband who travels 75% of the time and then expects me to be at his beck and call when he is home.

I'm tired of having three ungrateful boys who expect the world to be handed to them on a silver platter and then put up a fuss when I ask them to *gulp* do their chores or go to church with me.

I'm tired of being the only one who cooks, cleans, does laundry, drives kids to practices, events, whatever

I'm exhausted from having a "special needs" child who needs hours of my attention each day just to get his homework done (I was able to do my homework on my own at his age - I AM NOT faulting him here, I love him and I will do what needs to be done for him for as long as I have to but that doesn't mean I can't be frustrated with it)  

I'm sorry that all that time spent with one of my boys means my other two have to fight for the remaining few minutes and drops of energy that I have left.

I'm tired of losing two hours a day to a tiresome commute for a boss who thinks work comes before family and only pretends to understand when the school nurse calls or when I absolutely CAN NOT make it to an event on Saturday because my son has a Cub Scout activity or a sports game and his dad is out of town and can't take him.  I'm angry that my boss won't let me work from home one day a week when other people in our office do because that would mean she would have to let another co-worker have that option to and she can't trust HIM.

I'm tired of not having family that lives less than 12 hours away and only visits during the holidays.  I'm tired of always being the one to ask for favors and rarely being able to return them.    

I'm tired of living with the regret of marrying my husband because as we get older we grow more different with different life goals and different sets of morals and ethics.  I'm sorry that I didn't listen to my gut instinct when he proposed that told me he wasn't headed down the same path as me.  I wish I had the courage to leave but I keep telling myself that it's "not that bad" and  I'm in it for the boys.  

I wish I had a mother who would help me instead of criticise me.  I wish I had a mother-in-law who would help me instead of criticise me.  

I'm tired of being called a super woman, a rock.  I'm tired of being asked "how do you do it?"  I just do.  And I do it because I know if I stop, I'll fall apart.

I can go on -- but those are the major ones....


Quoting Lilith.23:

End what?

What's wrong? :(

hey, find your courage within yourself ok, be stron, be brave and be selfish(yeees i said it).

Don't let the world drag you down, do not put up with shit.

Be your own woman, a good mother, and from this minute on!! Yeah like right now, say " i ain't taking any more bullshit"

if you want to change the way you're feeling or living then do it. Yo're the only one that can make that change in your life.





Lilith.23
by on Nov. 20, 2013 at 10:58 PM
I seriously want to hug you, put you on vacation and tell your husband to eat shit, you're kids to stop acting like idiots and they better do their choirs or they'll be fucked when i get all Wrath of the titants on their asses,
tell whoever who keeps on putting extra shit on you're plate to do it themselves because you may be a wonder woman but you ain't theirs.
Bless your heart for taking the time with your child and his homework.
You're boss...well that i cannot say cause you do need the job.
And it'll get better.
Don't stay for the kids, they always know and see that things are falling apart, it may seem as if things are headed downhill but dear, you can pick yourself back up and change the negativity in your life.
It's never too late to make your own happiness, and don't stay with a man that makes you miserable, i may be young but i know what love is, and i love my DH, but i also love Myself enough to not accept less then what i deserve and you deserve the best. <3 I'm sending you prayers, you'll get through this.


Quoting Anonymous:

I'm just tired of working two jobs only to still be in the negative in my bank account every week.  

I'm tired of having projects dumped on me (work, home, church, whatever) at last minute because they know I'll do what it takes to get it done and done right - even if it means pulling an all-nighter

I'm tired of having a husband who travels 75% of the time and then expects me to be at his beck and call when he is home.

I'm tired of having three ungrateful boys who expect the world to be handed to them on a silver platter and then put up a fuss when I ask them to *gulp* do their chores or go to church with me.

I'm tired of being the only one who cooks, cleans, does laundry, drives kids to practices, events, whatever

I'm exhausted from having a "special needs" child who needs hours of my attention each day just to get his homework done (I was able to do my homework on my own at his age - I AM NOT faulting him here, I love him and I will do what needs to be done for him for as long as I have to but that doesn't mean I can't be frustrated with it)  

I'm sorry that all that time spent with one of my boys means my other two have to fight for the remaining few minutes and drops of energy that I have left.

I'm tired of losing two hours a day to a tiresome commute for a boss who thinks work comes before family and only pretends to understand when the school nurse calls or when I absolutely CAN NOT make it to an event on Saturday because my son has a Cub Scout activity or a sports game and his dad is out of town and can't take him.  I'm angry that my boss won't let me work from home one day a week when other people in our office do because that would mean she would have to let another co-worker have that option to and she can't trust HIM.

I'm tired of not having family that lives less than 12 hours away and only visits during the holidays.  I'm tired of always being the one to ask for favors and rarely being able to return them.    

I'm tired of living with the regret of marrying my husband because as we get older we grow more different with different life goals and different sets of morals and ethics.  I'm sorry that I didn't listen to my gut instinct when he proposed that told me he wasn't headed down the same path as me.  I wish I had the courage to leave but I keep telling myself that it's "not that bad" and  I'm in it for the boys.  

I wish I had a mother who would help me instead of criticise me.  I wish I had a mother-in-law who would help me instead of criticise me.  

I'm tired of being called a super woman, a rock.  I'm tired of being asked "how do you do it?"  I just do.  And I do it because I know if I stop, I'll fall apart.

I can go on -- but those are the major ones....


Quoting Lilith.23:

End what?

What's wrong? :(

hey, find your courage within yourself ok, be stron, be brave and be selfish(yeees i said it).

Don't let the world drag you down, do not put up with shit.

Be your own woman, a good mother, and from this minute on!! Yeah like right now, say " i ain't taking any more bullshit"

if you want to change the way you're feeling or living then do it. Yo're the only one that can make that change in your life.





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You must be a member to reply to this post.
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