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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Is it okay to sit on his lap?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Hello. I am married and we are going through a rough patch, so today I was crying to my bff (who is a guy) and he pulled me onto his lap to comfort me and just let me cry. I have been friends with this guy since high school and he is like a brother to me I NEVER thought of him as anything sexual. But  I was telling my sister how sweet he was in comforting me and she was yelling at me that a married woman shouldn't sit on their guy friends lap. I dont know if I did something wrong or if she is just being ridiculous. What do you think?

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 23, 2013 at 9:02 PM
Replies (41-50):
quinnsmom715
by Donna on Nov. 23, 2013 at 9:24 PM

maybe you and your guy friend are both nonsexual friends.however,when one or both of you is in a relationship,the touching should be knocked off.men and women sharing feelings and being all emotional can lead to sex..face it,you are very mad at hubby,and heres this other guy being sweet and supportive..thats when sex gets involved..

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 23, 2013 at 9:25 PM

I will forgive him, but he needs to be truely sorry.


Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

And now what?

Are you going to forgive him? Is he sorry? Will he do differently in the future? Was trust lost? How will you get it back? How are you going to repair your marriage?

These are things you two need to talk about.

Quoting Anonymous:

He knows I am mad at him and he also knows what he did was wrong


Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

Then tell him!! Nothing will get fixed until the lines of communication are opened.

Quoting Anonymous:

I know, but right now I am just so mad at him.


Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

I don't think you did anything wrong.

That being said, you should have had this emotional moment with your husband. If you are going through a rough patch he needs to see you upset and he needs to be the one to comfort you so you two can rebuild that bond. I would say this to you even if your BFF was a woman.









The_Doodle
by Platinum Member on Nov. 23, 2013 at 9:26 PM

I wouldn't be comfortable with a female friend of DH's sitting in his lap, and I wouldn't do it, either.

ashleynm85
by on Nov. 23, 2013 at 9:26 PM

The way you worded it was basically saying that every woman with a male best friend would understand.


Quoting Trying4onemore:

My husband as SEEN me sit in his lap we all grew up together as KIDS in elementary school we KNOW we are all just friends and don't suffer with jealousy 

I was telling her of MY experiences not yours
Quoting ashleynm85:

I have a guy best friend and uh...  I STILL FIND THIS INAPPROPRIATE!!
If my husband went to a girl best friend and snuggled with her for comfort, I'd be pissed!!   


Quoting Trying4onemore:

Women that do not have friends that are their best friends that are male will never understand this and will assume that you're being a whore or that you're going to sleep with him or have some kind of sexual thought which is not the case at all


my bbc is male and I have cried and he has done the same to me ,it felt great to cry and be held and feel Like someone really cared 



I feel ya girl no harm no fowl






Trying4onemore
by on Nov. 23, 2013 at 9:29 PM

Sorry I should have said Most 

Quoting ashleynm85:

The way you worded it was basically saying that every woman with a male best friend would understand.


Quoting Trying4onemore:

My husband as SEEN me sit in his lap we all grew up together as KIDS in elementary school we KNOW we are all just friends and don't suffer with jealousy 

I was telling her of MY experiences not yours
Quoting ashleynm85:

I have a guy best friend and uh...  I STILL FIND THIS INAPPROPRIATE!!
If my husband went to a girl best friend and snuggled with her for comfort, I'd be pissed!!   


Quoting Trying4onemore:

Women that do not have friends that are their best friends that are male will never understand this and will assume that you're being a whore or that you're going to sleep with him or have some kind of sexual thought which is not the case at all


my bbc is male and I have cried and he has done the same to me ,it felt great to cry and be held and feel Like someone really cared 



I feel ya girl no harm no fowl







Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 23, 2013 at 9:29 PM

I would never cheat, but its nice just knowing that someone cares.


Quoting quinnsmom715:

maybe you and your guy friend are both nonsexual friends.however,when one or both of you is in a relationship,the touching should be knocked off.men and women sharing feelings and being all emotional can lead to sex..face it,you are very mad at hubby,and heres this other guy being sweet and supportive..thats when sex gets involved..



ashleynm85
by on Nov. 23, 2013 at 9:30 PM
1 mom liked this

Also, it's not about sex or jealousy.  It's about maintaining a strong marriage.  If you are running to the opposite sex for comfort, something isn't right.  How many male/female best friend relationships turn into something more?  Quite a lot!!  If there are problems in the marriage, you need to take that up with each other or a counseler.  When you share your marital problems with another person (not including counselors who are paid to help you), you are inviting them into your marriage.  My marriage is between the two of us and God.  We don't need anyone else in it either.


Quoting Trying4onemore:

My husband as SEEN me sit in his lap we all grew up together as KIDS in elementary school we KNOW we are all just friends and don't suffer with jealousy 

Quoting BewitchedKisses:

I've been friends with my best friend, who is a guy, for more than 20 years. I have never, ever, ever sat on his lap, held his hand or anything like that. We went to prom together There has been an occasional hug, and sometimes he's hugged me while I cried for a minute. 

If you are a married woman, the only man's lap you should be in is your husbands. No matter what. 

Quoting Trying4onemore:

Women that do not have friends that are their best friends that are male will never understand this and will assume that you're being a whore or that you're going to sleep with him or have some kind of sexual thought which is not the case at all


my bbc is male and I have cried and he has done the same to me ,it felt great to cry and be held and feel Like someone really cared 



I feel ya girl no harm no fowl





alexsmomaubrys2
by Ruby Member on Nov. 23, 2013 at 9:30 PM

What I am asking is if you have talked to him about any of it or did you just leave it at "I'm mad at you".  Have you talked about what it will take for him to show he is truly sorry...etc?

Quoting Anonymous:

I will forgive him, but he needs to be truely sorry.


Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

And now what?

Are you going to forgive him? Is he sorry? Will he do differently in the future? Was trust lost? How will you get it back? How are you going to repair your marriage?

These are things you two need to talk about.

Quoting Anonymous:

He knows I am mad at him and he also knows what he did was wrong


Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

Then tell him!! Nothing will get fixed until the lines of communication are opened.

Quoting Anonymous:

I know, but right now I am just so mad at him.


Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

I don't think you did anything wrong.

That being said, you should have had this emotional moment with your husband. If you are going through a rough patch he needs to see you upset and he needs to be the one to comfort you so you two can rebuild that bond. I would say this to you even if your BFF was a woman.










”Nonsense wakes up the brain cells. And it helps develop a sense of humor, which is awfully important in this day and age.” - Dr. Seuss. 

strontium
by on Nov. 23, 2013 at 9:31 PM
sounds like he was trying to be slick and take advantage of your situation. ive never sat in a guy friends lap unless i was drunk and single
holyhoola
by Ruby Member on Nov. 23, 2013 at 9:31 PM
No bueno!
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