My daughter is 4.5 years old, will be 5 in August, and is a complete handful. She has always been a handful. She has always been determined to have her own way, and there are times when I give in because I can't take it anymore. There are other times when I explode at her because she just takes it too far. I have had her evaluated by a child psychiatrist on the advice of her pediatrician, and my gut instinct was right. There is nothing wrong with her. She has no form of any disorder. She just has to have her own way regardless of the cost. She has a 9 year old older sister. We used the same parenting methods. Her older sister is a dream-- sweet, polite, cooperative while YDD fights everything! I actually started counseling to try to figure out how to parent this kid because spanking was bordering on abusive, and I didn't want to be that mom. How the fuck can a 4 year old not care about a spanking?
Recently after discussing my parenting issues with my counselor, she recommended a book on parenting strong-willed children. I read that fucking book cover to cover. Then I read it out loud to DH. Then DH and I started to put a plan into action in order to help her get her behavior under control. We would tell her what we needed her to do and attach a consequence. "Sara, you will hold my hand in the store or you will get a time out." We have a specific time out area in the house, and if she needs time out when we are out, we take her to the car and strap her in her carseat for the allotted time.
I thought it was starting to work. She was starting to cooperate. She was starting to listen.
Yeah right. Sara decided a few days ago that she was no longer toilet trained. She is peeing and shitting her pants like a baby. I know she's just playing us. She has done this before. This is her old standby. I know she is trying to see what will happen. She was such a mess tonight that I put her in the shower. We live in a duplex with a shared hot water heater. The upstairs neighbors had used it all up and she got a cold shower which made me feel horrible. Then I made her wash out her own panties which made me feel vindicated because she hated it so.
I don't know what to do. I don't know how to parent her. I don't know how she turned out so different than her older sister.
I'll take any advice or bashing (although I doubt I could be bashed any further than I am currently bashing myself).