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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Porn is ruining my life

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 168 Replies

I am going anon for obvious reasons. First, this is embarrassing and second, I am a well known member here.

So, as I said, porn is ruining my life- well, more so my marriage, which IS part of my life.

My husband has a serious addiction to it, he would rather watch porn than come to me for sex. We have sex maybe twice a month if I'm lucky, he watches porn every day, sometimes more than once a day.

I have told him how much it hurts me, how it makes me feel worthless, pathetic and like a piece of shit and he says "it's all in my head". He then makes excuses like "we have 4 kids, we don't have time for sex" or "I started watching porn when I was young, it's impossible for me to stop" (mind you, this didn't become an issue until a few years ago, we'd been married 2 years and together for 6 years).

It's wrecking havoc in our home life, we fight- A LOT. I have asked him to start therapy, even said I would go with him and he refuses, says he doesn't "need it".

I don't know what to do anymore. My self esteem is gone and I feel like a worthless bag of shit.

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 25, 2013 at 10:09 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MommyofJustin
by on Nov. 25, 2013 at 10:16 AM
So sorry momma. My ex had the same problem exceot we didnt have kids then so he couldnt use most excuses.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 25, 2013 at 10:21 AM
4 moms liked this
First, try to understand his porn adiction is not about you. It is not a reflection of how he views you, how he sees you or how he wants to be with you.
Like you said it is an addiction. Until he is willing to get help for it he is going to suffer from and you will suffer as well because of it. At this point my only advice is to start ignoring him.
Don't go to him for attention , don't complain to him about you needing love and affection , and start giving him the cold shoulder.
Once he understands how you feel, and that is not a very fun feeling maybe just maybe he'll get a clue.
As long as you make the issue about you he will not understand what you're trying to convey to him. Be unavailable when he wants to have sex. You want a healthy sex life, then he is going to need to get help.
mommyoftoddlers
by Bronze Member on Nov. 25, 2013 at 10:23 AM

Ok men watch porn but if he can't live without it then he definetly has a problem. Then when you talk to him he gives you a lame excuse...I would feel bad too. Do you cry when you tell him these things? I'm sorry!

Missdameanor
by Not-a-felony on Nov. 25, 2013 at 10:27 AM

Can you go to counseling without him?

katrina.0822
by Bronze Member on Nov. 25, 2013 at 10:35 AM
2 moms liked this

 Find a fuck buddy. He'll get the hint really fast :P

My ex husband had a porn addiction. Also had a problem with sleeping around the neighborhood.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 25, 2013 at 10:38 AM
3 moms liked this
What would she get out of going to counseling by her self? He has the problem, he's the one who needs to go. Wouldn't counseling only teach her how to cope with his behavior and not fix it?


Quoting Missdameanor:

Can you go to counseling without him?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 25, 2013 at 10:42 AM
It's hard not to think that it isn't about me.
I have ignored him in the past. Things got a bit better and then it went back to the way it is now.

Quoting Anonymous:

First, try to understand his porn adiction is not about you. It is not a reflection of how he views you, how he sees you or how he wants to be with you.

Like you said it is an addiction. Until he is willing to get help for it he is going to suffer from and you will suffer as well because of it. At this point my only advice is to start ignoring him.

Don't go to him for attention , don't complain to him about you needing love and affection , and start giving him the cold shoulder.

Once he understands how you feel, and that is not a very fun feeling maybe just maybe he'll get a clue.

As long as you make the issue about you he will not understand what you're trying to convey to him. Be unavailable when he wants to have sex. You want a healthy sex life, then he is going to need to get help.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 25, 2013 at 10:43 AM
Yes, I try not to but it hurts. The tears don't phase him.

Quoting mommyoftoddlers:

Ok men watch porn but if he can't live without it then he definetly has a problem. Then when you talk to him he gives you a lame excuse...I would feel bad too. Do you cry when you tell him these things? I'm sorry!

happymomma13
by Platinum Member on Nov. 25, 2013 at 10:44 AM
1 mom liked this
I love it when I come across an intelligent anon.

Can I like this a thousand times?

You're dead on.


Quoting Anonymous:

What would she get out of going to counseling by her self? He has the problem, he's the one who needs to go. Wouldn't counseling only teach her how to cope with his behavior and not fix it?




Quoting Missdameanor:

Can you go to counseling without him?



childofGod995
by on Nov. 25, 2013 at 10:44 AM
1 mom liked this

if that marriage is going to last, he certainly needs to seek counseling

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